Ask a guy out.. Or wait for him to ask??

trouts mom

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Alright, so without going into so much detail...

What does everyone think...ladies and gents:

Should a girl make the first move as in asking a guy out....or should she wait for the guy to ask??

These are my thoughts...I would be afraid the girl seems desperate if she asks the guy out...but also, the girl doesn't want to wait much longer for this guy to get up the guts to ask her...

Lets say the girl is pretty sure he's interested...and she is TIRED of waiting, she has only talked to him twice, but both times were very lovely.

BUT she would like to keep her pride and would rather not chase a guy, so to speak..

Opinions?
 

miagi's_mommy

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I am always shy around guys and wait until they ask me out.
it just depends if you are shy or not imo. if you're not then go for it!
 

MoochNNoodles

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Hmm....I'd say it depends on the guy. DH is so quiet, if I hadn't done some work myself, we may never have gotten together.

Let me put it this way. First I flirted shamelessly with him for a while. Then finally one day a person we only knew for a short time just went up to him (with me present and just as unsuspecting!) and said someting along the lines of 'You know you like eachother why don't you just ask her out and get it over with?' Except it took her like 20 minutes. DH was blushing so bad he was purple! I later asked him how long he thought it would have taken him to ask me out, he said probably about a year.
Fortunately it didn't take so long with her help! We were engaged 10 months later!

Moral of my story, sometimes ya gotta do a little 'work.'
 

katl8e

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I ask guys out. Just remember: the one who does the asking also does the paying. Start slow, maybe a coffee/soda date and progress from there.
 

lunasmom

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Believe me...just ask him out. Otherwise you could be waiting around forever, driving yourself nuts on why oh lord why hasn't he asked you out yet.

Besides, I think its more "desparate" when a woman starts to dress up around a guy just to get his attention and get asked out. Then the guy doesn't notice you or isn't that into you so you throw in something else to catch his eye...maybe even through in a little ditzy...that's desparate compared to what you're asking.

If you don't ask him out, then will you ever have a say in the relationship?
 

lovemybabies

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I beat my ex to the chase and asked him out first! We were together for almost 4 years. He thought it was really cool that I asked him out first.
 

theimp98

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it will depend on the guy.
It always made me smile when the lady would give me her phone number with out me asking, or when she would ask me to join her for coffee.

I never found anything desperate, about her asking anymore then when i used to ask.
 

sibohan2005

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If you don't want to live you whole life waiting it's better to ask yourself. Men are not all that perceptive ladies... and I'm sure i'm not the only girl to come to that conclusion.
The more I know about men, the more I like my cats.
 

fwan

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I dont think its that hard to ask them to go out for a coffee is it?
 
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trouts mom

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Alright so, the consensus is that I should just ask him out, or give him my number...

My next question is...I've only talked to him twice...is this too soon to make a move?? I've asked Tracy (Miss Mew), and she said she doesn't think its too soon...but I'm a nervous wreck do I need more guidance please..
 

alaynna

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it depends on how shy the guy is....Jason is the one who called and asked me out....but believe me he was very shy so if he had waited longer...then I probably would of asked him out...
 

callista

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Ask him to do something very casual--a lunch, or church, or coffee somewhere. That way it is less threatening to him that you are taking the first step.
 

mooficat

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Oh how exciting ................if you feel that nervous - is there any chance theres a social "do" where you both might attend..........I dont know the circumstances, but you know, a charity do, a works meeting, a Halloween bash.............maybe you could organise something and ask him along !!
Go for it girl ! times a wasting !!
 

catsknowme

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Originally Posted by mooficat

Oh how exciting ................if you feel that nervous - is there any chance theres a social "do" where you both might attend..........I dont know the circumstances, but you know, a charity do, a works meeting, a Halloween bash.............maybe you could organise something and ask him along !!
Go for it girl ! times a wasting !!
IMO, that is a good approach!

And I have found that the guys who are more aggressive at asking a girl out are often "in the chase", and as often as not, they tend to do the exciting, in-love,new-love wonderful "dating connection" for some months, then lose interest (actually have found new pursuits) and give the "it's not you, it's me" speech, and re-neg on just about every nice, wonderful thing they said or did to make the lady fall in love with them. They are like dogs who come with a price - somebody else can offer the dog a nice treat or biscuit and the dog will quickly snap at the chance of enjoying the goody; I really enjoy the cats' attitude - "Yeah, it's my favorite flavor of treat all right, it's just the person offering it that I object to", followed by the unmovable stare or the dignified walk-off.
 
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