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Domestic Violence - Page 2

post #31 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renny View Post
In support of the police (i have a family member who is a cop) it drives them nuts and they feel so helpless when they go into houses of abused women and she won't press charges. They have often expressed to me how it has to be one of the worst parts of their job walking away without helping.
One way that police CAN help, even when the survivor does not wish to press charges: They can take that indivdual to another room or location (out of eyeshot/earshot of the batterer) and discreetly (discreetly being the key word- you don't want the batterer finding out that their partner is armed with that information!) slip them the number for the closest domestic violence shelter. We constantly provided our local police with our cards/brochures and our police USED them!
post #32 of 42
Austria has a law requiring the police to remove the batterer from the home for a minimum of 24 hours, regardless of whether the victim wishes to press charges. Germany adopted that law not so long ago, and it has been a help. With the perp locked up, the victim can be counseled immediately, and helped to leave the home, if (s)he wishes.
post #33 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
Austria has a law requiring the police to remove the batterer from the home for a minimum of 24 hours, regardless of whether the victim wishes to press charges. Germany adopted that law not so long ago, and it has been a help. With the perp locked up, the victim can be counseled immediately, and helped to leave the home, if (s)he wishes.
That's awesome Tricia. Is that law nation-wide in both countries? In the States, such laws vary state-to-state. In GA, police can only arrest for misdemeanors (or ones they have warrants for) that they witness with domestic violence being the exception. If they have probable cause to believe that an act of DV occurred, they can arrest the alleged perp without a warrant! It's a beautiful thing.
post #34 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes View Post
That's awesome Tricia. Is that law nation-wide in both countries?
Yes, it is.
post #35 of 42
Colorado enacted those same types of laws. The local paper did an in depth look at how those laws were actually working and side-effects.

"Two decades of fighting domestic violence have not produced the hoped-for results, and many victims advocates say it's time to rethink the criminal justice system's strategies."


I found it to be a very interesting series.
post #36 of 42
You should all watch a very good movie that Jennifer Lopez put out about this very subject its called Enough. Watch it but have a few tissues handy. Lets just say she makes quite an impression on this movie.
post #37 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by neetanddave View Post
Like ugaimes's friend, she suffers from mental illness as a result of all the abuse and receives government disability checks (which she gives promptly to the a**hole) as she cannot work.

Their other 3 kids have BEGGED , her family has begged, we even had an intervention on our front porch on night after the local police basically said "we are not coming to help, she will not press charges so there is nothing we can do." Her children stood on my front porch and , her son (18 at the time) crying that he did not want the youngest sister (who was 10) to come home from school and find Mom dead.

She just cannot break the cycle.
These are always such awful situations, especially given that children are involved. Although the police's behaviour was just plain wrong, I can understand the frustration that underlines it. I wonder why it isn't easier to get children out of these homes, however. I know that it would be heartbreaking for the mother, but because of her own trappedness she is incapable of protecting them (and, depending on her abuser, guilty of neglect as she stands by and watches her children being abused).

You can't take a woman out of an abusive marriage, because she's an adult, but you can - and should - take children out of an abusive home. I'm wondering, given that there are so many people here with experience in the field, if anyone here knows if that is done in some situations, and if not, why not?

Theoricetically, couldn't an officer who was called to the scene of domestic violence report it to dept of children and family (or whatever it's called wherever you are)? It would be a seperate investigation, and wouldn't matter if the wife wasn't willing to cooperate with the police.
post #38 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat View Post
That is HORRIBLE! In FL if the cops come out to a domestic disturbance, SOMEBODY is going to jail. The victim doesn't have to press charges; the state will.
This should be, but of course isn't, the case in most places. In legal terms, in most places, the victim of a crime is the state, not the person on whom the inconvience of the crime was committed - technically, they are not the victims of the crime, merely witnesses to it.

Obviously there are differences between the 'truth in reality' and the 'truth in law' - and these distinction work against victims so often - as victims of rape for example - why can't it be made to work for victims in DV situations? I like the FL approach. It's a good one. In Ireland I believe gardaÃ:censor: (the police) can arrest in DV situations as long as there is evidence (bruises, broken furniture, whathaveyou) even if the abused spouse will not press charges.
post #39 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satai View Post
You can't take a woman out of an abusive marriage, because she's an adult, but you can - and should - take children out of an abusive home. I'm wondering, given that there are so many people here with experience in the field, if anyone here knows if that is done in some situations, and if not, why not?

Theoricetically, couldn't an officer who was called to the scene of domestic violence report it to dept of children and family (or whatever it's called wherever you are)? It would be a seperate investigation, and wouldn't matter if the wife wasn't willing to cooperate with the police.
Speaking of custody - here is a very disturbing trend: Why Parents Who Batter Win Custody.

post #40 of 42
That is a very disturbing trend indeed!

Another possible reason the police may not be removing children from homes where domestic violence takes place is that if there is no clear evidence the children themselves are being abused, they might believe (erroneously) that the children are unaffected by the abuse. Like, "Well, he's just beating on the wife, the kids are okay." With so many children in foster care already, it's possible that the authorities would prefer to leave children in abusive homes (where they are not obviously the victims of abuse) where there is at least the illusion of stability rather than remove them from the home and put them into the system. Never mind the fact that living in an abusive environment -- even if not actually being victimized yourself, however unlikely that would be -- is a form of abuse unto itself, and certainly detrimental to a child's mental health.

Or it's possible that unless there is clear evidence of abuse against the children, there's really nothing the police can do. As has been mentioned before, the law isn't really in favour of the victim, and the premise of "innocent until proven guilty" -- however admirable -- often leaves victims and potential victims in a very, very unpleasant place.
post #41 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by katachtig View Post
Colorado enacted those same types of laws. The local paper did an in depth look at how those laws were actually working and side-effects.

"Two decades of fighting domestic violence have not produced the hoped-for results, and many victims advocates say it's time to rethink the criminal justice system's strategies."


I found it to be a very interesting series.
That article really offers a lot of food for thought.
post #42 of 42
Thread Starter 
Regarding the children of abuse survivors:
In GA, anyone who abuses someone where the children are within sight or earshot, is also guilty of cruelty to children in the third degree (the effects on children who hear/witness abuse are often monstrous).
When I worked for the domestic violence shelter, the majority of our residents were female abuse survivors fleeing with their children. Under law, any resident with children who we knew was leaving the shelter to return to the batterer was reported to the Dept. of Family and Children. The children are RARELY ever removed from the home (though that is always the mother's fear), though many families do have to start a case with DFCS and submit to (not frequent enough) house checks. Basically, the law has yet to catch up with the severity of domestic violence and the children are helpless victims caught in the crosshairs.
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