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How to have myt cat accept me.

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
I have had my cat for about 2 years and he doesn';t like me much. I know it may be too later but I still want to try to get him to be comfortable with me.

Here are some questions.

Spots where to pet.
When to pet him.
How long to pet him.
When to pick him up.
How to aproach him.

And any other info you think might be important.

Thank You!
post #2 of 5
Can you give more info. on what you are doing (e.g. playing with him with toys, vs just giving him something but not interacting), how and when he gets fed, where he lives (house, apt., etc.), and if he's neutered which, if he isn't could make a big difference in his behaviour. Also, if you use strongly scented hand lotion or flowery soap, try switching to Ivory or something that might be easier for him to take (like tuna smell :-)! Most cats don't like their whole back halves to be petted much, but do like being stroked from their chins back up their faces and under the ears, or over the head and around the ears. They aren't crazy about being picked up a lot, but will appreciate a lap, especially if there's a little blanket on it to keep their legs from falling through! Pet him slowly and gently until he appears restless. What does he seem to dislike particularly, and/or like?
post #3 of 5
Some cats are just suspicious by nature and some are very sensitive to touch.

We have 4 kittens who were born in this house over a year ago and there is one of them who STILL wll not let most of the family touch her. She has had no trauma, she is just a hard nut to crack.

(I agree that more info would be helpful...but I will give you some suggestions if he is just a very timid, easily spooked cat)

My suggestions.

-Soft soothing voice always

-Small amounts of time where you just quietly sit or lay down near by. No contact, just a non threatening time in the same room. Sitting or laying down so that he is less vulnerable to your size.

-When you look at him, blink your eyes slowly...it's a non threatening gesture.
Do NOT pick him up until he is comfortable with you...this may be a long time.

-When you are having a session of quiet time, bring a bowl of food in the room and place it between him and you. Then move it closer each time. Never touching him, just allowing him to know that you are there, that you are the food source

-Allow him to come to you.

-when you are doing your daily thing, ignore his presence...just allow him to watch you

-when he DOES approach you, pet him if he allows...but make the visit short with him wanting more. Then walk away.
post #4 of 5
I agree with above suggestions but as well or ..................
I would talk to him a lot, just about whatever...let him watch you but acknowledge his presense by talking to him, like your talking to yourself, but your not! Especially when your feeding him and changing his water, litter, you already have his attention since your doing things that directly affect him.
Definitely allow him to come to you, but you can also coax him out by playing with him. There are a lot of fun interaction cat toys out that they love as well as help build a relationship between you and your kitty.
If he is that shy about petting him, the best is a long stroke from head to tail, this is the least personal area. Until more trust comes, then they love light head scratch/messages, chin, this is where thier scent glands are.... it really depends on the kitty. Maia loves pets all over, shes not the usual though!
As far as picking him up, this is something I feel very strongly about. Our pets should allow us to do so at anytime if there is an emergency so we can get them out of danger. BUT.....this is something that comes after a trusting relationship is established between both of you. So I would'nt push picking him up till hes ready. Most cats don't like being held, but they don't fight it if they love you and trust you as much as you do them.
post #5 of 5
Patience is key. We think Puppy may have been abused at one time. When we first got him, he hated being picked up and cuddled. He wouldn't even sit on the bed at the same time as us!

We started with just sitting on the bed when he was sleeping. Then we would just scratch his chin and ears. He likes this. After a few minutes, he would freak out. When we recognized this, we would pull away. Eventually, he wouldn't freak out anymore, and you could sit on the bed and scratch his chin when he was fully awake. Then we just worked on "closeness". Just lying next to him with a book while he's sound asleep. He would get nervous when he got up, but then I'd pull away and scratch his chin.

Now, he's to the point where he sleeps on the same bed as us, and he will accept cuddling for a few minutes if we initiate it. He also will accept being picked up, and will even purr when he gets a chin scratch while getting picked up. It's been about a year, and he's a loving cat by nature who was just in a bad home. For a more nervous cat, expect it to take longer.
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