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How did you know the time was right!??

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
To say those 3 big words in a new relationship??? I've just gotten into a new relationship (about 7 weeks) and things have been going great. I enjoy spending time with him, and miss him when he's not there. I think he feels the same way...at least i hope he does. My problem is that i'm a little insecure due to past relationships. My last biggie relationship ended unexpectedly (i totally didn't see it coming and it) and very painfully and that leaves me a little wary and a bit nervous.

I guess i'm hoping you guys have some advice to help me out. I would love to say it, but how do you know it's the right time? How did you guys know the time was right??
post #2 of 24
Honestly? I waited for him to say it first I'm a wimp!! Glad your relationship is going so well!
post #3 of 24
The last time I said it I paid a big price and lost him. It's almost like negotiating a salary - the person who speaks first loses. At least in my mind, but then again, I've been single a long, long time.

In my past relationships (the ones that lasted any length of time) I waited for him to say it first. After my last fiasco, I wish I'd kept my mouth shut.

But that's just me - I think the important thing is to always be honest with yourself and express how you feel. To your girlfriends.
post #4 of 24
I said it first, after he had dumped me (pathetic...yeah I know). It came in the form of verbal diahrea when he came to make sure I was ok one night (we had broken up that week) after I had a fall off my horse at a horse show.

But now we are married and he is absolutely the best man on the planet (and did, eventually say the 3 words, rather emphatically). We dated on and off in college, were best friends first, and eventually grew up enough to stay together without the drama. After 4 years of dating and 5 years of being best friends we got married. Been married for a year and change, and we both have never been happier!

My point is that no matter who says it first or who doesn't say it back, whatever is meant to be will be. There is an abundance of second chances in this world, and nothing is final.
post #5 of 24
My husband said it first by accident when we were watching t.v. one day!
post #6 of 24
I said it first to Lee. But he immediately said it bback. And we had only been dating 3 weeks! You will just know when the time is right!
post #7 of 24
dh said it after going out for 1 week..lol and then I said it to him...we have been together ever since
post #8 of 24
My dear husband told me first.. after we were going out for a month.. Then he proposed to me out of no where.. It was all unoffical like,, no ring,, just said he loved me and wanted to marry me..

Been maried for 5 years, and have a 4 year old daughter... Veryyy happy!
post #9 of 24
DH said "I think I'm in love with you." Then fell asleep. This has been a theme in our relationship. My marriage preposal went like this, "Let's get married." Me, "Okay." Then he fell asleep again. He makes most of his major decisions when sleeping.
post #10 of 24
lol she was saying i love you months before i said it.
In my case i was trying to see in my mind if i loved her, or if i was still dealing with the death of my gf of 5 years.

how i still love connie, she is gone, and she would have kicked my butt if sat around and refused to live. i loved itta very much, and cared soooo much about her. how could i not say it back
post #11 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
DH said "I think I'm in love with you." Then fell asleep. This has been a theme in our relationship. My marriage preposal went like this, "Let's get married." Me, "Okay." Then he fell asleep again. He makes most of his major decisions when sleeping.
Therein you have discovered a major thing about cats; they too seem to make their important decisions while sleeping, something I have observed for quite some time now.
post #12 of 24
My husband and I met online, so we knew each other about three weeks before our first date. We didn't really expect it to be a love connection, but we knew at very least we'd get along great as friends. Well... it was a love connection. I swear we had those little twinkles in our eyes like Davy Jones on the Monkees. That first date lasted about 24 hours.

Since we were long distance (Northeast Pennsylvania & Baltimore, Maryland), we could only see each other on weekends. The week between the first and second date, we discussed our feelings for each other, but didn't want to "say" the L-Word online or on the phone. So the next weekend, we said it. I think I was a second or so quicker than he was. Or maybe I just caught my breath first after our hello-kiss.

We'll be married five years this Thursday.
post #13 of 24
Thread Starter 
wow...thanks guys for responding.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to do...it's driving me a little nuts. Things are pretty stressful for both of us right now...maybe i should just hold off.

or...maybe i'm just a big chicken!
post #14 of 24
Its a big step, thats for sure!

John & I were together about... a month when we said it. He bought me my promise ring, and the next day I wanted to say it, so we were together, and I was just about to say I love you - and he looked at me and said it first! We've been together ever since! (almost 2 years!)
post #15 of 24
Thread Starter 
Well...we've been together a bit longer then that. I guess about 6 weeks or so now. I guess with my history i'm a little gun-shy to say anything.

Is it possible to wait too long? Is he waiting for me to say it?
post #16 of 24
Jerry and I met online........and if my old memory serves me right, he told me about our 4th date.........
post #17 of 24
Me and My hubby started out as friends and just hung out so much that one night he asked me does this mean we are going out now? He says I sure hope so i have loved you for a long time and been to afaid to say so. I melted and said i would love to go out with you and said the L word right back. And we have been together 7 years now married for 5 of them years and still Happy.
post #18 of 24
You don't... I just happens
post #19 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renny View Post
Well...we've been together a bit longer then that. I guess about 6 weeks or so now. I guess with my history i'm a little gun-shy to say anything.

Is it possible to wait too long? Is he waiting for me to say it?
I think it is definately possible to wait too long, but at only 6 weeks into the relationship, I think you have a pretty good buffer zone left. I would say "it" soon if you are certain, ready, and fairly sure he would be receptive. You need to be ready for him to NOT say it back however. Even if the feelings are there, it might be too early for him to enter into that level of commitment. If you are able to accept that he might not yet feel the same way, or tell you if he does, then I would tell him. Love is such a wonderful feeling, you should not have to hold it inside from fear....
post #20 of 24
You will know when to say it...It will feel right and it will just come out. IMO you shouldn't plan when to say it...your heart will tell you

One of my exes who i still adore...I told him by accident..I was leaving his house one night, and I just said I'll see you tomorrow..I love you..and we looked at eachother and we knew...it just came out by accident but it was true and I meant it..It was very romantic..

It will come out Renny, just let it come out when you're ready..
post #21 of 24
I knew I loved Amber after about 2 weeks. I wasnt going to tell her though because she made it clear she didnt want to rush anything. About 8 weeks in the relationship I let it slip on accident. I think it shocked me more then it shocked her. She didnt tell me she loved me until we had the car wreck and I was in the hospital.
post #22 of 24
It kinda just slipped out when Colin and I were having an argument and talking about ending it. I didn't even realize I had felt that way until I said it- then we were both like "wow" we really love each other- we made up immediately and well..it's worked out / You just know when it's right
post #23 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone! I knew i could count on you all for wonderful words of advice. I know how I feel...and i'll just have to take that leap one day soon. Maybe when things calm down and we have a little more alone time. I just don't want to scare him away...and I think I could almost accept him not saying it back right away....but i don't know if I could go on indefinitely if he didn't feel the same way back.
post #24 of 24
Well you are going to feel how you feel whether you say it or not, so I say go for it whenever you get that urge to say it!

If he doesn't feel the same way, it is going to surface eventually regardless of who says what.
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