I'm going to scream if....

lionessrampant

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....one more person tells me I'm too young to get married.

It's getting old people!!!!

For whatever reason, it happened like 10 times today, just out of the blue. I think it's kind of rude to say that...I just feel like I get put in a little box because of the year on my birth certificate.

It also happened a lot after I mistakenly went onto a not-as-friendly-as-this board to get some insights about some issues that we're working through in counseling....way to be, Allie. Probably not a great place to go, but I've always loved the anonymity and objectivity of the 'net. Basically, they all implied that my problems are obviously just there because I'm young (it has to do with some differences in background that we're...but mostly myself...are trying to work through).

So, how old were you when you got hitched? Do you think there's a "too young" or "too old age"?
 

gailc

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I do not know how old you are. I was 28 when I got married. I was engaged almost 2 years. My mom had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer earlier that year and we had to wait on her prognosis (she good!!) So it could have been a hurry up wedding but mom asked if we could wait (living together anyway) until her own hair grew out. My sister was closing in on 30!!!
 

jugen

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If you're in love, you're never to young. Tell everyone who thinks so to buzz off!
You do what your heart tells you is right and you'll be happy.
 

katiemae1277

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I was 24 when I got married, my Mom thought that was too young even though it was the same age as her
To be honest, I'm a very different person than I was just those few short years ago, your twenties is a time of maturing, growing, etc, not saying that the failed marriage didn't cause some of the changes in me
, but all I'll say is if you think you're ready, than nothing anyone says is going to change your mind, but people do change alot in this decade
 

gingersmom

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I'm almost 40, and I'm still too young to get married.


Seriously - it's about what YOU want, not what other people judgements are.

You make your bed, you have to lie in it. If you are too young, you'll either grow up really fast or you won't. Your marriage will either be successful or it won't.

What you do with your life is YOUR business.
 

janb

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I got married when i was 20. 4 days after my birthday so i had just turned 20. People told me then i was too young, and him being 9yrs older than me didn't help. I am divorsed now
but thats only cos it turned out he was an idiot, which is me being polite. I am sure you know what feels right though. I say go for it, if you are both happy and in love with each other then why shouldn't you.
When do you plan to get married?
 
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lionessrampant

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Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I was 24 when I got married, my Mom thought that was too young even though it was the same age as her
To be honest, I'm a very different person than I was just those few short years ago, your twenties is a time of maturing, growing, etc, not saying that the failed marriage didn't cause some of the changes in me
, but all I'll say is if you think you're ready, than nothing anyone says is going to change your mind, but people do change alot in this decade
See for me, I honestly have a bunch of issues with the whole "waiting to settle down" mentality:
1. First of all, we spend every day of our lives, from cradle to grave, changing and evolving. Despite the conventional knowledge, I don't think we ever "settle down"
2. Even if we wait out our teens and twenties and we become slightly more cemented or trapped in our lives, it'll take so much more effort to learn how to share. I myself looovvvvee the idea of being married right out of college. I have no money, little savings, few assets, no job and a completely blank slate. THis puts me in a place where everything from the name change to the investments to moving around to find a job or place to start a family will become so much easier to change and wiggle around, since we can really sort of move with each other, you know? If I'm transitioning in life, may as well throw this transition in there, too.
3. Marriage is all about, at least from my understanding, learning to how accomodate another person's constant changes and reinventions 100% of the time (unless there's abuse there, of course). I feel like regardless of when you get married, you and your spouse will be different people when death do you part, if you get married at 18 or 30.
 

purrpaws

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I was 21, and while I had envisioned myself getting married at an older age, I found the right man and really felt in my heart that it was the right time. I don't regret it.
 

bella713

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My husband was married at 19 they were together since 16 and they were together for 24 years before she died from cancer. When you're in love you're in love, and who cares what other people say!
 

phenomsmom

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Well i don't think there is an age at which you become old enough to get married. I was ready to get married at 18 but am still not because my BF isn't ready. It all depends on you and your maturity level! Screw what everyone else thinks!
 

maddensmom

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I was 19 when I got married, and he was 20. I think the "right" age differs from person to person. Some of us are more mature than others at an early age.


Don't worry, as soon as you get married it will switch from "You're too young to get married!" to "When are you going to have a baby?".
THAT drives me insane!!! I've gotten to the point that, no matter who it is I respond...IF we have one I'll let you know!! I wish people could just mind their own bussiness! If I want your opinion I'll ask!!
 

katiemae1277

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Originally Posted by lionessrampant

See for me, I honestly have a bunch of issues with the whole "waiting to settle down" mentality:
1. First of all, we spend every day of our lives, from cradle to grave, changing and evolving. Despite the conventional knowledge, I don't think we ever "settle down"
2. Even if we wait out our teens and twenties and we become slightly more cemented or trapped in our lives, it'll take so much more effort to learn how to share. I myself looovvvvee the idea of being married right out of college. I have no money, little savings, few assets, no job and a completely blank slate. THis puts me in a place where everything from the name change to the investments to moving around to find a job or place to start a family will become so much easier to change and wiggle around, since we can really sort of move with each other, you know? If I'm transitioning in life, may as well throw this transition in there, too.
3. Marriage is all about, at least from my understanding, learning to how accomodate another person's constant changes and reinventions 100% of the time (unless there's abuse there, of course). I feel like regardless of when you get married, you and your spouse will be different people when death do you part, if you get married at 18 or 30.
I didn't mean so much as settling down, cause I know that I'll probably never settle down
but what I want from life is very different than what I wanted at 21, or even 24, cat insanity being one of them
Some people can work through the changes, my ex and I couldn't, his changes basically changed him into someone I didn't know, and didn't really care to know either
 

sarahbeez

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Well I'm not married yet but we were 17 & 18 when we met, now 24 & 25. I think when we get married (assuming things go according to plan!) we'll be 26 & 27.... which is about 3-5 years older than I would have liked!
 

katachtig

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I was 33 when I got married and that was a surprise as I thought I wasn't going to get married. I personally believe that 20 is the youngest age for marriage. But even then, I look at the person I was at 20 then 25. I wasn't mature enough at 20 to make the commitment required of marriage. But there are others who are and I wish them the best.
 

goosehazel

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I was 27 when we got married. Had I met Brent when I was 20, I would have married him then. If you're ready, then do it. It's your life, do what makes you happy. Don't worry about pleasing anyone else because then you'll never end up pleasing yourself.
 

mooficat

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I was 26 when we married, the age thing never entered my mind, it was what we wanted to do. After reading this thread, and reflecting back, I think 26 seems so young, BUT not young to be married, I just mean we have learnt so much together and I guess thats what its about, growing up together. I dont have kids and all I got for the 1st 10 yrs of marriage was - why dont you want kids, its wrong, dont leave it too late BLAH; BLAH; BLAH; I didnt want kids (still dont) that was my decision. And your decision is yours and you will lead your life as best as you can.

You gotta do what you feel is right for YOU !!
 
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lionessrampant

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Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I didn't mean so much as settling down, cause I know that I'll probably never settle down
but what I want from life is very different than what I wanted at 21, or even 24, cat insanity being one of them
Some people can work through the changes, my ex and I couldn't, his changes basically changed him into someone I didn't know, and didn't really care to know either
Awww, Katie!
 

kittylover4ever

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I was 19 the first time and wayyy to young. I was 37 this last time and it's been the best!!!
 

katiemae1277

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Originally Posted by lionessrampant

Awww, Katie!
it was really for the best, I'm happier now then I ever was with him, even at our best
I actually just heard that he and his new GF are getting engaged, 3rd time's the charm I hope for him. Stung a little, but she can definitely have him! still miss my step-daughter though
 

lovinmom828

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Dont worry to much about what others think its your life and if you are ready i say go for it. I was only 19 when i got married and we are still happy together. been together a total of 7 years and married 5 years on Aug 25 th of this year. Some people just meet the one thats right for them before others dont mean you should miss out just beacuse others think you are too young follow your heart not others Opinions on your age.
 
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