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How do you break the news that a kitten given up for adoption died?!?

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I will see Inchy's original owner tomorrow. He was one of the kittens she gave up, that she really really wanted to keep. All the kittens and cats were very special to her, but Inchy was even more special. I did not call her to let her know of Inchy's passing, because I didn't want her to learn in a phone call. So tomorrow I will see her, and she has no idea. And I have no clue how I will give her the news, that her special little boy is gone!

Does anyone have any ideas on how to soften the blow? I think I will print out the Rainbow Bridge forum post that I made...but I just know she will be heartbroken!
post #2 of 10
When BB passed I was so distraught that the first person I called was his breeder (she lives in Ireland!). I'd completely forgotten about the time difference and woke her up at 3am! She (the breeder) was upset but was so sweet though and that it made me feel worse! She had known that BB was having medical problems but didn't know that he'd gotten worse...for the next couple of days I kept on receiving text messages from her consoling me and not putting me at fault.

Stress not, have faith. All will be well I'm sure...
post #3 of 10
Printing out the forum as well as the poem and giving that to her would be a wonderful thing.

When Sebastian passed on, my neighborhood dog, we did a writeup on him and gave to his owner. I understand that she and the kids were thrilled that someone cared enough about Sebastian to do that.

I think that would be very nice.
post #4 of 10
I've very sorry to hear about your loss of Inchy.

When my kitty Moon-Pie died many years ago, a friend left a candle and a heart charm on my doorstep. I put the charm on a chain and wore it for a long time (I still have it fifteen years later), and I'd light the candle for Moon-Pie and both things comforted me immensely.

There's no easy way to do this; good luck.
post #5 of 10
I don't know if there is a nice way to tell someone that. I know you were distraught by the loss of Inchy, so I trust that when you tell her, it will be a truly heartfelt I'm sorry & she will at least not be alone in her greiving. Explain that he was happy, what a wonderful kitty Inchy was, & how much you loved him too.
post #6 of 10
I think the post, and if you think it would help, the responses you got, wishing Inchy well on his way to RB, might be nice for her.

Do you know anything more about her? Do you two share a faith? If so, maybe you could get a candle or (if Catholic, medal of St. Francis of Assisi, for example) and have it blessed by a priest/rabbi/minister/etc. of that faith.

Or maybe give her a candle or a little pot of forget me nots?

You will both be in my thoughts tomorrow.
post #7 of 10
Honestly, let her know before she gets there. Call her and very, very gently tell her that there is something she should know before she comes in tomorrow. Then go on to very gently explain what happend to little Inchy, and that you are very sorry there is nothing more that could have been done to save the little one. Let her know that in the short time she was with the kitten, that the kitten knew it was very loved and cherrished and had a wonderful short little life. The go on to tell her that every kitty should be so lucky to have that much love in their life- let her know that her kindness towards that kitten really made a difference. Let her know that just like Inchy, there are many other kittens out there who need the same kind of love and attention....if she seems up to it, maybe even recommend that she help give another special kitten a wonderful home. (That's what the other little kitten would want)(let her prepare herself sweetie- it would be worse if she came in tomorrow all excited, and found out when she got there.) / Please show her the RB forum and let her know that everyone's thoughts and prayers are with her through this difficult time- also, encourage her to post about her loss if she thinks it will help her on TCS The support network here is wonderful!
post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the great ideas. She still has all her adult cats, and will be getting Piglet and Eeyore when she is able to care for them. She is not in a position to get another kitten, or she would surely have kept Inchy, or one of her other lovely kittens.

I am afraid to tell her on the phone, because she will be so sad. But she is not expecting to see the kitties tomorrow, just for the two of us to chat. I will print the bridge story, and all the lovely posts for her. And just having everyone keep her in their thoughts will be a big support.

Poor little kitty, I'm sorry he didn't have a longer life. He was truly such a sweetheart with his little inch long tail.
post #9 of 10
it will be ok tomorrow
post #10 of 10
That will be really hard..Just let it come from your heart.

Good luck
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