Odd Behavior After Returning from Vacation ~ Help

Hello ~ SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!

My husband and I just returned from being away from our cat (KitKat) for seven days. She is our first cat and we adopted her a few months ago in July. This is the first time that we left her alone and we were very stressed out about making sure we made the right decision for her care in our absence.

Of all of our choices (boarding, staying at home, or going to my mom's house), we decided KitKat would be happiest at home in her own surroundings. So she was home all week with someone checking in on her everyday to feed her, give her water, brush her, play with her, etc. Everyday, I'd get a call letting me know that she was doing well and was happy, purring, etc.

Well, last night when we got home (very late) from the airport, she was very happy to see us. After about an hour though, she started meowing and it went on for HOURS. She slept from about 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. and started meowing again. I am at work now, and I hope she is home sleeping and not stressed out. (The meowing sounded like she was feeling stress).

Some of you may have read my posts with questions when we first adopted KitKat. Our biggest concern with her was her constant meowing. It just never stopped. After a few months, it seemed like the meowing had slowed (never stopped), but we were at the point where she had a "routine" and she was letting us sleep through the night and the meowing wasn't as incessant.

Did our trip away from her throw us back to square one? The meowing is seriously non-stop and she is hoarse from meowing so much.

She isn't hungry, she is in good health, and she's been spayed (these are all pieces of advice I've gotten in the past - to see if she was hungry, sick, or had been spayed, so I know these are not the issues).

I worry that she maybe has an emotional problem, but I just don't know how that works with cats since I've never had a cat before. The vet said she just might be very anxious and that we could try medication as a last resort - but I truly don't want to put her on any medications if I don't need to.

Also, we've tried Feliway plug-ins for her and I really didn't notice a difference when using the plug in...

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

Yeah, you may have lost a little ground, but she'll probably re-adjust soon. She may have just missed you and maybe she was meowing all night while you were gone - since you got home very late she didn't get much of a chance to re-connect with you. Try to spend as much time with her as you can for the next few days (or until the meowing subsides) to help re-assure her.
I'd also stay away from medicatiing her - lots of love is a better prescription!

Thank you Tick-n-Thistle... I am just at my wit's end. I thought KitKat would be a little better when I got home from work last night, but she wasn't. She may even be a little worse. She has now started YOWLING. I just got to work a little while ago and I plan to call the vet momentarily.

We shower her with so much attention and we've tried to play with her, sooth her, etc. She is only interested in walking around the house meowing/yowling. I did get her to play for 10 minutes this morning before work, but she seems so distracted.

I've read that even if cats are spayed, they still may display behaviors of being in heat. Is that true? I guess I'm calling the vet now because not only do I feel bad for KitKat, but I feel like I can't get any rest and it's starting to affect me because her meowing/yowling is constant and frankly, it's becoming torture-some for me.

A couple of years ago I ended up in the hospital suddenly and had no other choice but to call around after the fact to have someone go in and check on my cats daily to make sure that they had food, water and clean kitty litter.

My youngest Abby only likes me, and is afraid of anyone else and will hide. Chynna the oldest is a social butterfly and will go wherever there is sure to be some lovings for her.

My brother and my caretaker reported that Abby wouldn't let them near her and that she stayed across the room laying against a wall and would run and hide if they approached her. So for 2 whole weeks my baby didn't get any human touch

When I got home 2 weeks later Abby was beside herself! She meowed and hovered and wouldn't let me out of her sight. It took her a few weeks to settle down. I think she had thought I had abandoned her. Even now, 2 years later if I happen to leave the room and she doesn't know, she walks around the apartment crying until I call her name and then she comes running.

For your peace of mind, I would get her to the vet. When cats are stressed they become ill. She could be ill now and trying to tell you so. Have the vet do a check of her blood and urine. The target organ for stress is the kidneys. She may not have handled the week separation as well as you thought she did.

Thanks... I've spoken to the vet and KitKat has an appt. to be checked. I'm also getting a Feliway plug-in refill on my lunch hour in the hope that it will help a bit with her anxiety (since the vet had me use that before).

I know there is a male outdoor cat in our neighborhood who likes to come around our house a lot since we adopted KitKat. He unfortunately sprays everywhere around our house (maddening). He doesn't seem to like me or my husband - he runs when he sees us. I'm wondering if he was around a lot all week since we weren't home and if that may have her stressed her out also. Whenever she sees him through the sliding glass doors, she gets very worked-up and starts this same kind of meowing. He actually comes onto our deck and looks into our kitchen. He's bold until he sees us. I have a feeling he was on the deck quite a bit while we were away. We haven't seen him since our return though.

KitKat is very friendly and loves everyone, so I know she got a lot of human contact while we were away. I think you are right though and she probably didn't like being alone so much. Even though we are at work all day, we are still with her all evening and all night, so I felt bad that she didn't have anyone around while we were on vacation.

Also, we think that she was abandoned (probably because of her meowing - since that is all she has done since we found her). So I am wondering if our leaving for vacation caused her to think she was abandoned again? We are patient people and we love her dearly. I think someone else wasn't as patient though... That's just what I'm thinking. Poor KitKat.

P.S. What does everyone do with their cats then when they go out of town??? Now I have no idea what is best for KitKat if we go on vacation again. We don't leave a lot - maybe one or two weeks out of the year total. I thought I spent a lot of time researching my options (over a month of research) and I thought leaving her at home with daily visits would be best for her. We may be going away again in January for a week. Now I have NO idea what to do and I'm already stressing out over it! I don't want to put her through this again... But do people just stop leading their normal lives once they have a pet?

Sorry for all of the questions and posts. I'm just new to all of this and I worry a lot. I want to make sure she is happy and healthy, but I also want to be happy and healthy too. I feel like my stress levels are through the roof!

Have you considered getting a second cat to keep KitKat company. I know this approach worked for us.
We also had a problem with our first cat, Andrei, who became very stressed out and stopped eating when we left him home to goon a one week vacation. I had a good friend come to our house twice a day to feed Andrei and to give him a little company. This was also a person who Andrei knew very well

Fortunately, KitKat is back to herself. I don't know if she just needed to re-adjust or if it was the Feliway plug-in and spray that I took home last night, but she was totally fine all evening and through the morning before I left for work. What a relief! I plan to cancel her vet appt. now. Since I am a novice with cats, do any of you long-time cat owners think I should still take her? I'm thinking that since the meowing/yowling has stopped, she is okay again...

Thanks Sarha - I must have posted my update at the same time that you posted... I thought about getting her a friend, but I'm not sure if we are ready to have two pets at this time. We have discussed it though. I think next time we go out of town, KitKat will go to stay with my mom and dad. At least that way she will never be alone since someone is always at home at my parents' house. I thought she'd be happy at our house in familiar surroundings, but in hindsight, I think she was just too lonely. She enjoyed her daily visits that she got and she was eating/acting normal - but I think she is just a "people cat" and she didn't do well with the lonlieness.

Sorry, i posted before I had finished my answer.

About 3 days into our cruise, we got a call from our friend letting us know that she had taken Drei to the vet because he wasn't eating and he wea barely drinking. the vet had to give Drei IV fluids to rehydrate him. Basically, the vet said that Andrei was having a stress reaction tobeing all alone, even though he was being very well cared for by our friend.

The vet suggested getting another pet, either a dog or a cat, for Andrei.

Anyway, we adopted Gracie, our calico lovebug, and she and Drei became buddies.
I must say I was very nervous the next vacation we took, but Gracie kept Andrei company and although he missed us, he coped well in our absense.

So, I'd suggest thinking about getting KitKat a friend. The friend would also keep her company while you are at work and lessen her seperation anxiety.

Just a thought, but it did work for us.

GBW, we must have cross posted I think you came up with a good solution.

Our cats do fine when we are gone for, say, a long weekend. They were all acquired in different circumstances, so right now, they don't really care a lot for each other, except for maybe Nadette & Smudge. But I think cats usually punish their owner when the owner comes back - they will either poop someplace where they shouldn't or be VERY obvious about their dislike of you, sometimes by sitting with their back to you, but sneaking little looks over their shoulder to make sure you're watching! I know mine are pretty good at making me feel guilty!

Absolutely get another cat - I will swear on whatever book you want that the minute yours sees another one come in (though she'll hiss and fight and everything else for a couple of wks) she will stop meowing. We lost cats in the past (over yrs and yrs) and the last cat standing always goes into a crazy nonstop meowing mode afterward, and the second another cat shows up, the meowing just stops.

Sorry to hear about your woes--I fret every time we have to leave out cat as well.

I've also felt ours would do best in our own environment and even with plenty of people checking up on him and spending time here, it always seems to take some adjustment time afterwards. My kitty responds to our absences with increased aggressive behavior--I think he's just of a feistier nature to begin with and our constant presence is what keeps that in check. But the last time I was the only one who left and the rest of the family was still here and he was far more aggressive than usual, all directed at me for 24 hours after my return so I think he was confused and unhappy with the arrangement.

I have worked out what I think is a good arrangement by having adults come and check on him in the early am and pm but then then I have a family who brings children over midday. He's used to noise and commotion and he seems to like them coming. When I involve the family I make sure to leave plenty of appealing snacks plus soda here so they'll enjoy hanging here and when it was a longer stay I left a gift card for a pizza and video rental for the preteen.

Glad to hear she's back to her old self!

If it were me, I'd vote for canceling the vet appointment since she's not showing any signs of stress anymore.

As far as your question about what we do when we're out of town, our two cats eat dry food from a feeder that will hold about two weeks worth of food, so we just make sure the feeder is full and leave lots of big bowls of water out for them. We also fix up a second litter box for them. If it's for more than a few days, I'll either leave the tub faucet dripping or dig out the water dispenser that uses a 2 liter soda bottle to make sure they have plenty of water. Other than that, we just leave them to themselves and they've always been just fine. Of course, we're lucky in that we've had them both since they were kittens and they are 10 and 12 years old now, so they don't get into too much mischief!

Thanks everyone for the good advice. I'm glad I found this site because it's been very helpful and everyone has good information to share.

Originally Posted by GBW

do people just stop leading their normal lives once they have a pet?

Sorry for all of the questions and posts. I'm just new to all of this and I worry a lot.

I want to make sure she is happy and healthy, but I also want to be happy and healthy too. I feel like my stress levels are through the roof!

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Having a pet is a long term commitment not unlike having a small child with you for 15 or 20 years.

When you go away you need to make provisions to have your pet cared for. You can't just up and leave trusting that they can look after themselves so long as they have "plenty" of food and water. Pets need company and attention and aren't capable of looking after themselves. They depend on us for food, water, clean litter etc, just as if you are their "mom and dad". Also just like you do with children, you need to make provisions for their care in your Will.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Having a pet is a long term commitment not unlike having a small child with you for 15 or 20 years.

When you go away you need to make provisions to have your pet cared for. You can't just up and leave trusting that they can look after themselves so long as they have "plenty" of food and water. Pets need company and attention and aren't capable of looking after themselves. They depend on us for food, water, clean litter etc, just as if you are their "mom and dad". Also just like you do with children, you need to make provisions for their care in your Will.

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Wow. That's a little harsh I think. Especially seeing as in the OP she says,

"Of all of our choices (boarding, staying at home, or going to my mom's house), we decided KitKat would be happiest at home in her own surroundings. So she was home all week with someone checking in on her everyday to feed her, give her water, brush her, play with her, etc. Everyday, I'd get a call letting me know that she was doing well and was happy, purring, etc."

Sounds like a responsible, caring, loving pet owner to me.

IMO, having recently gotten our first cat (so in similar circumstances) I would definately think about getting another cat as a companion to you guys and your kitty. We have an only cat, since we have a teeny tiny apartment. But, we aggreed that if he showed any anxiety over being alone, we would look into adopting another cat to keep Carl company. So far he hasn't seemed to care that he is alone--he is 3, and lived alone before we got him, so I think he is ok.

We are going to leave him at home when we vacation (like over Thanksgiving, weekend trips etc) with a reliable cat-owning friend to come play with him, check the litter box, feed him his wet food, etc. Since we have never left him for more than one night yet, I may be in the same situation as you guys were. If that happens, we will probably get a second cat.

Glad to hear she is back to her old self!

Thank you MissintheSouth. I agree, Natalie_ca was extremely harsh toward me. It seems to me that Natalie_ca didn't read all of my posts in their entirety.

I am not a child - I am a responsible adult who has put a lot of research into my options and my husband and I have been EXTREMELY conscientious about EVERYTHING regarding KitKat. We pamper her and love her more than anything. She means the world to us. She's only been with us for a few months, but we often talk about how, once we have our own children, KitKat will be there to grow up right along with them.

My question about "do people stop living" was more out of frustration toward myself because, AFTER ALL OF THE RESEARCH I HAD DONE ABOUT KITKAT'S OPTIONS, I still felt like I had chosen the wrong one for her, and that made me sad/upset. While we were away, she had EXCELLENT care. She had visitors (even a few overnight stays by my mother), play time, grooming time, and a lot of love. She was NOT neglected in ANY way. I am insulted that you insinuated that she was not cared for and that she was not considered to be a life-long commitment for us.

I only belong to two chat room communities, this being one of them. In the other community, I RARELY post because people can be very biting and malicious. I've been really enjoying THIS community because everyone is so helpful and kind. I honestly felt like I could share how I was feeling in this community. Instead, I find myself sitting here feeling VERY angry that someone attacked me this way and this person does not even know me.

And again, Natalie_ca, if you take the time to look me up and read all of my posts (of which there aren't many since I'm so new here), you will see that I have NOTHING but the BEST intentions for my new cat. Thanks for making a new member feel so welcome. Your post was truly rude.