My Little Nathan

Hello all,

Well on Saturday I had to let my 10 year old black cat Nathan go. He was diagnosed with cancer the previous Monday and went straight down hill from there. My husband likes to think it is because he knew that we finally knew and he could stop hiding his illness.

Nathan was my #1 (don't tell the others). I got him my sophmore year in college when I had my first apartment. He would come for car rides with me to campus and loved it. He loved to terrorize my roommates by knocking things off the counter and then meow at them as if to dare them to tell on him. Of course when they did tell me I never believed them- Nathan was the most angelic kitty ever . As he got older his favorite this was to come and tap my head as I slept. Or help me wake up in the morning. When ever I would turn on the shower he would come skidding into the bathroom and sit on the toilet while I showered. When I got out he would reach out to me and pull my wet hand over to pet him. He never once ever used his claws on people- even when batting and swatting at your hand.

I miss him so much- but I know letting him go before it got really bad for him was the right thing to do. He was not eating and hiding and barely had the strength to walk. The cancer was so aggresive and diffused through out his abdomen that the vet said he probably would even respond to treatment. Part of me feels like I failed him- and the other part of me knows a did everything I could and gave him the best life a cat could ask for.

So Nathan left behind his brother Skye. Skye seems to be doing well. Only a little bit of searching for Nathan and the occational crying through out the house. He is actually acting more playful (he has spent the last few weeks by Nathan's side watching out for him). I plan to get him a new friend. My husband is making me feel guilty about thinking about this so soon after losing Nathan. Nathan loved kittens (he used to carry my best friend's kitten around in his mouth like he was it's mommy).

I know we only lost Nathan this week, but I would like to give a needy kitten a home. Please help me feel not so guilty about wanting to do it so soon.

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. You have been in my thoughts since you first posted about Nathan.

RIP Nathan

I had a similar experience with my Molly going downhill fast. Within a week of bringing her to the vets, she was gone. If you ever need to vent, cry or scream about it, PM me.

As far as the guilt, welcome to the club. Within a week of losing Molly, I was on Petfinder looking, but the feelings of guilt were overwhelming. We waited 6 weeks only because we were in the process of moving, and had a week and a half vacation planned. The emptiness in the house was overwhelming, and I had to get another kitty, but the guilt feeling were still there. My husband tried to put it in perspective for me by saying that the urge to get another cat was a testament to what a great cat Molly was and how wonderful the experience was and how much she was loved. It helped to think about it that way.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Clearly you loved Nathan very much and gave him a wonderful kitty life. Any cat would be lucky to have you as their meowmy.

I lost my 2 elderly cats last year within a month of each other(long story) and got my Russian Blue mix Natasha a month later because Viola was so lonely. She had never been alone in her life.

If you feel you are ready to get a new cat for yourself or your surviving cat, I say go for it. Your husband is just trying to find a way to express his grief- it's harder for most men.

RIP Nathan

I'm sorry for your loss. RIP Nathan, you were a great kitty.

It's never a bad thing to give a new kitty a home. There are so many out there that need our love.

I am so sorry for your loss.

There is a kitty out there who needs a home.
When you are ready, you will honor your Nathan's memory by opening your heart and home to another kitty.

RIP precious Nathen.

My heart goes out to you, I lost my Snow on Saturday too, we talked before. I have 2 other cats, both girls, Zoe and Zazzy. They both have been looking all around the house for Snow and looking at me as if to ask what happened to Snow, and today Zazzy , she's 8, is depressed, not eating, looking in all the places Snow would be. My daughters have been consoling the cats by paying a little more attention then they usually do with them. My daughters want another kitten, but I, like your husband, am not ready to do that. But if you are, then get another baby. That's how I got my Snow 16 years ago, my cat BooBoo died, and 2 weeks later, I found Snow and brought her home. She was a special needs cat because of her deafness and taught me so much, my heart is broken having had to put her down. Do not feel guilty about wanting another baby, because if I had left guilt rule me 16 years ago, I would never have had Snow in my life.

I'm so sorry about your loss of sweet Nathan. It's so hard to let go of our favorite/soul kitty,I know that feeling all too well.
Personally I think you should wait till YOU feel the time is right to get a new kitty because guilt is a hard thing to live with. It may also help to honor Nathan's life in a special way. Rest in peace Sweet Nathan

Thanks for the advice everyone!

It has been so strange here without him. It is like there is an energy missing. It is so quiet (despite the Skye and his puppy sister Hannah). I actually submitted an application today to meet a rescued kitten that is in foster care. I was feeling good about it untill I spoke to my husband, best friend, and mother- none of whom sounded excited or supportive.

I'm not replacing my beloved one and only Nathan. I'm bringing a new member into the family. But everyone is making me feel like I'm doing Naters a dishonor.

Originally Posted by Melanie&Nathan

Thanks for the advice everyone!

It has been so strange here without him. It is like there is an energy missing. It is so quiet (despite the Skye and his puppy sister Hannah). I actually submitted an application today to meet a rescued kitten that is in foster care. I was feeling good about it untill I spoke to my husband, best friend, and mother- none of whom sounded excited or supportive.

I'm not replacing my beloved one and only Nathan. I'm bringing a new member into the family. But everyone is making me feel like I'm doing Naters a dishonor.

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Melanie, you should follow your heart, and what feels right for you
and I know what you mean by quiet when Bella first passed the silence was deafening around here!

Oh honey, sorry, sorry headbuts and tearful sad licks from KittenKiya's Clan.

You have no reason to feel guilty about getting another kitten. How can an act of love, make someone guilty?

You loved Nathan enough to let him go before it got bad. You will love another kitten that you get. No reason to feel guilty.

I am sorry to hear about your loss. Never feel guilty for wanting to give anouther kit a forever home. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give. My thoughts are with you

Tricia

Originally Posted by Melanie&Nathan

I know we only lost Nathan this week, but I would like to give a needy kitten a home. Please help me feel not so guilty about wanting to do it so soon.

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"The life you save may be an angel."

Don't feel guilty. If your home and heart are ready, there is no reason to wait to adopt. It's not disrepectful to Nathan; on the contrary it sounds like a beautiful way to honour him.

Rest in peace Nathan; play in perfect health at Rainbow Bridge.

When the time comes, remember to take the time to read through the introduction threads and to be patient, if necessary, with the getting to know you process that Skye will go through.

Finally, my profound condolences on your sad loss.