Feel very bad for my cousins cats...

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keith p

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My cousin (almost 21) has a bad case of ADHD, if he doesnt take his meds he quickly gets very agitated and/or violent and angry. For as long as I knew him he has always liked to hurt animals for no apparent reason, probably because of his medical condition, but even on medication he sometimes does it. Now even off his med's he is nice to me, and we have always got along, but it's this one thing that really gets to me.

His parents let him have animals (and trust me they are sensible and smart people), and they know what he does to them, but he gets so out of control they cant control him, so he basically does whatever he wants to certain point. One time I told him to stop hurting his dog, and he told me "why, it's fun she likes to wrestle" I guess he doesnt understand.....

He put a snake in his pants,karate chopped a hamsters neck, starved his lizard to death, broke a tank filled with piranhas and watched them die, when he was younger he would punch his dogs stomach, and the dog he had (well the one his family adopted as a stray who on top of this has breast cancer) last year he would suffocate with his hand,throw it across his room, and put it in a tree in a box, then let it plunge to the ground. Needless to say the dog had such bad injuries one after another, his parents put it to sleep.


Now they have 2 cats and another dog. Thw dog is his sisters, so he really doesnt try to hurt it, but the families two cats arent so lucky. They were given to his family by the person from upstairs family, she died and they were her cats, so she gave them to my cousins family. my cousin keeps them locked in his room with the air conditioner on all thr time, and the tv turned really loud! He hides the litterbox so they cant use the box, then yells at them when they pee and poo on the floor. He feeds them a bowl of food in the morning, and the rest of the day he feeds them catnip, I know, bad. Sometimes he throws them too, but usually they are quick enough to get away from him. One of their cats is usually outside most of the time, and doesnt eat much, and the only good thing about it getting out is it doesnt have to go to the bathroom on his floor, and isnt subjected to being locked in a room all its life. Their other cat recently got AIDs, and my cousins mom tells him to keep the cat in his room, because it's too dangerous for it to be outside. Yes, thats true, but she doesnt know the torture it goes through locked in hos room 24/7 It shivers,hardly gets to eat, and never gets to use the littebox. Plus he picks it up by it stomach so it yells in pain, and he holds it harder, he is not afraid of any animal, and he has been bitten and scratched tons of times.

My point, is there any way to get through to him in a way he can understand that he hurts these animals, because he thinks they enjoy what he does to them.
 

jen

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Ummm, what?? I think you need to report them immediately. I don't care if this is family or not, this is horrible animal abuse. Its not like he pulled the cat's tail once, this is straight up animal cruelty. You really need to do something about this. Do you seriously think his parents are sensible and smart people? That is ridiculous, this is horrible.

On an side note, if the cat is neutered and has FIV he can be outside. The only way it is spread is thru mating and very serious fighting resulting in bite wounds. People are even releasing FIV positive feral cats. It is FeLV that is the very easily spreadable one.
 

starryeyedtiger

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How old is the child? Also, is he in therapy? Animal violence at a young age needs to have attention called to it immediately....many people (and i'm not saying he will do this) who harm animals at a young age, wind up harming other people and animals later on in life. I would honestly have a good sit down with them all - parents included and let them know that what he is doing is not normal, nor is it ok. I would ask if they have considered counseling if he is not already in it, and until his behavior can be controled, I would Highly suggest rehoming those animals- they should not be tortured and abused simply because the parents want their children to have pets- that is simply not acceptable, nor is it far to the animals. If they are not willing to do anything about it, I would consider reporting the animals abuse annon to the local animal services in that area. I know it may be a tough decision, but if an animal is stuck a home with an abusive person, they have no way of defending themselves, and given the child's past actions, i wouldn't risk the chance that they will be hurt anymore or killed. (and you may or may not want to do this since it is family, but if you don't stand up for the animals, who will?) / Whatever you decide, good luck. I honestly would talk to the parents and let them know that their child's behavior is not normal when it comes to animals and that it needs to be addressed immediately. There should not be animals in a home with a child who harms them. (Also, I have seen numerous children with ADHD and ADD....even two of my nephews have it- but they are very gentle with animals and have never harmed one...so I don't think his violent actions towards animals has anything to do with it...there could be something more going on there....he needs to be thoroughly evaluated by a behaviorial specialist.)
 

pami

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This just disgusted me! Your problem is not "getting the point across to your cousin that he is hurting these animals"! Your issue at hand is getting these animals out of his care and away from him, ASAP. He is not a stable person to have any animals around him. He needs to be reported ASAP! Please speak up for these animals that cannot speak up for themselves.
 

yosemite

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I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but you need to help get those cats out of there. His parents are definitely NOT responsible to allow this to happen. Since you are aware of the abuse the onus is on you to report this. Firstly, I'd talk to his parents and let them know exactly what their son is doing. If they do not take action, then you must do it.

This is not a question of "what should I do?". This goes way beyond that. This boy should not be allowed around animals at all. That's like putting a pedophile in charge of little children. Do the right thing for these poor unfortunate animals and do it quickly. Please, I beg you.
 

jen

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Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

How old is the child? Also, is he in therapy? Animal violence at a young age needs to have attention called to it immediately....many people (and i'm not saying he will do this) who harm animals at a young age, wind up harming other people and animals later on in life.
He isn't a child he is 21!! ADHD is absolutely no excuse for this awful behavior.
 

beckiboo

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That is horrible. His parents are NOT sensible, or they would not allow this. I work as a nurse in the psych field, and it is widely understood that cruelty to animals is a very grim symptom. I agree with the other posters that this is not simple ADHD, and that those animals need to be removed from that home immediately. If the parents won't do it, he needs to be reported to the authorities.

And his doctor needs to know what is happening before he hurts more animals and/or people. While privacy acts prevent doctors from giving out information, they can take information. If you know who the doctor is, you can call and leave him a message as you have told us.

I have a "nutty" cousin...he always loved guns and talked rough, but his parents kept controls on him preventing him from acting out. It was not easy, but they did it. He is now in his 40's and is still odd, but has become very peaceful and happy. People can change, but only if they are not permitted to continue acting horrible. And in his case, since he is allowed more pets, I believe the parents are encouraging abuse.
 

miagi's_mommy

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If I were his parents, I wouldn't let him have animals, period.
has his parents ever hurt him? because abuse starts if someone is abused and those poor animals need to get the heck out of there.
 

jen

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Originally Posted by Beckiboo

And in his case, since he is allowed more pets, I believe the parents are encouraging abuse.
Exactly! He lives with his parents still right? So why would they allow more animals into their home when they know their son will harm them? What do they do when their son begins harming the animals? I am also curious if you witnessed him doing this stuff or have you heard it talked about by family or did he tell you himself?
 
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keith p

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His parents yell at the top of their lungs when he does this stuff, and they try to take the animal away, but he hits his mom and goes away with the cat. Sometimes my aunt is actually afraid of him, so she leaves him alone so he wont get so mad.

I was in his room when he did this stuff, and I try to stop him each time, I even gave the cat extra water so it could drink.

Yes, he was abused at a young age because he was out of control (which is no excuse), and his parents almost got a divorce, and they go to counseling.

He was locked in an institution for a year, and goes to therapy. My parents wouldnt allow me to report the situation, I have taked to them about it many times, and when my cousin was young my mom would stop him from doing this, but now he just doesnt listen. We dont see them much, mabye once a year, it's not like he actually owns the cats, their my aunt and uncles, but they work all day so they leave him to care for them.

By the way all the other animals are from the past, it's just the 2 cats and dog that live with them, and he doesnt hurt the dog because it's his sisters and she will hit him if he trys anything, and ive seen her do it too.
 

pami

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Im sorry but I find it very appalling that your mother will not let you call and report abuse being done to these cats. How old are you?
 

jen

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it doesn't make any difference if most of that was in the past or not. it happened for a long time it sounds like. and it is dangerous for those animals to be with him and highly irresponsible for the parents to own animals when their son abuses them. Fine he doesn't hurt the dog, but the two cats should not have to suffer thru this.

Give us their name and we will report them. It can be done annonimously (sp?) and I would gladly do it. If your parents are telling you not to then that is incredibly irresponsible of them as well. I think you need to stand up for these animals and do something about this. This is one time when you don't have to listen to your parents.
 

pami

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I just saw that you are 20 years old. Honey, listen, you are an adult, I understand that this is your family that you only see once a year. But these animals are being harmed. You can pick up the phone and annimously report him. You can PM me his name and address and I will find out the best way to to handle it, if you are not comfortable doing it yourself. But please understand something MUST be done. It just cannot go on, especially for you, inside of yourself, knowing these animals are abused and you have done nothing. That will be with you for the rest of your life.
 
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keith p

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20, and if I called behind my parents back, what the heck would I tell them, my ADHD cousin throws the family cat. C'mon, someone here called the ASPCA about a dog being starved and abused, and the ASPCA did Nothing! I doubt they would do anything, especially since my cousin is getting help and medication, what more could they do, or would be willing to do? Besides they need proof, I see my cousin once a year, is that anything to go by as evidence? And there's no way i would confront my aunt and uncle after I reported them, im sorry I dont need to deal with any more family issues than I already have, i'm sick of it all.

Im not trying to be mean, but this has gone on for so long, I wish my aunt and uncle never took in the cats...
 
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keith p

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He's not as bad as he used to be, and doesnt do it as often I do have to say that, I just feel they shouldnt have kept the cats knowing what he used to do to their old dog they dont have anymore. If they just got rid of the cats, he would have no animals to harm, the dog is well protected by his sister.

I came here because he listens to me, and i wanted to know how to talk to him about it, just him and me, but now your telling me to report. I wish you could understand, but I cant do it.

Nobody else who visits that house would report them, they would know it's my family for certain reasons, and we cant deal with any more family fights, this is one of the only families that are still close to us. (you would have to know my family to undersand)
 

jen

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The fact that you posted this whole thread in the first place really makes it seem like you are begging for help but don't know what to do. You knew we weren't just going to sit back and say "oh ya, poor cats" we are going to try to help you do something about it.

You don't have to report it, we will, just tell us the info.

And honestly, you face these people once a year. So what if you helped report them. I wouldn't want to face such horrible people ever again even if it was family.

They are not doing the right thing here and you aren't either by ignoring it. These animals are being unnecessarily abused. They are being thrown across rooms, and starved and everything else. At least if you report it their names would be on file. Maybe if you (or one of us) was convincing enough, the ASPCA or even animal control would come out and take their animals away. Maybe there was something you didn't know about the case where the dog was starved and they didn't do anything. You hear animal abuse stories all the time, call the ASPCA, the local humane shelters, or the animal cops like you see on Animal Precinct NY on Animal Planet. Call them all and report them multiple times and keep on it and something will happen. Or like I said, we will.
 

beckiboo

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You are 20, but in some ways you are just a kid. You are here for advice, and you are getting good advice. Even if someone who cares nothing for animals knew of this situation, they would intervene...because it is bad for your cousin to be acting in such a cruel way, too. Not just bad for the poor kitties, but bad for his soul, and his feelings.

You need to give yourself a timeline to think through our responses...48 hours, or a week if necessary. Get real quiet and still, and think about the situation. A 20 y/o who sees someone else his age only once a year cannot provide a huge amount of influence on such bad behavior. It is almost like if he were an alcoholic...would you be able to stop that behavior, or would it be best for him to really get help?

You are reaching out for help, and advice has been offered. The reason you posted is because you knew something had to give. I do not believe there is any way you can "talk" an abusive person out of abusing a weak creature under his control. I think you must report this. If nothing happens the first time you report it, do it again!

Sometimes it is very painful to bring wrongdoing into the light. Just because the adults in your family are standing by silently, you don't need to. Speak up. You can do it!
 
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