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How do I keep myself occupied?

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
My thread about Blue Pants got me thinking.

Russian Blue said that I should not let the opposite sex dictate how I feel emotionally..So basically, not get so depressed because some guy is not into me.

Well, I realized I do largely depend on guys to make me feel less lonely, and I can't even imagine being single for much longer. But this isn't a good thing..

I do feel lonely often because I have no close friends around here..really I have one girlfriend to hang out with and she's married and busy alot.

So, my question is, what are some things I can do so I don't feel so lonely..and won't long to meet a guy to fill the gap..I know I don't need a guy..I just need to learn to be happy by myself, but how do I do that when I'm so lonely and bored?

Any ideas?? I know I'm going to bake this weekend But other than cleaning, I need things to do by myself. I am DREADING this weekend as I have NO plans.

thanks guys, sorry for the long post.
post #2 of 27
Well, you have lots of friends at TCS to occupy some of your time. What do you like to do? Is there a hobby that you used to do and haven't done for a long time because you had no time? This is Christmas craft sale time - are you into that sort of thing? A few hours touring craft sales is always fun, and hey, I quite often do that by myself.
post #3 of 27
I got to that point a few years ago. I started going to an exercise class (I think it was Jazzercise). It kept me occupied and I was able to interact with people.

Check to see if you have a city rec center and if they have classes, etc. Is there some volunteering you can do?

I think I interact better with people if there is something we're working on together.
post #4 of 27
Is taking classes for something that interests you an option?
post #5 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirtle View Post
Is taking classes for something that interests you an option?
I don't really have alot of disposable income...I go to the gym regularily and there is classes there, but I have never tried them..maybe I should.
post #6 of 27
I can think of tons of things that you could do!

I used to spend a few hours in Chapters on the weekend when I was single. You can relax with a cup of tea and a good book, and you never know...there might be good looking guys there

I think that taking classes is a great idea. I took a few photography classes a few years back and I met people there that I still talk to today

and of course you know that you can always come and visit your fellow cat loving friend in the big city if you ever feel the need for an adventurous drive!
post #7 of 27
You could come see us for a day in Toronto!

Take up some classes at the gym - you may find something you really really like and make some new friends.

You just got your new camera, so spend some time enjoying 'you' time and go take some pics of things you like and work out what makes you happy past a man and make yourself a collage to look at when you do feel down about being alone.

And remember, you always have us and Trout!
post #8 of 27
class's in the gym are good, hanging out with friends(dont stop doing that for a guy,)
a good book,

or of course games
post #9 of 27
Maybe Miss Mew could take you on as a student pilot! That would be exciting and fill up your spare time. Although it does tend to empty the purse a bit...
post #10 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by neetanddave View Post
Maybe Miss Mew could take you on as a student pilot! That would be exciting and fill up your spare time.Although it does tend to empty the purse a bit....

that is the truth!!!!!

but flying is better then,,err,video games yea that is what i was going to say
.. flying is a blast
post #11 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
class's in the gym are good, hanging out with friends(dont stop doing that for a guy,)
a good book,

or of course games
Well as I said, all of my friends live hours away..I literally have one friend here so I spend most of my time alone..can't hang out with friends..if I could, I most definately would..I MISS them!!
post #12 of 27
While I'm not without a man, I do spend the majority of my time alone.
Without even the distraction of a job.

I read, play around on the computer, play video games (I love games that make me think), watch movies, and of course clean and garden in nice weather.
post #13 of 27
Thread Starter 
Great Ideas everyone

I don't think I really know what I love to do. I should take some time and try to figure that out..I have this awful habit that when I'm dating someone, I take on their interests as if they are my own...But they aren't my own, but I don't know what mine are....SO, I will try to figure that out

Maybe I will start volunteering...there is a animal control right near my place...and then I could hang out with furballs all day..
post #14 of 27
I definitely think you should go ahead and figure out what makes you tick- I really think everyone has a "knack" in life so to speak. I think mine is volunteering and fostering. It just works for me and I feel the most happy when i'm doing things that involve that. I also suggest joining some of the workout groups at your gym- i'll make you a deal- you join one, and I will join one. I've been looking into a few at my gym, but have yet to join a group (there's some I can't do since I messed up my legs running). Also, maybe take a class like pottery, art, music, dance, photography, DIY at your local hardware store, learn to change a tire or the oil in your car if you don't already- soemthing that will give you a little more independance. I really suggest volunteering or taking a class- you can make lots of friends that way, and the best thing is- you will have something in common with them to talk about / Maybe you can do an at home spa day for yourself this weekend- give yourself a facial, do your nails, shave, exfoliate, give yourself a pedicure, light some candles, take a bubble bath, put a deep conditioner mask on your hair....things like that.... I always feel better when I do that- maybe that will cheer you up a bit too? And you always have TCS people to talk too as well- I wish you were closer to Memphis to hang out with.
post #15 of 27
If you can spring for it, I suggest you get a copy of Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding her Inner French Girl by Debra Ollivier.

I think everyone should read it.

Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Entre-Nous-Wom...e=UTF8&s=books
post #16 of 27
i am exactly in the same situation as you. So i am going to take some of the advice!
post #17 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan View Post
i am exactly in the same situation as you. So i am going to take some of the advice!
Fran, its too bad we are oceans away...we could totally hang out.. I am such a loner here But back when I lived in Ottawa, I wouldn't have an hour free to myself I was so busy. Its weird to go from a hip happening person to a loner
post #18 of 27
Pick up a non-expensive craft - that how I learnt how to make hand made boxes...I now at every christmas make extra income as I make boxes to spec. It is an inexpensive hobby and all you need is one book which you could most probably borrow from the library.

The other option is to learn how to make friendship bracelets. They make wonderful gifts and all you need is embroidery thread and a huge safety pin! Here's the link for friendship bracelets...

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Lane/1627/index.html

Of course Trout will have lots of fun hiding your thread from you!

I hope this helps coz I know what it's like to be lonely!
post #19 of 27
Scooping 10 litterboxes and feeding 13 cats keeps ya busy I hardly ever go out, but I feel like there isn't enough time in the day! It's weird but I'm never really bored then again I watch 2-3 TV shows a night too
post #20 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
I don't think I really know what I love to do. I should take some time and try to figure that out..I have this awful habit that when I'm dating someone, I take on their interests as if they are my own...But they aren't my own, but I don't know what mine are....SO, I will try to figure that out
I'm glad you starting thinking about what I wrote. It just bothers me when people become so wrapped up with someone else that they loose their own identity and self worth. I knew a few girls in high school/university who were only happy when they were with someone. Yet their boyfriends were treating them horribly and sometimes abusive. Yet they couldn't see it or didn't have the skills to stand up for themselves.

It really opened my eyes to the fact that many women don't even know themselves or respect their life yet will *try* to complete their life with another person. How do you know what you want in another life partner if you don't know your own identity?

I moved out on my own when I was 19 and lived on my own for 3 years. I dated off and on but never would date someone who didn't treat me with respect and loved me *just* to have someone in my life. I became independant and learned a lot about my interests and perspective on life during those years.

I don't think many women take that time to be on their own and develop their own sense of self-worth and identity before becoming involved with other relationships that 'complete' them.

I'm not saying you can't have excitement or interest in another guy. I just don't want to see your whole life revolve one person and be so let down if they don't respond. Your life is worth so much more than slowly placing your days 'on hold' until you gain the acceptance from a 'potential' date.

Stepping off my soapbox.
post #21 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
Fran, its too bad we are oceans away...we could totally hang out.. I am such a loner here But back when I lived in Ottawa, I wouldn't have an hour free to myself I was so busy. Its weird to go from a hip happening person to a loner
Ha i know!!! we could have had loads of fun!!!

Back in australia i never had time for my self, and i wish i had a girlfriend to hang out with!! You should move here!
post #22 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russian Blue View Post
I'm glad you starting thinking about what I wrote. It just bothers me when people become so wrapped up with someone else that they loose their own identity and self worth. I knew a few girls in high school/university who were only happy when they were with someone. Yet their boyfriends were treating them horribly and sometimes abusive. Yet they couldn't see it or didn't have the skills to stand up for themselves.

It really opened my eyes to the fact that many women don't even know themselves or respect their life yet will *try* to complete their life with another person. How do you know what you want in another life partner if you don't know your own identity?

I moved out on my own when I was 19 and lived on my own for 3 years. I dated off and on but never would date someone who didn't treat me with respect and loved me *just* to have someone in my life. I became independant and learned a lot about my interests and perspective on life during those years.

I don't think many women take that time to be on their own and develop their own sense of self-worth and identity before becoming involved with other relationships that 'complete' them.

I'm not saying you can have excitement or interest in another guy. I just don't want to see your whole life revolve one person and be so let down if they don't respond. Your life is worth so much more than slowly placing your days 'on hold' until you gain the acceptance from a 'potential' date.

Stepping off my soapbox.
This is all so true, what i say is how can you expect someone else to make you happy when you can't make yourself happy? Having been single now for almost 2 years, I can honestly say I am happier now than I ever was while in a relationship
post #23 of 27
The thing that I found was when I was so desperate for a relationship, I probably wasn't worth knowing anyway. It was when I developed interests and did things to make me happy that I actually was able to have good fulfilling relationships.

When you find where your passions are, then you complete yourself and everything else (like relationships) becomes gravy.
post #24 of 27
Thread Starter 
I just have NO idea though..maybe I'm just a schmoe with no interests?!! What a freak I am.
post #25 of 27
I doubt you have NO interests. . .

What's something you've always wanted to try to learn how to do, but never "had the time" to do it? Well, girl, now you can MAKE the time, and do it for YOU.
post #26 of 27
I would say start making a list of what you like and don't like. That might give you a clue.
post #27 of 27
Since my job ended last year I don't interact with many people other than DH and some of my relatives!! There are several people I know a little but many peopel are so busy with things going on in their own lives.
I recently started doing jigsaw puzzles again-its a bit of a pain with cats-I cover it up or Bakker would have pieces stuck to his fur.
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