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Emotion Support NEEDED ASAP Please!

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Hello Everyone Reading! I'm so happy that I joined this site becase as a new cat owner I've gotten so muich help and good advice, plus many ideas from reading other posts. This one here is in regards to me and my cat, Pickles. She is VERY spoiled (meaning having every cat toy out there, and sharing meal with me, a taste here and there depending if its safe) Anyways, I've been having emotional attachment problems with her. Im on anti-depressents and anxiety meds as it is already, not due to this issue, just wanted to let you know that thats not the answer for me on this. She has watched robins in a nest that we had...3 batches of eggs, the babies all came and gone and she LOVED sitting and watching them. Shes an indoor cat but i do take her out on a leash...she's been out about 5 times already. But now the weather is getting chilly and she doesnt understand that i dont want her to go out there, so what do i do when she sits and meows at the door. That makes me VERY SAD for her. Plus now due to no robins being there, I put up 4 bird feeders in front of the deck so she can watch them out the patio window, and i have a blanket she can even sit on. She meows at that too because its like she wants to go outside. It just seems to me, that i'm not giving her what she needs...even though she is the most cared for cat i know around here. At work, I ACTUALLY start tearing up and crying because i think to myself that she is home all alone, and is lonely. Another cat isnt in the question because my boyfriend will not let me get another one. I'm lucky to have gotten this one...I adopted her from the humane society because she was a stray. She is such a sweet cute cat. She waits for me at the door when she hears my garage door open when i get home from work, and then stands on her hind legs to be picked up. Such an AWESOME cat. Does anyone though have any ADVICE FOR ME???? I really could use the support badly!!! Thank you so very much for being on this site and helping people out there. I dont know what I would have done in some situations w/o you all here. Thank you again!
post #2 of 23
how long have you been on the meds? Those meds are heavy-duty and a lot of people fail to realize that because they are so common. They can really wreack havoc on a person's emotions. I think your best bet is to talk to your doctor and tell him the kind of adverse effects you are having. There are a lot of different kinds of drugs out there.... obviously this one may not be the best option.
post #3 of 23
Sweetie, settle down. She's OK first of all. I hate to say this to you but cats spend most of their time alone sleeping.

Pickles loves you and that is so very important. It sounds like she loves to interact with you. That's great. So let's see where we stand:

She has a roof over her head, she has food and water in her belly, she has interactive tv (the birds), she has toys to die for......honey what more do you want to do? You've done it all. You just need not to get on yourself so much.

(((((hugs)))) and vibes and happy headbuts and sweet licks from KittenKiya's Clan.
post #4 of 23
If the only reason you aren't taking her out is because of the cold I don't think a few minutes each day would hurt her. I'd say no more than 5-10 depending on how cold it is and if there's snow clear a path so her pads don't get frost bit. Of course cats mew at lots of things. It doesn't mean they aren't happy... besides... do you get everything you want? He sounds like a well loved kitty who's taking advantage od the fact that you spoil him. It's perfectly ok for him to not get his way once in awhile. If you really want him to stop crying I would discourage him from birdwatching... but I bet he'd rather have that and not be able to go out than have no birds to watch at all. I hope that helps.
post #5 of 23
I agree that the cat is fine. She is happy if she runs to play with you after work.
I play with my cat before going to work and after I get home. She likes to sleep on my lap while I am at the computer.
You don't have to worry about not having another cat, single cats can do very well. Your girl is happy since she has a home and she has you.
So you should look to your own health and happiness...cheer up because you know you are making a difference to this cat's life, and she will help to cheer you up as well. Just pick her up, pet her, and let those nice purrs help calm you down...
I'd also talk to your friends or doctor.
post #6 of 23
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by PawPrinter View Post
how long have you been on the meds? Those meds are heavy-duty and a lot of people fail to realize that because they are so common. They can really wreack havoc on a person's emotions. I think your best bet is to talk to your doctor and tell him the kind of adverse effects you are having. There are a lot of different kinds of drugs out there.... obviously this one may not be the best option.
Yes, But the meds are not the issue on this, ive been on anti-depressents for about 7 years now. And have been just fine on them. the anxiety is only for when needed. I just am extremely attached to my cat, and cant leave him to go on trips or nothing. i do get people to watch her when i did have summer trips, but i feel guilty so easily over things with her.
post #7 of 23
What you just explained is why I think it is better to never take your cats outside unless you intend for them to be inside outside cats.

I wouldn't take him out anymore, I would just say sorry, and eventually he will stop asking. and then don't do it again next summer unless you want to go through all this again. If you really want him to experience the outside, maybe you could get one of those enclosed yard things. I don't know what they are, just read about them.

another cat friend would be ideal, and how can your boyfriend to not allow you to do something? Unless it is his house and he is supporting you, but even then, I would have a real hard time with him forbidding me to do get another cat. If he feels that way about cats, are you sure he is someone you want to be with? Maybe you can sweet talk him, he doesn't really mean it.does he like the one you have now? I remember my boyfreind said he didn't like cats, but since he got to know mine, he loves them. He always plays with them, and they run to him when he comes over. Spike jumps on his lap, head butts him and purrs.

Anyway, don't worry about your kitty, he will be fine the way things are, but I would discontinue the outdoor visit, but keep all the feeders and stuff outside the window. My cats love that.
post #8 of 23
I agree that you don't need to take the cat outside. They are put in great danger when you do this.
And if you can't have another cat, don't worry! She really is fine with you.
post #9 of 23
Thread Starter 
You all are so great to me. thank you for everything. Yes that is true. She has a roof over her head, every toy to die for. just got her one of those carpet tubes that stands on the platform that SHE LOVES!!!!!! She eats my plants..the safe ones. Love to watch the birds. But yes, when she meows to go outside, maybe shes just doing it because shes happy, and wants the birds to come back. Right now she is sleeping next to me on the chair by the computer, and when i take a shower i put a towel on the toilet, and she lays there and waits for me to get done. Shes the best thing that has happened to me. So, i think shes fine alone. I just worry that shes lonely while im at work, but if i didnt work, she wouldnt have what she has. She gets dry and wet cat food, and treats. Plus tastes of what im eating sometimes. I NEED to try and get a picture of her up here. But yes from what you all said, i think shes doing just great, i just am a worry wart. When she waits for me to walk in the door, and then climps to me, purrs and does the little kneading things with her paws, it makes all the stress from work go away. And maybe when im outside feeding the birds and she looks through the patio window and i can see her mouth opening because shes meowing, i shouldnt be sad, maybe shes just saying hi. I would especially like to thank KittenKiya, gizmocat, and twstychik. Your messages really moved me. And to gailuvscats, my boyfriend just thinks the one cat is enough i guess. Trust me...the house is full of cat toys. Thank you agian everyone, and feel free to give more advice. Love ya all!!!!
post #10 of 23
ahhh I see.... kind of misunderstood the initial post I guess.

Our calico, Anabel, was a single cat up until July when we adopted PollyAnna. She did perfectly fine. I know how you feel, though, when you feel so guilty that they're lonely. But cats spend up to 16 hours a day (I think I read somewhere) sleeping. You have an excellent bond, so she won't think she's being left or anything. I set up a little suctioc cup-hanger for a bell of bird seed on our glass back screen door so the birds will come right up to the door. Our kitties are strictly indoor ONLY, so this allows them to "hunt" within the safety of their living room. Keeps them occupied for a while then they go busy themselves with something else, usually a catnip pillow or something. Cats are resourceful little critters
post #11 of 23
I also think you are doing a wonderful job with Pickles! I can't wait to see a picture of her. Keep up the good work!
post #12 of 23
It is hard leaving them sometimes, but when I found out that mine missed me so much during the day all they did was sleep, it got much easier. They are a bunch of lazybones around here, and it's probably the same with Pickles.!
post #13 of 23
Originally Posted by Pickles81 View Post
It just seems to me, that i'm not giving her what she needs...even though she is the most cared for cat i know around here. At work, I ACTUALLY start tearing up and crying because i think to myself that she is home all alone, and is lonely.
I believe your baby has everything she needs!! A loving home,food,toys, and a wonderful meowmy that worries about her and loves her deeply,as your statement above clearly proves. And you know she feels the same way!
post #14 of 23
Hello again, thanks for the compliments...

My Gizmo loves to play when I'm home, and I make time to do so since she's alone all day. She has toys and I know she uses them, and I know she is safe.
and if your Pickles is doing the kitty massage/happy feet with you when you come home, she really loves you! The only thing you didn't mention was drooling...and this is another kitty compliment.

you have a very happy girl. Do not worry about her being indoors--she's safer there. And she's doing you a lot of good, too. I think cats are known as 'fur therapy' for a reason--Gizmo has kept me calm on numerous occasions.

Pets to Pickles! that lucky girl.
post #15 of 23
After the loss of Sheba I told DH that the next cat was strictly indoors-that of course didn't last long. Bakker is severly restricted compared to the other cats in his time outside. DH is usually the one who leaves him outside and will sit at the kitchen door "hoping" to go outside.
Remember cats sleep about 80% of the time so your kitty is most likely napping for the major part of the day while you are gone-ready for some serious playtime when you get home!!!
BTW Welcome another WI TCS member-I grew up in Wausau!!
post #16 of 23
Have you tried leaving the TV on for her while you are gone?That may make her less lonely.But, as others have mentioned,they sleep most of the day away anyways.
post #17 of 23
Frankie was an only kitty for 7 years and I'm 99% sure that all she did when I was at work was sleep. In fact that's all they do now even w/ the two of them. They both come to the door to greet me if they hear me soon enough but sometimes they're both still so sleepy that I make it inside in time to see them stretching to wake up and say hello to me.

It sound like you and Pickles are both greatly enriching eachothers lives... and that's exaclty what pets do. They make us feel better and we spoil them rotten in return. Can't wait to see pics!
post #18 of 23
Thread Starter 
I am so happy and very LUCKY to have found this site when i first adopted Pickles. All i have to do is call my cousin across the street to let me use her digital camera...and I will have pictures on here by tonight!!!! Pickles is the best thing ever and its like she talk to me all the time. If i say to her, like just this morning..."What you doing, my pickle baby, watching the birdies?" She replies with one of her little purry an owl hooting or something, its hard to explain. But I will get pics up here ASAP. Thank you again EVERYONE for all the great support and help. This site is fantastic!!!!!!!
post #19 of 23
Cats have an uncanny knack of making them believe that we are there to provide for their every need, of course, we do. Mine make me feel guilty all the time, but I know full well when I am not at home that they have a whale of a time. They sleep for England, they have already decided that the bed is theirs and they only rent it to us for a few short hours each day! They aren't happy with the restaurant hours and dearly wish that 24 hour room service was available, and let's not forget the little accidents, the odd broken ornament and of course the 'it wasn't me' look.

When I come back in my next life, it will be as a cat! hopefully I will find a suitably gullible human being who will cater for my every need, pay the bills feed me on demand and supply me with endless affection. You are doing everything you should for Pickles. Think about yourself a bit more you deserve it.
post #20 of 23
I had a similar worry wort experience just after I adopted my cat - she was a stray too and had been through some nasty experiences and I just wanted her to be happy - she's spoilt rotten and is so affectionate in return!!

I think, for me, it was about getting used to the responsibility of (for the first time in my life) having something so completely and solely dependant on me for everything she needs - made me super-stressed that I wasn't giving her enough (I work long hours too and travel a lot on business).

I'm getting better now, but it's taken 6 months for me to chill out and just enjoy her without constantly worrying if she's lonely / sick etc.

I think the important thing is to know you're doing your best for them - which is all you can do - and is so much more than they had before.
post #21 of 23
Thread Starter 
Hi everyone!! I have my new pictures of Pickles!!!! FINALLY, but how do i get them on the bottom of the posts like you guys always do???? Could some one explain it to me? do i need to have a webpage and signature and all of that good stuff. Thanks again guys for all your help!!!!
post #22 of 23
Thread Starter 
How can i also change that shes not a kitten anymore under my user name? Because shes not???? thank you
post #23 of 23
Hi Pickles.

The kitten under your username is because you are a kitten (usergroup) on this board. When you have a few more posts, it'll change automatically.

As for going out on her leash, you can take her out for just a couple minutes even if it is cold. Maybe she'll realize why you don't want her out when she realizes how cold she gets!

Cats are remarkably adaptable sometimes... just give her lots of playtime and love and any of the great suggestions you've been given, and she'll be fine!
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