Venting

I LOVE this site, but I have so much anger for the lose of the babies I tried to save!! I'm trying to rationalize all this, but sometimes I get so MAD and depressed because I couldn't do more! My emotions are all mixed up, damned if I do and damned if I don't! Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like a yo-yo sometimes!! My heart tells me one thing and my head another! I don't ever want to turn into a heartless
uncaring person! Is there such a thing as "burn out"? I am so tired
of "death"..... It never ends.

Sorry but I need to "vent" to somebody. I don't feel sorry for myself,
I feel sorry for all the babies I couldn't save. It's all those "what ifs".

"burn out" does occur. Try as we can, they all can't be saved. You may need to just step back for a little while, then come back when you are ready.

Barb,

It happens a lot for me as well. When I lose one, I think to myself, why did I even bother? Or sometimes I say to myself, just what kind of cat rescuer am I? But the reality of it is that even for just a little while, we have the wonderful opportunity to give a feral kitty love, comfort, food on a regular basis, and you save these kittens from a life of running scared and hiding, learning to distrust humans and so for that reason alone, it is worth it. The ones you do save are the badges you wear on your sleeve with a smile, and the ones who leave are the badges that darken your heart for a time. If you have to , just step back and take a breather, though I know that more are coming to you as I type. It is just the way of it. I gave Shredder years he didn't have before me and he gave me so much in return. Hugs((((((((()))))))))))

Barb. I think that anger is a natural part of the grieving process. It shows me just how much you loved there little ones.

Barb, I'm thinking about what would have happened if it hadn't been for you, and those thoughts are not pleasant. If you need a break, take one, rather than give up. You are like an angel to the babies you've saved. Try to remember that when you get down. You're not responsible for not being able to save all of the strays and ferals. Circumstances and irresponsible people are. You're the hero in this scenario!

Thanks for all the support! I get so upset trying to do my best, with
the little knowledge I know about taking care of baby kittens. That's what hurts, I don't know everything. There is nothing more satifying
than holding a baby in your hands looking for you to take care of it.
The nestling, the purring, and the kneeding. I feel so darn hopeless
sometimes!! If we had the money I would get every feral and stray
fixed. Why do people think because we live in the country this is a "dump off site"? I've seen people driving by trying to run over a cat!! How sick! I'll never give up I quess, but it is very heartbreaking when the babies die when you fight so hard to save them. I've held each kitten so it wouldn't die alone. I'm holding them and talking to them, and they still purr, even in death. That is the most heartbreaking of all.

Barb, Do you know how to tube feed? It's not terribly difficult, and might save some of those little ones. I'm sure a breeder or vet tech would be glad to teach you. Of course you do that when they can't nurse or need a boost, not just to save time. The natural way or a bottle is better, but sometimes not possible.

Barb....Thank God for Angels like you (and Hissy and everyone else who does what they can) here on Earth for the little kitties.

No matter where they end up, they've been held by an Angel, what more could they have asked for?

I have never been in the situations each of you have. My heart aches for your loses and cheers for your success stories.

Carry on.....job well done!

Barb, take care of yourself and try to avoid the burn-out.

Jeanie G.

I have seen sites about tube feeding kittens. At the time I didn't
think to ask my vet about it. I thought I could never do the sub-q's,
but I can. I'll make sure if the need arises again that I learn how.
Thank you for reminding me of that!!

Whisker's mom,

Thank you for the compliment. It makes this all the "easier" to deal with when you have friends that support and feel your pain when the babies don't make it. And I do take things to "personal" and blame myself. I know God has a reason for all this, and He won't give you more than you can handle. Thank you again.