News about the baby (Amber)

I don't think its right or wrong for Brooke to want to be there Debby. Its YOUR choice, you are the one who is going to be in labor. So if YOU want her there, good, if you don't then don't. Your husband shouldn't have a say since he's just going to be coaching you, and its not actually him that will be in pain.

As far as him being squeemish. Well, David didn't want to "look" either, I don't think most men actually look. But his being there for support and comfort is the most important thing. And its a moment that you and he will cherish forever. I can still remember the split second after each of my babies were born where my husband and I made eye contact. It was like there was nothing else in this world except he and I. Its a look I'll remember till I die, and I hope you and your husband are able to experience that as well. Mine is embedded in my brain, I think of it everytime we disagree and it makes me forget whatever it is we are arguing about and remember how much I love him.

Having a baby is a miracle in itself, but hopefully it will make your marriage stronger as well.

Most guys are squeamish. They, also can't handle seeing someone they care about, in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

Its, probably, a good thing that Bill and I can't have any babies. He gets all upset when I get a migraine. I can imagine him going through labor and delivery!

Daniela, that was so sweet!! You almost brought tears to my eyes!! I hope it is like that for hubby and I when she is born!!! I know he loves me, and I am sure all fighting will be gone once we see her sweet face.

Debby, my husband is extremely squeamish when it comes to hospitals. When our son was born he really surprised me. We had agreed that he would stay with me in the labor room and then go out to the waiting room when I was moved into delivery. I had complications during labor which resulted in an emergency c-section (I hope I'm not scaring you), and my husband completely suprised me when he continued to stay right by my side and help me even then. When I was moved into surgery he went into the surgical observation area to watch the c-section being performed (another surprise). My husband was so worried about me and the baby that he completely forgot about himself. Maybe your husband will do something that surprises you in a nice way after you have been induced. Good luck!!!

I hope so Lorie!! Sometimes those men can surprise us!!

Debby, I am sure he will fall in love with you all over again once he sees Amber being born. It connects you two in a way that is only possible when you have a child together.

My husband came in the OperatingRoom with me for both of my csections. He sat right by my head and held my hand. He stroked my face and wiped away my tears ( I was scared, and having discomfort ) and he never once thought of himself. He was wonderful, I couldn't have made it thru without him. I know you'll feel the same way after delivery. He'll come thru for you Debby, with flying colors I am sure!!

Men can be jerks sometimes, but they come thru when you need them the most.

Thanks Daniela!!! I REALLY needed to hear that!!! I feel alot better about things now!!!! Thank you!!!

Well....I am probably going to have alot of mothers shaking their heads at me for telling my side but...I have to.

When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest, the first picture that popped into my head was the delivery day with my husband by my side and both of us bonding over what was to be the most beautiful moment in our lives. This image in my head was not to occur.

My husband was deathly afraid of being anywhere near the hospital while the delivery occured. I did balk at this the first week and then I gradually mellowed out and accepted that he would not be in the room with me. I had many people say "How can you accept this??" My answer was always: "It's his choice and, do I really want him in there knowing he does not want to be there?".

On the day I was induced, hubby went to work like if it was a normal day. Apparently the guys sat around the table with the phone in the middle, waiting for the call. (which did not occur until 32 hours later!!!!)

Don't get me wrong. I would have much preferred having him by my side. It would have been a wonderful thing.

He also stayed away when our second was born, again....waiting for the call that "all was okay".

To this day, he is the most attentive father and husband. He cherishes his boys and would die for them. To me....that was/is the most important thing.

Debby, if hubby does chose not to be there, try to look past it because you will end up resenting that forever. Hopefully, he will be by your side but the real important thing here is that he is there for Amber and you for years to come.

BTW: Daniela, I do envy what you and your hubby lived through. Had I had the opportunity to have hubby by my side, that's exactly what I dreamed would happen.

Well, I understand its every mans choice. Obviously you can't force him to be in the room. And I am sure your husband Ghys is very attentive. I surely don't believe that if a father is NOT present that that in any way means they aren't a good father. That would be insane.

Having said that though, I think its a beautiful experience to have w/ your spouse. I think its a moment in time that you can cherish forever. My husband is a 'manly' sort of guy, not the type to cry or show emotion. Well, he cried at both of our childrens births and I felt totally honored. To know that me having his child caused him to shed tears was so moving. I ran that scene over and over in my head, and to this day I still sometimes think of it.

Whatever your husband chooses Debby, accept it for what it is. He may not be the "in the delivery room" type of guy, but I am sure he'll be a fabulous daddy no matter where he is during the birth.

And Ghys, I am sure you still have wonderful memories of the births even if he wasn't present. And if he was sitting by the phone, that shows he did care!!

Debby - I just came by to see what's going on, and I hope I haven't missed you today! I wish you good luck and I'll be praying for a quick and easy delivery for you. You'll do great! It is hard, but I know you can do it. I was induced with my second, and it went FAST! Hopefully yours will too. I bet you'll be able to sleep this evening because the start of labor is pretty slow and not so painful. My doctor was wonderful enough to give me an epidural when he started the pitocin. I'd ask yours, if I were you.

Anyway, I'll be thinking of you and I can't wait to hear the news that you've had Amber all safe and sound. Good Luck!!

*sigh* I always thought my hubby was the "strong" one in our family. I now know that had he been in the room by my side, I may have had to be the one supporting him. I can almost picture him out cold on the floor :LOL:

I do pick at him all the time about this. I learnt to laugh about the situation instead of turning it into one where I'd resent him for not wanting to be by my side. I'll say "Thank God the phone didn't go dead because you'd have met your son only after the whole family did!"

For Nicolas, he was a little bit closer. He had Steven with him to support him and they both held Nicolas moments after he arrived. For me, the memory I have is of both him and Steven walking into the case room to meet their new son/brother. My coach ran out to call them when I started into the pushing stage.

Daniela, you succeeded, I did end up with tears in my eyes. Your husband sounds wonderful. I can almost visualise the two of you. (I've seen your picture so it makes it a little bit easy!!!!)

Thanks Ghys for your kind words. Yes, my hubby is wonderful. He is my soulmate.

Oh my gosh Debby.....I am getting so nervous for you! I have no clue what the time difference is between us but I do know, the time is much closer now!!! You may already be on the way........

Good luck! Good luck! Good luck!

(geesh...I don't know why I am this excited, but I am!!!! )

Debby,
Its so exciting. I can't wait to see pictures. You will do just fine. Your picture shows you to be a beautiful lady and I'm sure Amber will be just as beautiful. Will keep you and Amber in my thoughts and prayers.

Sweetling your husband is being a jerk but I don't see how he could continue that way when your tiny rainbow is born. Will cross my fingers that he has an "attitude adjustment".
Blessed be.


Deecat
Mom to Jessie, Nikkie, Luckie, Lady & Sammy

Thanks everyone! I have really enjoyed reading these posts!! I have 17 1/2 hours left until I am induced. (If I counted right.) It is 11:35 pm here now...and I will be induced tomorrow evening at 5:00 pm.

I really thought I was going into labor earlier tonight..I had really bad pain for about 4 hours or so,(about every 15 min.) but it seems to have let up, so I guess not.

Fingers AND toes crossed, for you, Debby. I wouldn't allow my first husband in the delivery room. That macho biker was the biggest baby, you ever saw. Two drops of blood and he was on the floor! I figured that they'd have their hands full, with the baby and me - didn't need Jim puking and passing out. Hubby #2 was a nurse and I let him stay, all the way through. Unfortunately, that was as long as he stayed. He split when Mark was 1 week old and hasn't been heard from, since. Oh well, we've been better off, without an @$$hole, like him.

Best of luck and remember: EPIDURAL!

Originally posted by Debby

really thought I was going into labor earlier tonight..I had really bad pain for about 4 hours or so,(about every 15 min.) but it seems to have let up, so I guess not.

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Maybe you really did go into labor last night. Are you still here Debby??????

It must be around 11:00 A.M. where you are, Debby. I hope you fool everyone and have the baby before they can induce you! You know we will be pacing the halls here at TCS awaiting the news. You are very special to us, and we will be thinking of you all day. Remember, stay cool and on top of things, and don't be afraid to ask for the epidural when you need it. God Bless you and little Amber. Kiss her for Aunt Jeanie!

I was thinking the same thing Lorie. I got a PM from Debby earlier this morning, but she had typed it last night according to the time. Maybe she's already in labor, or maybe Amber has already made her entrance into this world???:tounge2:

Good luck Debby. I'm sure there will be women around the world bearing down and breathing with you.....

Looking forward to meeting Amber.