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please remember to..

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
always tell your loved ones that you love them.

A while ago i had asked some vibes for my cousin, he had lukemia, he battled it, he got married last June and i wasnt able to attend his wedding.

I havent been home as my aunty tried to call, 12 days long she has been trying to contact me! i call her back just now, and she tells me that he is dead!
He is only 27!
I feel so rotten and selfish that i didnt call my aunty weekly like i should have.
I dont know what to do or say to her, she lives in sicily, she is beside her self, my mother is screaming and crying.

I dont know what to do
post #2 of 18
well, if i remember right, you have moved, been job searching etc.
sometimes it is several days before i get back to phone messages.

Really the only thing you can do for friends and family at these time is be there for them. let them talk about it if they need to. Ask them if there is anything that you could do that would help them during this time.

I know when i call my aunt(not evey week, but like once a month) she always talkes about my uncle and my mother, both who died several years ago, It helps her. so i listen.
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
well, if i remember right, you have moved, been job searching etc.
sometimes it is several days before i get back to phone messages.

Really the only thing you can do for friends and family at these time is be there for them. let them talk about it if they need to. Ask them if there is anything that you could do that would help them during this time.

I know when i call my aunt(not evey week, but like once a month) she always talkes about my uncle and my mother, both who died several years ago, It helps her. so i listen.
At the moment i go to school, well not today anymore
looking for jobs, i was even having a job for 3 days, and renovating my apartment and even been out with the bf

I just feel so selfish that i wasnt there for them like i should have been
post #4 of 18
Fran I am so sorry about your cousin. 27 is no age to die.
Please don't have regrets, just be there the best you can for your family now. They need you more than ever.
post #5 of 18
Fran i know how you feel because just when we got our family together last year as in sisters, brothers nieces and nephews, 3 weeks ago today my 35 year old nephew was killed in a car crash

Thankfully we all kept in close contact since we all met up last year, but it's taught me a lot that lifes too short
post #6 of 18
Sweetheart. I'm so sorry 27 is far too young. Don't have any regrets or feel bad - I know that your cousin wouldn't want that for you.
post #7 of 18
27 is so young

Don't beat yourself up about this though Fran...you have been really busy trying to find a new job and whatnot...now that you do know you can help your family get through this
post #8 of 18
So sorry about your cousin. He was so young. Do not beat yourself up over this. He is in a better place now especially if he was suffering.
post #9 of 18
I'm sorry to hear of this Fran, please do not beat yourself up over this - to you and your family
post #10 of 18
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin!

That is the reason I am training with Team In Training to run the Nike Women's Marathon for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Between the 15,000 of us that are raising money and running, we will raise over $60 Million Dollars for Leukemia and Lymphoma research and Quality of Life funds that go to help families afflicted with blood cancers.
post #11 of 18
Thread Starter 
i may do something like that next time i hear something of it.
post #12 of 18
So sorry to hear of your cousin, please don't blame yourself, sometimes we all get caught up in the rat race that is life, and forget to return calls etc...you will all need each other to come to terms with your loss, so concentrate on helping and supporting each other rather than beating yourself up, he is free from suffering now and wouldn't want you to suffer either...love and hugs to you and your family.
post #13 of 18
Aw, Fran, that's so sad. I'm so sorry for your family's loss

You did nothing to feel guilty for. We all get busy in life, and things go undone, but not on purpose. All you can do at this point is be there with your family. Grieve with them, listen to them, be with them. Don't beat yourself up, it does no good.
post #14 of 18
Wow Fran, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss . How is his wife coping with this?
post #15 of 18
Oh sweetie, there was nothing that you could have done or said to keep him here.It was his time to go for what ever reason.I know you feel bad about it,but you couldn't do anything.Just be there for your family as much and as best you can.
post #16 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes View Post
Wow Fran, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss . How is his wife coping with this?

I dont know? i dont even have her number.

Everyone knew he wouldnt make it with in the next two years, that is whats so upsetting.
He doesnt even have children.

My dad told me i had to write in the card, but i had no idea what to say.. so i drew a love heart and his name next to it and signed it.

My mother told me it wasnt my fault, she has seen how busy i am, its just a *#%&$ my parents are deaf and not able to communicate with the family.

Usually in these emergencies i would be flying there, but its bad luck with all of us with money, family loss, everything!

My dad feels horrible, he told him he would be getting his wedding present in December, now my dad doesnt know what to do!
post #17 of 18
Does your mum and dad not have any contact numbers of any of the family to give you Fran?
post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
Yes but i have no contact with my scottish family. they all moved and changed their numbers and didnt bother sending us the updates.

My sicilian family hasnt moved and have the same numbers, but its hard because my parents cant hear, and they dont have a TTY, most people in sicily dont have a Fax, so they rely on their daughters or sons to pass on information.

I just dont understand why they didnt send us a fax immedietely or a letter
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