I hate people!

4crazycats

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I really hate people sometimes. Well I guess I should say I hate nosey annoying people. People have been giving me dirty looks alot lately. I suppose because I'm pregnant and look really young. Not that I'm old I'll be 20 in a few weeks. But I look about 16. Anyways today at the hospital I was down in the cafeteria with John's sister. This lady came up to me and said I should be ashamed of myself having a baby out of wedlock and being a little girl. HELLO if I was a little girl I couldnt be having a baby for one thing. Plus what business is it of hers wether I'm married or not! I really didnt know what to say so I was just sitting there looking at her. Sarah (Johns sister) looked her up and down and said Why dont you mind your own business lady. I dont think anyone asked for your opinion. That lady's face was PRICELESS!
I wish I could just speak up for myself like that. But I was raised to be polite and not argue with anyone. Especially someone older then me. So I have a really big problem with that. That's just one time someone said something like that. I really wish people would just keep their mouths shut. Ive even started to cry a couple times because people have said such mean things to me. One woman said I feel sorry for your parents because you know you cant take care of that baby and they will end up with it. One man said I should have had an abortion! Why cant people just be nice? Havnt they ever heard if you cant think of anything nice to say dont say anything!


On a better note. John is doing much better. The doctors said they want him to stay longer then they thought. But that he will haveto have someone with him all the time until the doctor tells him hecan be alone. Because even after he gets home he wont be allowed to move around. He might be moving in with me for a while and his sister is staying with me until she decides to go home. She will probably be the one taking care of him while I'm at work. I told him I had to run home and post an update on him. So he said to tell everyone Hi! Well actually he said "Tell all your cat people I said HEY CAT PEOPLE!
 

crittermom

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I'm glad John is doing better.I am praying he heals fast and can take care of hisself soon.
As for rude people,my parents are(Dad passed away) both Ministers.I was always taught to respect my elders and be polite no matter what.When Dad got soooo sick in U of M and we had a Nurse that was outright rude,I went off on her.I told her to mind her own da** business and asked to speak to her Supervisior.
When people come up to you and say those things,so not to be rude..........you can say "I'm an adult,and if I choose to have a baby it is my right to do so".Or "Excuse me,why do you feel it is your place to tell me what to do?"
There are stupid people in this World and they will say what they want to because they feel it is their right to do it.
Just remember,she is YOUR baby and you will be a GREAT Mom!!!
 

kluchetta

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OK, hopefully I'm not really really off here, but I have been known to wear a ring on a certain "finger" in order to stave off certain questions or comments...

Also - what happened with John?
I missed something, but I hope he's ok.
 
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4crazycats

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Originally Posted by kluchetta

OK, hopefully I'm not really really off here, but I have been known to wear a ring on a certain "finger" in order to stave off certain questions or comments...

Also - what happened with John?
I missed something, but I hope he's ok.
We were in a bad car wreck Friday. He broke his pelvis, dislocated his shoulder and got bruised up really bad. He has to stay in the hospital until the doctors can see if hes starting to heal and to make sure he stays still like she should. Thats a good idea. I might see if my sister has a ring that I can borrow. I onlyhave 1 that Stan gave me a year ago. Its way to big for my ring finger though.
 

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Yeah....people will be nosey, whether you want them to be or not. Don't let it get to you, I'm sure you will be fine. I was in my husband's old company-one of their stores, changing my baby in the restroom. She was about 6 months at the time and I had one of those headbands with the elastic and with the ribbon on her, cause I thought she looked cute. One elderly lady saw me changing her and said, "Shame on you for putting that on your baby. She said that the bandana hurt the baby and said that I was hurting the baby but the baby couldn't say anything cause it couldn't talk yet." I didnt' say anything at all to her cause I was shocked she'd say something like that and two, I also was taught not to be impolite to my elders (especially the elderly). If I had been thinking, I would have politely said, "If my baby were hurting, believe me....she would have let me know by crying!"...but I let it slide. I knew I wasn't a bad mom for having my baby that way.
Hey....I hope John is feeling better. I send feel physical better vibes to John and feel emotional better vibes to you. I know you will get through this okay.
 

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Sorry that people are so rude. Remember, the best defense is always impeccable manners - Simply cooly say, "That does not deserve a response" or perhaps, "And your reason for such a comment IS ?????". My disabled daughter has a severe speech problem, and people can be very rude, the most common comment being, "what happened to her??" or "why does she talk like that" or "does she understand?"; lately, I simply turn to my daughter and say, "You explain it, Nat!" and she does so, in a very friendly, but unintelligilbe manner.

Also, sending lots of prayers and vibes to John, that he recover quickly! and please tell him that we say "hey" back!
Susan
 

starryeyedtiger

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I hope John is feeling better
He sounds like a good guy! Any news on the insurance? I hope all goes well with your claim. / About that lady- eww...she better be glad I wasn't there with you....I can't stand rude people who make such distasteful comments. I'm sorry that heifer made you cry. You don't deserve to be treated in such a mean way. Well, I for one think you are going to be a great mommy- as do many other of your friends here on TCS!
Prove those rude people wrong! You are a strong, graceful woman and you are going to be a good mommy to that little one.
(Have you picked a definite name yet?)
 

starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by kluchetta

OK, hopefully I'm not really really off here, but I have been known to wear a ring on a certain "finger" in order to stave off certain questions or comments....
I do the same thing when I go to the gas station or anywhere there are a lot of men hanging around (certain stores, etc). I always switch the ring on my right hand to my ring finger and if anyone says anything.....i'm like "nope, sorry, i'm happily married to a wonderful police officer"
that always shuts them up
 

theimp98

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i always vote for this your business and how question to people who ask rude questions,

However Me and wife where out having dinner, and 2 little kids just kept looking at her, lol they kept standing up, in there chairs trying to get a better look. The mom and dad kept trying to get them to turn around and eat, but the kids just kept looking.Finally one them said mommey why she look like that, So, the wife went over to there table and told them, where she was from. lol was we leaving the guy said he was sorry, for the kids.

then the one boy who was maybe 7, said she is so pretty, i want to marry her hahaaha
 
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4crazycats

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Originally Posted by catsknowme

Sorry that people are so rude. Remember, the best defense is always impeccable manners - Simply cooly say, "That does not deserve a response" or perhaps, "And your reason for such a comment IS ?????". My disabled daughter has a severe speech problem, and people can be very rude, the most common comment being, "what happened to her??" or "why does she talk like that" or "does she understand?"; lately, I simply turn to my daughter and say, "You explain it, Nat!" and she does so, in a very friendly, but unintelligilbe manner.

Also, sending lots of prayers and vibes to John, that he recover quickly! and please tell him that we say "hey" back!
Susan
My Lil sis has Dispraxia and disarthria (I think thats right) anyways its where the connection between her muscles and her brain dont connect right. At least thats how my mom explained it to me when I was little. And I havnt really bothered to find out more. Sarah is Sarah and just because she doesnt talk well doesnt mean anything. Anyways people always treat her like she's deaf or mentally off. She's a typical 17 year old just she cant talk to were most people can understand her. We can for the most part. When we cant she just laughs at us. I dont know how she does it. She's amazing to me. I dont think I could deal with having a problem like that. It also caused her to be smaller and her muscles in the rest of her body are also very weak. She just smiles when people say stupid stuff like that and we laugh when they leave. She has such a great attitude about it. I guess its really all she's ever known though. I think I would be bitter if I was her! I will definatly say you said Hey back. He always teases me for sneaking off and coming on here.
 

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I'm new here and I don't mean to barge in, but I can completely relate to what you're dealing with. I'm 26, and my kids are 10, 7, and 4. I got married at 18, had my babies at 19 and 22, and adopted my stepson (the 10-year-old). I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who makes a good living that enabled me to be a stay-at-home mom until I decided to go back to work/school last year. PEOPLE, however, seem to have opinions and assumptions about everything!


Aside from dirty looks, you would not believe some of the comments I've gotten. When I'm out with my kids, I've heard comments like, "Haven't you ever heard of birth control?" and "Wow, I guess you must be Catholic!" People have made assumptions that I rely on public assistance and made derogatory comments. (And yes, I wear my wedding ring!) I am not the type that can come up with a snappy response on the spot, so I've always just responded with an icy glare, and that usually shuts them up.

Just remember this: These people know nothing about you, and what they think means absolutely nothing!!! Just take care of your baby and your family and don't worry about anybody else's opinions.

I'm sorry to hear about your accident. I hope John makes a speedy recovery.
 
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4crazycats

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Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

I hope John is feeling better
He sounds like a good guy! Any news on the insurance? I hope all goes well with your claim. / About that lady- eww...she better be glad I wasn't there with you....I can't stand rude people who make such distasteful comments. I'm sorry that heifer made you cry. You don't deserve to be treated in such a mean way. Well, I for one think you are going to be a great mommy- as do many other of your friends here on TCS!
Prove those rude people wrong! You are a strong, graceful woman and you are going to be a good mommy to that little one.
(Have you picked a definite name yet?)
Thanks! You guys are so Awesome! John is honestly the best guy I ever met. He's just soooo nice and sweet! His whole family is the same way. I could seriously se myself withhim forever.
Well I helped him fill out some of his insurance stuff. He called them too from the hospital. But he hasnt heard back from them. My health insuranse covered a little over half of my ER bill. Plus all of the stuff at my regular doctor. So I still have to pay the ER 2,000 some. Which isnt horrible I guess. The insurance company said I will have to go to small claims and get the rest of the money for the ER visit from the person who hit us. I'm gonna talk to the lawyer I went to about how to deal with the situation with Stan Thursday and see what he says. Thank you again. I hope I will be a good mom. Its kinda scarey though. Well I think I'm pretty sure LOL its going to be Alaina Rose. John likes it better then Kaelyn Jayde and I really couldnt choose. Most of my family liked Alaina better. I liked them both equally. So I think I chose Alaina Rose. Or maybe Alaina Jayde.
 
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4crazycats

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Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

I do the same thing when I go to the gas station or anywhere there are a lot of men hanging around (certain stores, etc). I always switch the ring on my right hand to my ring finger and if anyone says anything.....i'm like "nope, sorry, i'm happily married to a wonderful police officer"
that always shuts them up
I always just say sorry I'm taken. It really bugs me when guys are so obvious. John wasnt obvious at all. LOL I had no idea he even liked me. Or I guess I could have been a bit dense. Anyways Thats a good thing to be able to say. I dont think saying nope sorrry I'm happily married to a wonderul carpet layer would work as well as a police officer.
 
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4crazycats

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Originally Posted by Delilah_Blue

I'm new here and I don't mean to barge in, but I can completely relate to what you're dealing with. I'm 26, and my kids are 10, 7, and 4. I got married at 18, had my babies at 19 and 22, and adopted my stepson (the 10-year-old). I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who makes a good living that enabled me to be a stay-at-home mom until I decided to go back to work/school last year. PEOPLE, however, seem to have opinions and assumptions about everything!


Aside from dirty looks, you would not believe some of the comments I've gotten. When I'm out with my kids, I've heard comments like, "Haven't you ever heard of birth control?" and "Wow, I guess you must be Catholic!" People have made assumptions that I rely on public assistance and made derogatory comments. (And yes, I wear my wedding ring!) I am not the type that can come up with a snappy response on the spot, so I've always just responded with an icy glare, and that usually shuts them up.

Just remember this: These people know nothing about you, and what they think means absolutely nothing!!! Just take care of your baby and your family and don't worry about anybody else's opinions.

I'm sorry to hear about your accident. I hope John makes a speedy recovery.
Thank You! Your post was very encouraging to me. I also have a hard time coming up with replies on the spot. I always think of them later and think awww man I wish I had thought of that then. Of course I probably would regret it.
 

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I also look very young for a 20 year old if i have my hair in a different style most people will presume i am under 18.

Your reply should be "why thank you for complimenting how young i look! atleast i wont age quicker than other people"
This makes them think twice about judging and they do end up feeling bad about the comment they made!

I said this comment 2 weeks ago to a couple who were commenting that under 18 year olds shouldnt play the lotto, and that they were going to sue the guy at the kiosk because he was selling it to me..
I just smiled and and said that comment. Then i added that i was 20, and that the police is just 2 houses away from here if they wanted to make a complaint.
The lady was so embarrased, the guy just stuck his head up and started to make his order and the kiosk guy just smirked!
Mind you i dont even play the lotto! its for my mum!


When someone is mean to you, you dont need to be rude back, you can just be as kind and use head drilling words
 

KitEKats4Eva!

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I'm sorry but


I cannot possibly imagine the gall of one person being so rude and unfeeling, but this has happened to you often???? I am just so amazed. I cannot belive anyone could be like that! I don't know what I would do if someone came up to me and thought that they had any right to question me or criticise me like that!

You know what I would do? The next time someone does that, ask them politely what they mean. What basis do they have for making such comments? If you are genuinely interested they will have no choice but to answer you, and in so doing examine themselves. For example, if they say, `Well you are obviously 16 and not married'. You can say, `Well, I am actually 20 and engaged. And I got engaged before I got pregnant. I don't have a ring because I don't think that's important. It's my relationship with my fiance and my child that matters'. (Even if it's not true, it might make them realise that you should never, ever judge someone you don't know - who knows what kind of life you have?)

I know what I would really like to say but it's probably not appropriate for this site!

Good for you for keeping your head together and don't ever, ever let people judge you or make you feel bad like that. They have no life, obviously, and so get their kicks out of making other people feel small.
 

dixie_darlin

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Oh iI remember those days too. I was 18 when I was pregnant with my oldest son but, I was married. I got pregnant with him 4 months after I got married.People gave me the dirtiest looks. Then when I was pregnant with Deacon at 22 years old I had this older lady, probably in her 70's scoff at me and say "Babies having babies" and shook her head. I looked her dead in the face and said "How old were YOU when you had YOUR first child?!" She says "19" I laughed and said "HA! I'm 22 so bite me" and walked away. She was SO ticked off.
Then once when I was in Wal-Mart with both the boys in the cart, they were about 2 and 6, this man shook his head at me because they were both whining and in a grumpy mood because I wouldn't buy them candy and HIS wife was taking FOREVER at the jewelry counter, he says to me "Maybe if you were a little bit older when you had them, you could control them".
I looked him dead in the face and said "Oh, you mean YOUR age? Because I could send them home with YOU for a day and see if YOU can do any better. Besides it's YOUR wife who's taking her sweet time being a picky old hag about what brand of battery is put in her watch." He was more then mad at me
But I loved it!
 

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Unfortunately there are always people that will judge you..people do suck sometimes, ust try to ignore it. Obviously their life isn't peachy if they have to waste time judging you.


I'm glad Johnis doing better...you should let him know the cat people say



 

lovemycodygirl

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Holy crap! I can not believe someone said that to you! THAT is exactly why I hate people too. Some need to just mind their own business and not judge people. I would have just laughed and said, "Thanks for the compliment...but aren't YOU a little old to having a baby?" HAHAHA! That would have knocked socks off!


Wishing you much luck with everything.
 

neetanddave

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That old saying that seems to have been forgotten by most people:

"Never judge a person til you've walked a mile in their shoes."
 
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