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Mourning behaviour?

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Wellington is still looking for his brother all over the house and crying, and Persil too has been behaving differently, more vocal than usual. Ellie has been very maternal and licking her adoptive brother, which gives him comfort. That I would expect, but for the last three/four days I have had a previously unknown problem - peeing everywhere. Bedroom and bathroom rugs, room corners, and yesterday on my slippers and on my just-changed duvet. I have caught Dushka and Ellie doing it, but not the others, who are the ones who on the face of it are missing Napoleon most. It is not helping of course that I am keeping them inside, but they were inside before for over 6 weeks when we arrived here, and I did not have this. They have the normal number of boxes etc. Is this normal behaviour and does anyone know when it is likely to stop and if there is anything I can do about it to help them adjust? I am giving them all, but especially Wellington, as much love and cuddles as I possibly can and I am at home all day so they are not alone.
post #2 of 15
Sometimes it is hard to know what goes on in the mind of a cat, but when I had to put Old Pete down, KittenKiya went into a depression that I thought he would never come out of. He ate and drank, used the litter box, but all he did all day long is lie down. He slept sometimes but not all the time, he just didn't want to do anything. When I got new Pete, he perked up somewhat but he's not stupid, he knew that wasn't Old Pete, but he did get better.

I firmly believe that cats do mourn the loss of their buddies. About the peeing, I am wondering if it is a domination/type behavior. Now that one is gone, who' s going to be top banana?

I empathize with you, losing a friend is never easy and then having to deal with your furfriends who can not tell you what is eating them. Soothing headbuts and happy licks to you and yours from KittenKiya's Clan.
post #3 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks. No peeing today, but they have definitely split into two pairs - Ellie is looking after Wellington all the time, following him round and sitting next or near to him, grooming him sometimes, which he loves. And Persil and Dushka are always in the same room, though they don't like each other much. It's very strange as up till now it has been Persil and Ellie who are inseparable, then the boys of course.
post #4 of 15
Have you tried Rescue Remedy, it helped Daisy when she lost her life long friend, she was depressed like Kittenkiya, it was awful she just sat and stared
at nothing for hours.
post #5 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakat View Post
Have you tried Rescue Remedy, it helped Daisy when she lost her life long friend, she was depressed like Kittenkiya, it was awful she just sat and stared
at nothing for hours.
That's an idea, Jenny. There are probably special Bach's mixtures for mourning, too. Perhaps Feliway spray or a diffuser would calm them.
post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 
Good idea, I haven't tried that. I have some Feliway left from our journey - I will try it tomorrow.
post #7 of 15
Just looking in to see how you all are today.
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you Anakat, we are getting on OK, though I get weepy fits in the mornings when I miss headbutts. The others are fighting a lot, and are on edge at any noise, something that is unusual. And they follow me from room to room as a group, also unusual. Wellington is very needy and curls up next to me whenever possible. Thank you all for your concern.
post #9 of 15
Jenny, there are quite a few Dr Petals Elixrs that might help you all

You can see them here

We have been using the Crisis one for Molly and it appears to help calm her - I hope you find one that works for you, too!
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks Sarah - I did try some Feliway spray and they seem calmer. Persil wanted to play fetch today - the first time for awhile, so maybe things are getting better. Though my gardener arrived and I had to go out to mark out terraces with her and I discovered that someone has peed in my rubber boots! That must have taken some agility and concentration.
post #11 of 15
Things do sound slightly calmer for you now
That certainly is one determined kitty to wee in your wellies of all places!

It is a really stressful situation for you all I hope that with time and Feliway, things are able to begin taking a turn towards the calm
post #12 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyranson View Post
And they follow me from room to room as a group, also unusual. Wellington is very needy and curls up next to me whenever possible. Thank you all for your concern.
Part of that may be that they sense your grief, and are attempting to console you.
Good grief, how did someone manage to wet in your Wellies?
post #13 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
Good grief, how did someone manage to wet in your Wellies?
Unless they are a shorter version than you usually see? If they are the high water ones, then it really took some talent to wee in your wellies.

That phrase kinda rolls off the tongue. "Wee in your wellies..."
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
They are mid-calf length, and were leaning against a basket. But there was pee inside as well as out, so I would love to have seen whoever did it! Last night we had no accidents, though the cats were very restless and up and down off my bed all night, except for Ellie who stayed put from 10.30 to 7.30.
This morning I managed to get Wellington and Dushka really interested in a wand game, the first time for a week. So maybe they are coming out of it. This morning was the first time I have not woken up crying, so maybe I am getting better too.
post #15 of 15
Jenny, you and the kitties need time to mourn. Hopefully, you're now entering the "good days and bad days" period, and the "bad days" will eventually become fewer. You've all been through so much upheaval, first with the move, and then with Napoleon's tragic death, that I imagine there are still going to be some setbacks ahead, re the peeing and crying, but that you'll all manage to cope.
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