Am I being cruel?

Hi,

Im desperately after some advice

Some of you may know I lost my cat 2 weeks ago, and have recently become a new owner to my lovely border collie dog. Id decided not to get another cat, as my previous one had been killed in a traffic accident.

Anyway, my longing for a new furbaby gets stronger every day, I cant cope not having a cat for company. I saw an ad in my local newspaper tonight, for a cat, similar to my Lucy. Im due to go an visit it tomorrow. What I want to know is, am I being cruel? Will the cat get on with the dog (breeder has a border collie too, and my dog likes cats) Do they pinch each others food? And my main concern, 'what if it happens again' I really need some advice, as I just dont know what to do, but I really want this cat My husband is very cross with me, but will let me have a cat to 'keep the peace' The kids are over the moon about the idea (we always discuss these things with our children)


Please help!!

Neesey,

Unfortunately I do not have the cat/dog experience to advise you as to whether they will get along or not. I can imagine that if you get it, regardless of whether you had a cat or a dog at home, there will definately be an adaption period. From what I've seen, many households have cats and dogs and they all seem to get along fine. (I believe that all comes together in time)

Just know that if the longing is that strong in your heart, follow it.

Hopefully you will get better advice than mine from other.

Good luck.

I agree - follow your heart! I also don't have experience with cats/dogs together, but have read many wonderful stories about them getting along just fine.

A friend just got married. He has two eight year old kitties. His wife has a large spaniel. There was a lot of hissing at first, but with supervision, they all ended up getting along just fine. He says they sleep together now. If you have the will, there is a way!

And as to losing your previous kitty due to a car accident - so sorry to hear it. But as the saying goes, better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. Make the kitty an indoor-only cat and that won't ever be a problem.

Good Luck!

Denice, you know better than any of us if you are ready for this. I also don't have any personal cat & dog experience, but I would think that it would be better now when they are both little, and generally don't know any better that they should be "enemies." They will be growing up together, and especially if both have been around cats/dogs before you shouldn't have too many problems. I don't know if it is possible, but perhaps keeping kitty inside, except for supervised-on-harness walks would ease your mind about keeping her safe. Cats really can be very happy as indoor-only pets. I have two that can attest to that.

I have five cats and have had 5 foster dogs (not at the same time!!). The cats learn to accept the dogs. It takes some adjustment time. I have one cat who DOES NOT like dogs, but even she relaxes after awhile and we just have to make sure none of the dogs get to close. She has killer claws.
My suggestion for it 'not to happen again' is to keep your new kitty inside. I've lost too many cats to the wild outdoors and keep mine inside. They really don't mind. There is only one who ever wants out and I think it's because the dog gets to go out so she want to too.

Everyone is right, follow your heart. Best of luck!

We had Skipper the border collie for a while before we got Socks the cat, but they get along like buddies. We use a baby gate to keep Skip out of Socks' room, and as long as Socks has that degree of privacy, she's fine. As long as you give them both about the same degree of attention, neither really gets mad. Skipper is about four months older than Socks, but they were 'raised' together and don't seem to mind eachother's company (but when Socks gets angry, she hangs off Skippy's ears. He's the most tolerant dog. He just stands there until she's finished giving him her 'lecture'.) Sometimes we feel that Skipper feels jealous of Socks, so we just play a few games of Tug A Rope with him and he's fine.
And no, you're not being creul. Filling your house with love for other creatures cannot be creul.

-Jenn

Thanks all of you, from the bottom of my heart

I have just one more question. How do I keep a cat indoors? Does an indoor cat ever want to go out?

The litter tray doesnt bother me, Ive been cleaning up poo for 9 years now!

I dont mind keeping her in, as I dont want her to have kittens, but my door is open all the time for the children, and Id hate to have to confine her to one room (we have a small home, and 4 kids)

I knew Id kept hold of Lucy's old things for a reason

I feel in my heart this is the correct way to go. I will keep you posted, and if I do come home with her, I shall get a picture up right away!

Shes 8 weeks old, and I think I may call her 'Cindy'. Any other suggestions for a name?

Neesey xx

I'm not the most knowlegable person here, but we keep Socks indoors. She gets out once in a while but is quite often so scared of being outdoors by herself, she runs right back inside. If you do want to take your cat outside, you could buy her a harness and a leash and take her out for supervised "walks". We used to do that with Socks but she didn't much care for her harness.

My mother-in-law has had both cats and dogs all while my husband was growing up and from what I've seen and heard they all get along just fine after they are introduced. There will be some fighting or "getting to know each other" period.

As far as keeping your cat indoors, make sure ALL of your kids understand that she is an indoor kitty only and that they must close the door behind themselves and not to leave it open. Hopefully, this way there won't be a chance of her ever getting loose. Also, as a side note, just incase she ever would happen to get outside accidently, make sure that she has had all of her shots and has been spayed. You probably already know all of this, but it just makes me feel better to say it.

Let us know what you name your new kitty!

Just been chatting to hubby. I never had much love as a child growing up, and never had the nice things I provide for my children
He says its an effect from my childhood, that I desperately need to give love, and in turn receive it. I guess he's right, (He usually is!) Id be a mess if I were ever alone.

Anyway, Id rather be praised for giving a cat a good home, rather than her going to a bad home, and being abused

She will be going to the vets ASAP for her jabs, and I will be getting her spayed too


I think im doing the right thing

My dog and my kitties get along great! When we first got our dog, our cats were terrified of him! We've had our dog for 2 years now, and the kitties love to sleep with him!

I second what Spooky said. Be sure the kids know that she is to stay inside. With my two, they have been kept inside all their lives and they make no moves to go outside. We obviously don't leave the door wide open, but we can unload groceries and such without worrying about them bolting. They are allowed outside on the balcony (we live on a second floor apartment), and they knew at the last place which door they were allowed out of. I'm sure they will figure it out at the new one, too, that they can go outside with us through only one door. It will take consistency from everyone in the house, but she should soon figure out that she is supposed to stay inside.

The kids will just have to get used to watching the door so that the cat doesn't get out. Some have more of an interest than others in the outside world. The new dog is a puppy, so I don't see any problem with the 2 getting along. A friend of mine got a yellow lab about a year ago, and her 2 cats (both over 10 years old) have adjusted.

I think it's just wonderful that you will have a cat and a dog. And Neesey, this means you'll stay here?

Our two indoor kitties were born feral of a feral mom. The first one, Lazlo, cried a for day or so to go out. We took him on a lead and he escaped. He ran to his outdoor "home" where we found him. It took the better part of a day to capture him back, but after that (his family still wasn't there) he's never shown any interest in going outside. The second kitty we brought in, Sheldon (Laz's brother), provided a great companion to Lazlo and has not shown any interest in being out.

We spent the first few weeks "sneaking" in and out, opening the door slowly, leaving the screen in place to make sure they weren't next to the door ready to bolt out. They never were. We don't leave the door completely open ever because just out of curiousity they might wander out - but they sure don't seem to miss being outside. And as all who read the feral forum know, it was a tough decision for us to make to bring them in because we live in a Motor Home (an R.V.) - which has 210 sq. ft. of living space (not including the lots of vertical space for the kitties!). We just make sure to play with them a lot, that way they get enough exercise despite the small space.

While they love looking out the windows from the back of the couch, they sure seem happy inside - and they spent their first two months of life outside. If you want your kitty to be an indoor kitty, with a little help of hubby & kids, I'm sure it's possible!

Denice—
I am truly sorry for your loss. You sound like a wonderful furbaby mommy! I think you are making the right decision, too.

Kim

P.S. Regarding indoor kitty's—I have 4...you may want to consider an outdoor enclosure down the road. This link will show you my happy boysSafe Cat Enclosures

I have two cats and a dog. Opie, the adult cat is MUCH too dignified, to play with that big, clumsy oaf. Rowdy, on the other hand, is six months old and SHE thinks that Ike is a big kitty toy. The cats make the rules and the dog observes them. The few times that he has crossed the line, he's gotten his nose lightly scratched.

My cats always stay inside. Opie has shown no interest in going out. If he's at the screen door and one of us opens it, he heads for the living room. Rowdy thinks that she wants to go out and we have to be careful, if she's in the vicinity of the door. She has slipped through our legs, a few times but never goes further than the patio and has been caught and put back in.

BTW: I think "Cindy" is a WONDERFUL name!

Denise - I'm so pleased you've gone with your instinct and chosen the kitty route again.

As everyone has said, the indoor cat solution is probably the answer to preventing RTAs.

My cats are strictly indoor when I am not home. But they are allowed into the back garden when I go out there. They have been 'trained' from kittens that they are not to go beyond the boundaries. Mostly they do observe this.

I do need to watch them alot though. The harness and long lead is a good idea to get kitty used to the boundaries - again, do take care - they can get tangled.

Good luck m'dear and hopefully you'll now keep coming back and telling us how things are progressing?

I have explained to the children about keeping her inside, and they do understand

Im sooooo excited about seeing her later

Im going to the pet shop in a bit, to buy back her bowls, and get some food! Luckily I kept all Lucy's other bits

Will check back later, hopefully with some fab news for you all!

And yes, I AM STAYING HERE!!!

Lots of love, hope you all have as good a day as Im going to have!

Denise xx

Neesey - can't wait!!!

Let us know as soon as you've got little Cindy . . .

I take it, you must be Cindy too!

My daughters wanted to call the kitten Barbie! (Wonder why?) So we decided on Sindy, as I thought Barbie was a bit silly! I then changed the S to a C, so people wouldnt think Id named her after a dolly!

I may change my mind after Ive met her. Shes a silver grey tabby, just like Lucy, although I wont think of her as 'Lucy'.