I hate people!

Glad to hear John is doing better. I imagine he is getting tired of just laying there, but it's necessary. Plus, it is frustrating having to rely on someone to take care of your personal needs after years of doing it yourself! (I speak from recent experience. I had an accident in April.)

I cannot believe anyone could judge anyone without knowing the full background of a situation!

I'm not married to my partner, nor are we engaged, or have children together or are pregnant and we both look way younger than my 28 years and his 30 years but yet people (and I'm going to add my family in that catagory!) still comment on the fact that my partner has had 2 son's both by different mothers! It infuriates me to think that anyone could be so blinkered! My grandmother is the worst culprit of them all... she has never met either children nor my partner (they've just moved from Africa to Scotland so she's never had the opportunity to mee him) but yet she cannot understand how he'll ever be able to support both his children, me and the children we have together ever!!!!!

Yes, my partner was very young when his first son was born (19 years - Matthew is now 11) but he'd been with his partner at the time for 4 years and she didn't even realise she was pregnant until she went into labour (yes she was alittle on the chubby side and was on the injection for contraception so she didn't have a knock from the cheery painters!) and his second one (Harry is 5 and just a cutie but also his mothers child!!) was a complete set-up by the childs mother (from the stories she'd told on how badly she wanted to keep him when things started to go wrong... I wouldn't have put it past her to have pricked the condoms - which I might add my partner always always insists on even after 3 years we've been together!).

When we walk down the street or at the shops as a family, we get the dirtiest looks and the meanest comments by members of the older community sometimes directed at me!!!!!!! (Our area we live in is notorious of unwed teenage mothers so the younger crowd seem to accept it... it's the older minority that never will!) I do not treat either boys as if they weren't ours made out of our love together! I do not favour one more than the other. I do not judge either mothers on their ability to bring up their children in the correct way - although I do give some sound and appropriate advice when I think it it needed (especially Harry's mother - yeah she loves him but I think she's still trying to find herself and getting drunk and partying can occasionally be more important to her and her partner than where or who Harry is with!), and being an owner of a creche does give me credibility where childcare is involved!. I do not judge the situations that either boy was concieved in as my life was completely different to my partners when I was at that age. I respect both mothers for allowing me to be the "other mom" in the boys lives and I have earned their respect as a result of my time with the boys!

Honey, nothing, and I mean nothing is more important than your beautiful little baba you've got growing in your belly! You are so very lucky to have John who stands by you and is man enough to accept that he'll do all he can to provide for you and your child (even knowing he isn't the dad...) He is more of a father than Stan ever will be! He has my utmost respect because of that (ps... your cat people are really glad he's looking after you so much, even though he's chained to that darn hospital bed!). You have also won me over with your sheer determination of proving to all that you are going to be a brilliant mommy and all the love you are already showing for your little girl!

I can't imagine being that rude..........some people!!

aww Sorry that lady was mean to you. Yes people can be very unkind at times I went threw the same thing when i was preg too. I had my first boy at 20 and my 2nd at 22 and i am going on 25 now and still look too young i guess cuz people still look at me and say things they really shouldnt say. But the thing is to just tell them to mind there buss. or just dont listen to them. Just focus on you and your family and have a heathy happy baby those other people just see and asume they know it all and should really think before they talk about others in a bad way. Oh yeah congrads on being preg too.

here is a pic of me just 3 months ago. So i know how you feel people just look and think they know you age but they dont. Just think of it in a good way when you do get really old it will be a plus to look so young you will be thankful then Hope everything works out for you you seem so sweet and kind hearted. That is going to be one lucky baby to have such a caring and kind mannered mommy. Congrads again

I'd like to offer my services as a professional rude person for hire. For a small nominal fee (say, a batch of oatmeal peanut butter cookies), I can be called upon to follow you around and provide witty retorts to any jerk who doesn't know enough to keep his/her mouth shut and mind his/her own darn business. I have absolutely no qualms about saying hurtful but funny things to other people, regardless of their age, social status or supposed superiority to me, and I'm known for taking others down a peg or two. For an additional fee (say, a batch of chocolate cookies), my very tall, very broad-shouldered and extremely witty fiance can also accompany you on your outings, and between the two of us, we ought to be able to shoot down (verbally, I mean, not literally!) anyone who suffers from a terminal case of foot-in-mouth disease.

Seriously, though, try not to care what those other people say or think. You're an adult. You've made responsible decisions that you can live with. You're taking care of yourself and your baby. You have nothing to be ashamed of, so don't demean or belittle yourself by taking the opinions and actions of rude people to heart. As for your age ... Hon, there are people in their 30s and 40s I wouldn't trust to take care of my plants, much less my cats or my (future) children; age has nothing to do with your ability to raise and care for your child. Take care of yourself, and if all else fails, when someone says something rude and you can't think of an appropriate (or even horribly inappropriate) response, just smile at them and imagine their head exploding.

Originally Posted by Mirinae

if all else fails, when someone says something rude and you can't think of an appropriate (or even horribly inappropriate) response, just smile at them and imagine their head exploding.

Click to expand...

Hell that advice is something I'm going to keep in memory PLUS!

What a wonderful way of dealing with "odd" people! I love it!

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

Oh iI remember those days too. I was 18 when I was pregnant with my oldest son but, I was married. I got pregnant with him 4 months after I got married.People gave me the dirtiest looks. Then when I was pregnant with Deacon at 22 years old I had this older lady, probably in her 70's scoff at me and say "Babies having babies" and shook her head. I looked her dead in the face and said "How old were YOU when you had YOUR first child?!" She says "19" I laughed and said "HA! I'm 22 so bite me" and walked away. She was SO ticked off.

Then once when I was in Wal-Mart with both the boys in the cart, they were about 2 and 6, this man shook his head at me because they were both whining and in a grumpy mood because I wouldn't buy them candy and HIS wife was taking FOREVER at the jewelry counter, he says to me "Maybe if you were a little bit older when you had them, you could control them".

I looked him dead in the face and said "Oh, you mean YOUR age? Because I could send them home with YOU for a day and see if YOU can do any better. Besides it's YOUR wife who's taking her sweet time being a picky old hag about what brand of battery is put in her watch." He was more then mad at me

But I loved it!

Click to expand...

I'm sorry- but both of those stories are HILARIOUS! I only hope that I can think of something so funny if I'm ever in that situation....

I seriuosly cannot believe people say those type of things to pregnant women!!!!!!! I had no clue!! I asked my friend Mel, who had her first daughter out of wedlock (married to daddy now) when she was 18, and she said she had lots of rude comments too!

I just can't believe it... Ya know- I'm all for not disrespecting my elders and I typically would keep my mouth shut when someone says something rude just because I usually can't think of anything smart to say back- but when an elder says something disrespectful to me, all bets are off. If you want respect you have to earn it, and I don't think some people should be given respect strictly because they are older than me, especially when they think they can be rude when ever they want!

Anyway- I've been following all of your stories & am glad to hear things are looking good for all three of you! I hope John is released soon!

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

Thanks! You guys are so Awesome! John is honestly the best guy I ever met. He's just soooo nice and sweet! His whole family is the same way. I could seriously se myself withhim forever.

Well I helped him fill out some of his insurance stuff. He called them too from the hospital. But he hasnt heard back from them. My health insuranse covered a little over half of my ER bill. Plus all of the stuff at my regular doctor. So I still have to pay the ER 2,000 some. Which isnt horrible I guess. The insurance company said I will have to go to small claims and get the rest of the money for the ER visit from the person who hit us. I'm gonna talk to the lawyer I went to about how to deal with the situation with Stan Thursday and see what he says. Thank you again. I hope I will be a good mom. Its kinda scarey though. Well I think I'm pretty sure LOL its going to be Alaina Rose. John likes it better then Kaelyn Jayde and I really couldnt choose. Most of my family liked Alaina better. I liked them both equally. So I think I chose Alaina Rose. Or maybe Alaina Jayde.

Click to expand...

I think that is a beautiful name . I'm glad that your insurance is covering a good bit of the bill- that is always good. Good luck getting the rest back in court- I hope all goes well with that (you can also sue for the court costs and lost wages for days you had to miss...). I'm sure John will be doing better in no time! I'm sure he's restless though not being able to move...I know I would be lol. He sounds like a very good guy! Also, try not to doubt your motherly skills soo much little miss! You are going to be a wonderful mom and you are going to have a beautiful child to spend the rest of your life with loving and raising. No worries- everything will turn out well

Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva!

I'm sorry but

I cannot possibly imagine the gall of one person being so rude and unfeeling, but this has happened to you often???? I am just so amazed. I cannot belive anyone could be like that! I don't know what I would do if someone came up to me and thought that they had any right to question me or criticise me like that!
.

Click to expand...

You know what? I take flack from people for being ENGAGED! I'm 21, but I must look 15 because I get comments like "But you're too young to get married!" on a daily basis and have heard things like "So I see you've found yourself a sugar daddy" which leads me to assume that these people assume I've bagged a much older man to take care of me forever. Well ya know what people?! Ian is a whopping 2 months older than I am! And getting married doesn't even have the same implications as say, a 14 year old getting pregnant, which I'm assuming is what these @#$%^&s are wrongfully assuming about you, 4crazycats!

Honestly, just polite them to death, as my fther tells me. Just smile and say very nicely "May I ask what you mean by that?" or "Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way".

It's just so sad that some people feel everyone should live life THEIR way and that that is the ONE TRUE ONLY way to live. I mean, I personally shouldn't be trusted with an infant at this point in my life, but that makes me RESPECT and ADMIRE you, not look down upon you! You're an adult, you're taking care of yourself and your baby. You get to make your own choices and as long as those choices harm nothing or nobody, you're all good to go.

In those situations, I think it's not rude to stick up for yourself, and I'm afraid sarcasm would set in...

"Thank you! Please give me your phone number and address so I can contact you whenever I need advice!"

"Oh, gosh, if you'd have told me that __ months ago, I wouldn't be pregnant now!"

"That's exactly what I told YOU when you were pregnant!" (Even if she's 90 years old.)

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Unfortunately there are always people that will judge you..people do suck sometimes, ust try to ignore it. Obviously their life isn't peachy if they have to waste time judging you.

I'm glad Johnis doing better...you should let him know the cat people say

Click to expand...

I told him all the cat people said Hey! He said he's gonna sneak on here when I'm at work after he gets home so that he can see how someone can talk about cats so much. If he does I'm afraid he will get a big head! LOL Thanks everyone for all your great stories! They were all very funny. I will definatly use some of your replies.

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

I think that is a beautiful name

.Also, try not to doubt your motherly skills soo much little miss! You are going to be a wonderful mom and you are going to have a beautiful child to spend the rest of your life with loving and raising. No worries- everything will turn out well

Click to expand...

Thanks! I think its a very good name too. I try not too. I mean I've been a nanny for 2 years now. But not to a tiny newborn! Kaidence was already 2 when I started watching him. A baby is just soooo tiny!

Originally Posted by lionessrampant

I personally shouldn't be trusted with an infant at this point in my life, but that makes me RESPECT and ADMIRE you, not look down upon you! You're an adult, you're taking care of yourself and your baby. You get to make your own choices and as long as those choices harm nothing or nobody, you're all good to go.

Click to expand...

Thank you!

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

I told him all the cat people said Hey! He said he's gonna sneak on here when I'm at work after he gets home so that he can see how someone can talk about cats so much. If he does I'm afraid he will get a big head! LOL Thanks everyone for all your great stories! They were all very funny. I will definatly use some of your replies.

Click to expand...

I hope he's ok. I had a broken pelvis & they're kinda hard to recover from.

Originally Posted by kluchetta

I hope he's ok. I had a broken pelvis & they're kinda hard to recover from.

Click to expand...

It sounds like its gonna take a long time for him to heal. So he's gonna be off work for a while. How long did it take you to heal completely?

I can really relate because I was 16 when I had my son. I am now married to his father, but even the older people within my family were rude.

I just learned that most of those old people are like that because their lives are so empty that they feel the need to micromangage other peoples lives. I'm sorry, but I don't believe that you have to be married before you have children and just because YOU do doesn't mean it applies to every other person in this world!

I still get those dirty looks because I still look young (I'm 20 now) and I've got this 3.5 year old on my hip all the time. It's just something I've gotten used to unfortunately.

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

Thanks! I think its a very good name too. I try not too. I mean I've been a nanny for 2 years now. But not to a tiny newborn! Kaidence was already 2 when I started watching him. A baby is just soooo tiny!

Thank you!

Click to expand...

You're going to be fine. After all, you had practice with Bagheera and he was very tiny.

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

I really didnt know what to say so I was just sitting there looking at her. Sarah (Johns sister) looked her up and down and said Why dont you mind your own business lady. I dont think anyone asked for your opinion. That lady's face was PRICELESS!

I wish I could just speak up for myself like that. But I was raised to be polite and not argue with anyone. Especially someone older then me. So I have a really big problem with that. That's just one time someone said something like that. I really wish people would just keep their mouths shut. Ive even started to cry a couple times because people have said such mean things to me. One woman said I feel sorry for your parents because you know you cant take care of that baby and they will end up with it. One man said I should have had an abortion! Why cant people just be nice? Havnt they ever heard if you cant think of anything nice to say dont say anything!

Click to expand...

You might try what I do, I find it usually shuts nosey people up and preserves my own preference for civility. Of course, your mileage may vary.

Here's what I do:

1. Look the person in the face for several seconds.
2. Then, in my most dry grown-up voice (imagine you are an aristocrat) I say politely "Have we been introduced?" (remember, don't preface this with "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me"). Usually people will splutter something like "No..." and continue with their rant at this point.
3. Then, I stand up if I'm not already standing, then smile a brittle smile, give a small nod and say "Good Day" before moving off.

Originally Posted by Mirinae

I'd like to offer my services as a professional rude person for hire.

For a small nominal fee (say, a batch of oatmeal peanut butter cookies), I can be called upon to follow you around and provide witty retorts to any jerk who doesn't know enough to keep his/her mouth shut and mind his/her own darn business. I have absolutely no qualms about saying hurtful but funny things to other people, regardless of their age, social status or supposed superiority to me, and I'm known for taking others down a peg or two. For an additional fee (say, a batch of chocolate cookies), my very tall, very broad-shouldered and extremely witty fiance can also accompany you on your outings, and between the two of us, we ought to be able to shoot down (verbally, I mean, not literally!) anyone who suffers from a terminal case of foot-in-mouth disease.

Click to expand...

Sounds good when can you come?

Originally Posted by Satai

You might try what I do, I find it usually shuts nosey people up and preserves my own preference for civility. Of course, your mileage may vary.

Here's what I do:

1. Look the person in the face for several seconds.
2. Then, in my most dry grown-up voice (imagine you are an aristocrat) I say politely "Have we been introduced?" (remember, don't preface this with "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me"). Usually people will splutter something like "No..." and continue with their rant at this point.
3. Then, I stand up if I'm not already standing, then smile a brittle smile, give a small nod and say "Good Day" before moving off.

Click to expand...

I like this. It would be perfect for you. You don't need to engage them or fight them.