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I'm going to scream if.... - Page 2

post #31 of 47
I am not married, but I don't think (at 25) that I would be too young, its just not the right time for us right now.

My mum and dad were 18 when they got married and were happy together until the day he passed away... and to be honest, the whole 'you are too young' thing doesn't work out if you are living together anyway. You can claim rights as a wife after 2-3 years depending on where you live if you are common law (yes its harder, but possible), so if you have already settled down together, and have enough sense and a strong enough bond to work through problems, you are obviously old enough to get married
post #32 of 47
"Mama always said life is like a box of chocolates...
ya never know what cha gonna get"

its so true!

Anyways. My mom married at 19 (she was pregnant with me and thought my dad and her were gonna be this glorious family) she divorced two years later. Her marriage got off on the wrong foot. She dated here and there while I was growing up but never found anyone she wanted to make that commitment to until last year. 18 and a half years later!!!!!
It was worth it for her...sometimes true love isnt always easy to find.

Moral of the story.
Dont get married to hopes and dreams..marry someone who is making your dreams a reality.
if that means waiting a few years to see them happen then it means waiting. If this man is completing you and your buliding a strong future already...the love is everlasting....DO IT! start making those wedding plans..sometimes weddings can take two years to plan and pay for. Nothing wrong with that.
post #33 of 47
I was 28, but we had been living together for 5 years prior. A good friend of mine got married when she was 16 and he was 19. Almost 15 years and 3 kids later (the first kid didn't come for 7 years after the wedding, though everyone was sure she was pregnant), they are still happy together. Then you also meet those who got married at 35 and divorced at 36. It's about individuals and how they work together as a team, not about age.

Allie, just reading what you've written in this thread tells me that you and Ian are better prepared for marriage than 80-90% of the couples who get married. You know that you are both going to evolve and change, and when you love someone you love the person that they are now, were before, and will become. You know that life throws a heck of a lot of curveballs, and you have to be able to adapt to those changes, too. The only constant in life is change.
post #34 of 47
I was 27 he was 36, we had been together for 8 years before we got married! We could have went longer and I know what you mean about getting sick of people pushing their opinion on you! I heard so many times, "when are you guys getting married???" and after we got married it's now, "when are the kids coming?" Just Irks me!!

Do it when you and him are ready and do it for the right reasons! You guys will know!
post #35 of 47
They're just jealous that you found someone to be with already.

As long as you didn't have it mapped out "I will be married by age X" then, to me you're getting married for the right reasons and the age doesn't matter.

I do think its rude though. weddings are suppose to be happy, not some terd raining on your happiness.
post #36 of 47
Sorry if this is brief but my kitten is being a right royal PITA at the moment and won't let me type!

Your chronological age does not matter. I do think that maturity, or 'wisdom' matters to an extent. Just because I think you have to know and be comfortable with yourself above all, before committing to another, and that comes at different ages for everyone.

I got married recently at age 35, and I would not have been ready for it before then, although I am happier now than I ever have been.

My parents on the other hand, married when they were 20, and have now been together for 38 years - they have been through some hard times together, but stuck with it and are still very much in love.

It's an individual thing - only you know yourself to the extent that you can say whether it's right or not.
post #37 of 47
People suck sometimes and they should mind their own damn business. Who really cares when you get married, it is not affecting anyone else but you. Tell them to fly a kite
post #38 of 47
I'm definitely the odd-ball in my family because i'm not married yet. Everyone thinks there's something wrong with me because i'm 21 and not married yet. The thing is, I really do wish to get married and settle down- i'm just not going to push Colin in to it- I want it to happen when both of us are ready- i am, i'm just waiting on him/ Just about everyone in my family gets married between 17-19yrs...and many of them have been happily married 10+ years- I think marriage can work at a young age- I think the key to any good relationship is good communicaiton.
post #39 of 47
35 and i was way to young to get married
post #40 of 47
I don't think anyone is too young to get married. If you are serious about making a life long commitment to someone else and are truly happy together then I say go for it!
post #41 of 47
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
People suck sometimes and they should mind their own damn business. Who really cares when you get married, it is not affecting anyone else but you. Tell them to fly a kite
I agree with Natalie!

I'm not married, but I don't think anyone has the right to tell you when your ready. Its your life, you know when your ready, nobody else knows that but you!

post #42 of 47
Originally Posted by sharky View Post
You are well educated , well spoken and quite mature in my humble opinion... You have been with Ian for awhile and if you feel ready for marriage GO FOR IT....

Me I doubt I will ever be married
post #43 of 47
I was 16 and my ex was 22, the first time I got married. That WAS too young. During our 3-year marriage, I grew up and he didn't. Been divorced for almost 30 years and from what I hear, he STILL hasn't grown up
post #44 of 47
I was 24 and he was 26. What I'm about to say doesn't mean I love my husband less, but I feel I rushed into getting married. I think it would have been better if we would have waited another year or two, and gotten on our feet. Yet, when you love someone nothing can really hold you back from wanting to marry that person. Go for it!
post #45 of 47
People think I'm too young to be getting married. I will be 20 and my fiance will be 18. We are planning on getting married in 2007. Her parents don't know and neither do mine, but they'll know by the time we get married. My family will hate the marriage because they hate my fiance, and her parents will not be happy because she is too young. No matter what they say, we are getting married anyway. We've been together for 3 years and engaged for a year. When we get married we'll have been engaged for 2 years.

The way I see it, its all up to you. You can't let others tell you whats best for you. Sometimes, only you know. My fiance and I know we want to spend the rest of our lives together. If years down the road, it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. We get over it and grow up a little bit more. But after all my fiance and I have been through, I think we will spend many many years together. I'm getting married at the age of 20 and my fiance will be 18 and a half. I can't say things won't be difficult and that we'll have to make many sacrifices, but I do know that we are willing to work through all of that to be together.
post #46 of 47
I hope noone hates me for this but........

My first marriage I was only 19,, almost 20 when I got married..It lasted about 6 years, and we just grew apart. I thought I loved him,, but he had alot of growing to do too...

My second marriage,, we meet when I was 27,, and we have one child, and have been together for 5 years.... I love my husband very very much... So I'm glad my first marriae didn't work.. But if I could do it over again.. I would had never gotten married so young... I'm still paying for the repercussions...
post #47 of 47
I got married at 23, and plenty of people had their opinions...that's just how people are when the word Married gets into the conversation. You're so young, you really want those bridesmaid dresses, I would have wanted a different train, you really like those flowers, the cake is so simple, the cake is too ornate...and the list goes on. Complete strangers all the sudden feel like they can (and should) impart words of "wisdom" to you regardless of whether you asked for it. I don't think I will ever experience that kind of intimacy of strangers until I am pregnant (and everyone wants to touch my belly) which is going to be a long time from now!

The people that knew my now husband and I were supportive and happy for us. The only thing I ever got was the "well I want to wait until my bf proves himself and we both are financially independant." Which I respect, I just didn't have any desire to do it alone when I had the choice to make it with my husband. Just my opinion.

The only rude experience I have had was after we got married...I was at a hair dresser's and she said to me (with a very rude tone), "You are so young, why on earth would you get married?" I smiled, told her that sometimes in life you just know the decisions you are making are the right decisions for you, and I have never been back there.

Just do what you know in your gut is right for you.
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