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News about the baby (Amber) - Page 2

post #31 of 79
This is just FYI: I live in the same time zone as Debby and we're only about six hours behind you. Right now, it's a little after 6 a.m. where we are so it should be a little after 12 noon where you are. Right???????
post #32 of 79
Debby - I am sending positive healthy baby vides and easy delivery vibes your way. Amber is one lucky little girl to have you as her mommy! Good luck.
post #33 of 79
I just saw this thread now. Good luck Debby! I'm so happy for you. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Just try and relax this last day that you have to yourself. Don't get to worried and remember that we will all be thinking of you.
post #34 of 79
Debby... best wishes, safety and joy to Amber, your husband and yourself!

Just to add to some of the comments... Not all labors are horrendous. My sister came to the breakfast table complaining that she's had "gas" from the pizza the night before and had been peeing all night... it turned out she was labor and she had her baby an hour and a half later. Both my goddaughters were born by natural childbirth... one at home.

Stay calm, breathe and do what's best for yourself and little Amber, no matter what that is!

Strength and energy to you all!

Edited for spelling.
post #35 of 79
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys! Yola...I don't go in to be induced until tomorrow at 5pm, so there is still over 24 hours left!!

The thing with hubby is....he is just like that. I mean his first wife told me that when she went into labor, he had to finish his fried chicken before he took her to the hospital...she can't eat fried chicken to this day. I know that sounds awful...and he would not do that with me, that was 17 years ago, and he has changed alot since then...but he still has his moments where he reverts back to being a jerk.
Maybe last night was my fault, I really don't know....his mother had called me and told me that my step-daughter wanted to ride up to the hospital with us when I go to be induced. And that is sweet of her, but his mother and I both agreed, that it could be many hours before I give birth, and she would be sitting in the waiting room alone all that time....AND the big one for me...is that hubby is looking for any excuse he can NOT to be in the room with me the whole time...he was not in the delivery room with either of his two kids, and he is very squimish about it, even though I told him he doesn't actually have to LOOK at it, just look at my face, and hold my hand. He finally agreed to it...BUT...I know if his daughter is out in the waiting room...he will be running out there to be with her every 10 minutes, and might not even be in the room when Amber is born, and I will be all stressed out because he isn't in the room, and I just want him to sit in the room with me the whole time for support, and not be running around.
And his mother actually agreed with me!!
So I told hubby I thought it would be better if his daughter came up sometime on Friday, since I will be alot closer to having her, or may have already had her. Then she can see the baby.
Is that being selfish of me?? Because he said it was, and raised his voice, and said "Well whatever, you always get what you want anyway"
Which is SO NOT TRUE!!!!! Then he told me I was making a big deal out of nothing, etc. etc.
Then it got worse from there...because he was cussing, and I said I didn't deserve to be treated that way and cussed at, and asked him to apologize..and he said, no, I won't. And then I told him how much of a jerk I thought he was being...and I threw in a few choice words, I should have left out...and then he got up and slammed the bedroom door.

Sorry for going into all of this here.......I don't want you all to think he is a big jerk, but sometimes he really can be. If I didn't love him so much, I would be gone.

he never tries to comfort me if I am scared...when we went to the doctor Monday there was some problem with the babies heartbeat, turned out it was okay, after they did two more tests...but I was really worried, and I swear all he could think about was that he had not eaten yet, and this whole thing was taking alot of time.

Thank you for letting me vent here...I hadn't planned on it, but it does help to get things off my chest!!!!!!!!!!! I usually keep stuff like this private...but I know I am among friends here.
post #36 of 79
Debby, I'm sorry he's being a jerk especially right now. Maybe that's his way of dealing with big stress? To push you away and just not deal it? I don't know. Right now, he SHOULD be doing everything to make YOU comfortable, relaxed, etc.

I agree with you and MIL. It is sweet she wants to be there, but it just isn't a good place for her to be all night.

You have all the support in the world from here, and we will all be figuratively holding your hand through the whole thing.
post #37 of 79
Thread Starter 
Thank you Heidi, that means alot!
post #38 of 79
I dont think it is selfish of you ....... Your step-daughter would be there along time waiting. How old is she again? Does she have her driver's liscense? Maybe she could borrow the car and go home (assuming she is over 16?).
Personally, when we have kids, I dont want a bunch of people hanging around.
post #39 of 79
Debby, You WILL be watching Big Brother while in labor! However, tape it anyway, in case Amber wants to come Thurs. night, which would be fine. That's my daughter's birthday. Debby, I had a girl friend who never had more than 1/2 hour's labor before six of her children were born. The first took 4 hours. Everyone's different. My advice: keep cool; breathe through the contraction, staying totally in control, and get the epidural! You'll be fine. Remember, if you get mad, yell at Josh! The proof that "big babies" get through labor is the fact that I had four babies! I was determined everyone would believe I was not the least bit frightened. It worked! Remember the song from the "King and I" "I whistle a happy tune, and no one will suspect I'm afraid." "Cause when I fool the people I fool, I fool myself as well!"
post #40 of 79
P.S My husband can't take that kind of stress either; he yelled at me to get in the car when I was in the middle of a hard contraction. He gets terrified of hospitals and any kind of illness. I fell once, and he was stuck to the spot; he couldn't move. But when I was in labor, he also had labor pains. He came home and said,"We're going to the hospital; I can't take this any more!" I don't know how much pain he was having, but he was a bigger baby than I was. Bless his heart!
post #41 of 79
I don't think its right or wrong for Brooke to want to be there Debby. Its YOUR choice, you are the one who is going to be in labor. So if YOU want her there, good, if you don't then don't. Your husband shouldn't have a say since he's just going to be coaching you, and its not actually him that will be in pain.

As far as him being squeemish. Well, David didn't want to "look" either, I don't think most men actually look. But his being there for support and comfort is the most important thing. And its a moment that you and he will cherish forever. I can still remember the split second after each of my babies were born where my husband and I made eye contact. It was like there was nothing else in this world except he and I. Its a look I'll remember till I die, and I hope you and your husband are able to experience that as well. Mine is embedded in my brain, I think of it everytime we disagree and it makes me forget whatever it is we are arguing about and remember how much I love him.

Having a baby is a miracle in itself, but hopefully it will make your marriage stronger as well.
post #42 of 79
Most guys are squeamish. They, also can't handle seeing someone they care about, in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

Its, probably, a good thing that Bill and I can't have any babies. He gets all upset when I get a migraine. I can imagine him going through labor and delivery!
post #43 of 79
Thread Starter 
Daniela, that was so sweet!! You almost brought tears to my eyes!! I hope it is like that for hubby and I when she is born!!! I know he loves me, and I am sure all fighting will be gone once we see her sweet face.
post #44 of 79
Debby, my husband is extremely squeamish when it comes to hospitals. When our son was born he really surprised me. We had agreed that he would stay with me in the labor room and then go out to the waiting room when I was moved into delivery. I had complications during labor which resulted in an emergency c-section (I hope I'm not scaring you), and my husband completely suprised me when he continued to stay right by my side and help me even then. When I was moved into surgery he went into the surgical observation area to watch the c-section being performed (another surprise). My husband was so worried about me and the baby that he completely forgot about himself. Maybe your husband will do something that surprises you in a nice way after you have been induced. Good luck!!!
post #45 of 79
Thread Starter 
I hope so Lorie!! Sometimes those men can surprise us!!
post #46 of 79
Debby, I am sure he will fall in love with you all over again once he sees Amber being born. It connects you two in a way that is only possible when you have a child together.

My husband came in the OperatingRoom with me for both of my csections. He sat right by my head and held my hand. He stroked my face and wiped away my tears ( I was scared, and having discomfort ) and he never once thought of himself. He was wonderful, I couldn't have made it thru without him. I know you'll feel the same way after delivery. He'll come thru for you Debby, with flying colors I am sure!!

Men can be jerks sometimes, but they come thru when you need them the most.
post #47 of 79
Thread Starter 
Thanks Daniela!!! I REALLY needed to hear that!!! I feel alot better about things now!!!! Thank you!!!
post #48 of 79
Well....I am probably going to have alot of mothers shaking their heads at me for telling my side but...I have to.

When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest, the first picture that popped into my head was the delivery day with my husband by my side and both of us bonding over what was to be the most beautiful moment in our lives. This image in my head was not to occur.

My husband was deathly afraid of being anywhere near the hospital while the delivery occured. I did balk at this the first week and then I gradually mellowed out and accepted that he would not be in the room with me. I had many people say "How can you accept this??" My answer was always: "It's his choice and, do I really want him in there knowing he does not want to be there?".

On the day I was induced, hubby went to work like if it was a normal day. Apparently the guys sat around the table with the phone in the middle, waiting for the call. (which did not occur until 32 hours later!!!!)

Don't get me wrong. I would have much preferred having him by my side. It would have been a wonderful thing.

He also stayed away when our second was born, again....waiting for the call that "all was okay".

To this day, he is the most attentive father and husband. He cherishes his boys and would die for them. To me....that was/is the most important thing.

Debby, if hubby does chose not to be there, try to look past it because you will end up resenting that forever. Hopefully, he will be by your side but the real important thing here is that he is there for Amber and you for years to come.

BTW: Daniela, I do envy what you and your hubby lived through. Had I had the opportunity to have hubby by my side, that's exactly what I dreamed would happen.
post #49 of 79
Well, I understand its every mans choice. Obviously you can't force him to be in the room. And I am sure your husband Ghys is very attentive. I surely don't believe that if a father is NOT present that that in any way means they aren't a good father. That would be insane.

Having said that though, I think its a beautiful experience to have w/ your spouse. I think its a moment in time that you can cherish forever. My husband is a 'manly' sort of guy, not the type to cry or show emotion. Well, he cried at both of our childrens births and I felt totally honored. To know that me having his child caused him to shed tears was so moving. I ran that scene over and over in my head, and to this day I still sometimes think of it.

Whatever your husband chooses Debby, accept it for what it is. He may not be the "in the delivery room" type of guy, but I am sure he'll be a fabulous daddy no matter where he is during the birth.

And Ghys, I am sure you still have wonderful memories of the births even if he wasn't present. And if he was sitting by the phone, that shows he did care!!
post #50 of 79
Debby - I just came by to see what's going on, and I hope I haven't missed you today! I wish you good luck and I'll be praying for a quick and easy delivery for you. You'll do great! It is hard, but I know you can do it. I was induced with my second, and it went FAST! Hopefully yours will too. I bet you'll be able to sleep this evening because the start of labor is pretty slow and not so painful. My doctor was wonderful enough to give me an epidural when he started the pitocin. I'd ask yours, if I were you.

Anyway, I'll be thinking of you and I can't wait to hear the news that you've had Amber all safe and sound. Good Luck!!
post #51 of 79
*sigh* I always thought my hubby was the "strong" one in our family. I now know that had he been in the room by my side, I may have had to be the one supporting him. I can almost picture him out cold on the floor :LOL:

I do pick at him all the time about this. I learnt to laugh about the situation instead of turning it into one where I'd resent him for not wanting to be by my side. I'll say "Thank God the phone didn't go dead because you'd have met your son only after the whole family did!"

For Nicolas, he was a little bit closer. He had Steven with him to support him and they both held Nicolas moments after he arrived. For me, the memory I have is of both him and Steven walking into the case room to meet their new son/brother. My coach ran out to call them when I started into the pushing stage.

Daniela, you succeeded, I did end up with tears in my eyes. Your husband sounds wonderful. I can almost visualise the two of you. (I've seen your picture so it makes it a little bit easy!!!!)
post #52 of 79
Thanks Ghys for your kind words. Yes, my hubby is wonderful. He is my soulmate.
post #53 of 79
Oh my gosh Debby.....I am getting so nervous for you! I have no clue what the time difference is between us but I do know, the time is much closer now!!! You may already be on the way........

Good luck! Good luck! Good luck!

(geesh...I don't know why I am this excited, but I am!!!! )
post #54 of 79
Its so exciting. I can't wait to see pictures. You will do just fine. Your picture shows you to be a beautiful lady and I'm sure Amber will be just as beautiful. Will keep you and Amber in my thoughts and prayers.

Sweetling your husband is being a jerk but I don't see how he could continue that way when your tiny rainbow is born. Will cross my fingers that he has an "attitude adjustment".
Blessed be.

Mom to Jessie, Nikkie, Luckie, Lady & Sammy
post #55 of 79
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone! I have really enjoyed reading these posts!! I have 17 1/2 hours left until I am induced. (If I counted right.) It is 11:35 pm here now...and I will be induced tomorrow evening at 5:00 pm.

I really thought I was going into labor earlier tonight..I had really bad pain for about 4 hours or so,(about every 15 min.) but it seems to have let up, so I guess not.
post #56 of 79
Fingers AND toes crossed, for you, Debby. I wouldn't allow my first husband in the delivery room. That macho biker was the biggest baby, you ever saw. Two drops of blood and he was on the floor! I figured that they'd have their hands full, with the baby and me - didn't need Jim puking and passing out. Hubby #2 was a nurse and I let him stay, all the way through. Unfortunately, that was as long as he stayed. He split when Mark was 1 week old and hasn't been heard from, since. Oh well, we've been better off, without an @$$hole, like him.

Best of luck and remember: EPIDURAL!
post #57 of 79
Originally posted by Debby
really thought I was going into labor earlier tonight..I had really bad pain for about 4 hours or so,(about every 15 min.) but it seems to have let up, so I guess not.
Maybe you really did go into labor last night. Are you still here Debby??????
post #58 of 79
It must be around 11:00 A.M. where you are, Debby. I hope you fool everyone and have the baby before they can induce you! You know we will be pacing the halls here at TCS awaiting the news. You are very special to us, and we will be thinking of you all day. Remember, stay cool and on top of things, and don't be afraid to ask for the epidural when you need it. God Bless you and little Amber. Kiss her for Aunt Jeanie!
post #59 of 79
I was thinking the same thing Lorie. I got a PM from Debby earlier this morning, but she had typed it last night according to the time. Maybe she's already in labor, or maybe Amber has already made her entrance into this world???:tounge2:
post #60 of 79
Good luck Debby. I'm sure there will be women around the world bearing down and breathing with you.....

Looking forward to meeting Amber.
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