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I Got Engaged!

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
(I posted this in the "Gonna Be Wed" thread, but since I feel like screaming it from the rooftops, I thought I'd start my own post, too. )

J proposed to me on Sunday (yesterday), our five-year anniversary. He was going to wait until we went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, but he got too excited and proposed first thing in the morning.

Right now I have a "placeholder" ring; it's very lovely, a large garnet with three small diamonds (possibly cubic zirconias -- it wasn't supposed to cost anywhere near the same amount as a traditional engagement ring) on either side, set in white-gold. The "real" ring is still in the process of being made because he's having it custom-designed through a man his family knows (this man did his sister's engagement ring and his aunt's 25th wedding anniversy ring -- both were bee-yoo-tee-full!). Unfortunately, the man had a heart attack a couple of months ago and has been laid up until fairly recently, and now that he's back to work (as of last week), he has a bit of a back-log. J wanted to propose on our 5th anniversary, so he couldn't wait for the ring and didn't want to just pick something from the jewelry store because he really liked the idea of a custom ring. I'm okay with that ... heck, I would've been okay waiting for the real ring, but his big concern was that when you tell people you're engaged, the first thing they ask is to see the ring and I'd have nothing to show them. Hence, the "placeholder" ring, which will go on my other hand once I have the "real" ring.

We haven't set a date yet. J's sister is getting married in July, so I don't want to steal her thunder and, really, I think one wedding a year is enough for his family to have to worry about! What I want -- and there's still some people to be convinced on this, but I think I might just put my foot down and say "I'm the bride! It's my wedding and we'll do it my way!" (hmmmph! so there!) -- is to fly off to some warm country like Cuba or Bermuda and get married on the beach. I want to wear a bikini and a sarong (I started Weight Watchers, so I'm already working on the "bikini" part of the plan ) and I don't want a big church wedding, especially since I'm not religious in the slightest (neither of us are). The other thing is, I have some relatives I strongly, intensely dislike, but who I would have to invite to a wedding here in Canada; if I have the wedding in another country, they couldn't afford to go. We could have a big reception when I got back, but for my special day, I don't want to have to listen to my misogynistic, twice-divorced uncle go off on how weddings are a sham and how all women are out to screw men over, or listen to my other uncle beg my grandmother for money she doesn't have. Does that make me a ? Because J's family is all big and close-knit, there's no way for him to NOT invite them; if he invites all of them, my mother's side of the family would be horribly insulted if THEY weren't all invited ... and I don't LIKE them. I don't want to take the risk that they'll say or do something -- and they will -- that will ruin what's supposed to be a special day for me and him.

Anyway ... Yay! I'm engaged!
post #2 of 21
Congratulations on your engagement!!

and whenever and however you have your wedding, I'm sure it will be beautiful and memorable
post #3 of 21


It's YOUR wedding do what YOU want to!

My mom and aunt planned my first wedding and it was horrible! Everything went wrong that you can think of. Dress was too long (after 4 fittings too), I tripped walking down the aisle. What started out to be only a 50 people wedding ended up being over 400 Everybody and thier brother was there... People I didn't even know! and it only lasted 4 years

My current DH and I got married at my mom's house. A best friend of mine is a notary so she married us.. It was us, my parents, the kids, and my MIL...8 people total... thats it! We had KFC as our reception. No honeymoon though...We had already been living together so really wasn't a use for it. It was on a Thursday night.. We woke up and went to work the next am.. It was SOOO much better and more intimate and we're going on 3 years now
post #4 of 21
Very, very Congratulations!!!!

post #5 of 21
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post #8 of 21
Congratulations Mirinae! That is so exciting that you're having a ring custom-made; what a lucky gal!
As far as your wedding goes...it is YOUR day (well, you and J's day, but mostly yours ). The two of you should decide on where and when (learning how to compromise NOW is very important, though after 5 years together I'm sure y'all are already way ahead in that department). As far as not inviting that one part of your family- if you don't really care about hurt feelings (and there will be some) and are sure that they'd cause a scene- don't invite them; who needs 'em? But if you're worried that NOT inviting them will cause even more drama, you may need to bite the bullet and invite them (but they more than likely wouldn't travel out of the country for a destination wedding). That's a big decision that really only you and J can make together.
post #9 of 21
Congratulations!!!!!! How exciting

As for the wedding - definitely do what you want, but people do want to celebrate with you, so if you have a beach wedding somewhere, make sure you have another celebration when you get back so all of your friends and family who really care about you can celebrate, and your "extra special" day can't be ruined by the annoying ones

Good luck!
post #10 of 21
post #11 of 21
Wow... I think I'll have to post my own too. LOL


I just got ungaged on the 5th and there are so many parallels. So, I'm off to start my own thread.
post #12 of 21
post #13 of 21

I can totally relate to your dilemma about where to have the wedding. I had my wedding in another country and was very fortunate that the people I DID want there were able to come. You don't want to p off his side of the family if they want to come and can't afford the money/time off. However, with enough advance warning (like you're planning on) should enable everyone to plan and save for it. The wedding becomes a big holiday for everyone.
post #14 of 21
post #15 of 21
Congrats!! That is amazing news!!!

OMG you must be so excited!!
post #16 of 21
Congratulations! I wish you many happy years together.
post #17 of 21

My fh and I are planning a "destination" wedding a couple of states away, and it worked wonders in terms of cutting down guests. You don't really have to go that far away.

Do what you WANT... it is SO important.
post #18 of 21
post #19 of 21

We're getting married in a week and we're not doing a church wedding either, neither of us is hugely religious...we are having the ceremony in one room of the party center and the reception in the next. The room with the ceremon has a big window and it's going to look great. Keep your options open and you'll find something wonderful.

I agree about not stealing the other bride's thunder...I'd come after you if it was me. lol, smart move on your part, let her keep her day special. Good luck to you and congrats!
post #20 of 21
How did I miss this??? Congratulations!
post #21 of 21
Congratulations!!! What awesome news! Enjoy EVERY minute it, the planning, picking out things, the togetherness...it goes by so quick!! Good luck to you both!
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