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A very sad & heartbreaking day...

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
On Thursday I had to make one of the hardest decisions and it has torn a hole in my heart. I'm returning Phoenix back to the rescue since Nakita has become worse over the last month rather than better with Phoenix's presence.

On Thursday night, Nakita actually attacked me. She was hiding out more upstairs and started to eat less. Anytime she would hear Phoenix her body would tense up and on Thursday she showed me I couldn't keep Phoenix with us anymore. I have tried everything over the last month - I have used Rescue Remedy, Feliway, treats, play sessions etc. I introduced Phoenix slowly - even building a mesh screen so they could smell/see each other first. I have even moved Nakita's food/litter upstairs so she could have her space and Phoenix would spend most of her day with me downstairs. I would spend my nights upstairs with Nakita for 'our' time.

I guess this wasn't meant to be. I added Phoenix on the advice of a vet who thought Nakita might need more mental stimulation during her day which might in turn help her hyperesthesia. I think Nakita is meant to be an only cat and I refuse to start drugging her to help her 'over' this introduction which has been suggested by some people as a last step.

Phoenix has been my dream cat. I've wanted a calico since I was a kid and she is the most adorable, affectionate, playful kitten a person could want. She *loves* attention and would do well in a house with other cats. During this last month, Phoenix just wanted to be with Nakita and would often lie down near her even though Nakita hissed and growled at the presence.

I'm returning her today to the foster home she originally came from. It has broken my heart but I need to do what is best for Nakita and get her healthy again. Phoenix, I'm sorry this didn't work out - but know you always have my love.

If anyone in the Toronto/GTA area knows of a great family who would give Phoenix a wonderful, safe, loving home please PM me and I'll pass on your info to the rescue organization. She is up on her vaccinations and is estimated to be around 4 months old. Thanks for taking the time to read.

post #2 of 47
I'm sorry this must be so hard for you to have to do.Sometimes things aren't meant to be and you sure have tried your best.
post #3 of 47
Oh my goodness Kass

You must be so terribly upset. Phoenix is a very special little girl.

Don't beat yourself up about this though, you did everything you possibly could to try and help Nakita adjust but as you said it wasn't meant to be. This just shows what a responsible kitty mommy you are to have to make this decision even though you've come to love Phoenix so much.

I wish I could take Phoenix (I've grown to really love that little face) but with 3 cats in an apartment it would be too cramped.

Sending you lots of hugs
post #4 of 47
I am sorry that things haven't worked out.
post #5 of 47
Kass, I am so sorry things aren't working out

I wish I could take her but Matt would kill me (I tried bringing home a kitten on Wednesday and it was a flat no), I will certainly ask around - everyone at work has cats so they might know other cat lovers looking for a cat.

I can't see it being too difficult to rehome such a beautiful little girl if someone is looking for a cat
post #6 of 47
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I know how hard this must be, but you're making the right decision. Wonton is the same - he has issues which may be hyperesthesia, but I found out a while ago that he's not good with other cats. You need to do what's right for Nakita, and that's what you're doing. Phoenix is going back to his foster home and will hopefully soon have a loving family to give him all the attention he could ever want. Sending good vibes to you and both kitties. xx
post #7 of 47
I know how hard this must be on you. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
post #8 of 47
Bless your heart, I know this decision was not easy for you, but Nakita should be your focus right now and you know that. Eventually I hope you find peace with your decision when Nakita's returns to health. Don't worry about Phoenix she's a beautiful little kitten and someone will give her a great home.
post #9 of 47
I'm so sorry that it has come to this but I guess some cats are meant to be the only cats in the household. You are doing what is best for both cats and I'm sending healing vibes for Nakita and homing vibes for Phoenix.

post #10 of 47
Oh Kass

I'm sorry to hear about this - don't beat yourself up over this - sending lots of hugs to you today
post #11 of 47
I wish my dad would allow me to have another cat but he won't cause I would come get that beautiful girl if he would let me. I am so sorry that you had to make this decision.
post #12 of 47
I'm sorry, Kass. I'm sure Phoenix will find a great home.
post #13 of 47
I'm sorry it didn't work out for Phoenix and Nakita. If I were in the Toronto area, I would snatch her right up. In fact I wish I could, because my sister just lost her beautiful kitty, and she is so heart broken, and she would be the perfect Mummy for this beautiful little girl.
post #14 of 47
My heart breaks for you. I know this was such a difficult decision but you have do what is right for Nikata and Pheonix. Sending lots of vibes to all of you.

post #15 of 47
I'm sorry you had to make such a difficult decison, but it was absolutely the right thing to do under the circumstances. Sending lots of vibes that wonderful forever home comes along for little Phoenix.
post #16 of 47
I'm so sorry - I wish I lived in Ontario so I could adopt her, she sounds so sweet.
post #17 of 47
Kass, I know this is breaking your heart!

Phoenix is such a happy, playful loving kitty I'm sure she'll find a new home soon! Some kitties just want or need to be alone kitties, and unfortunately there's just no way to know that until you try. You know in your heart you did everything you could to make it work, and Nakita simply doesn't want a pal. With her health suffering so, it's the right decision for Nakita, and that's what's important right now.

post #18 of 47
I am so very sorry to read this, you did all you could.
I hope that Phoenix finds a new home soon
post #19 of 47
Phoenix looks so adorable, I love her cute little face . I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time, but like you said some cats are just meant to be 1 cat homes . Sending you vibes that cutie Phoenix finds her new home.
post #20 of 47
Kass, I'm so very sorry that it didn't work out, and that Phoenix wasn't something that Nakita could live with. I know how much your heart is breaking over this, but Nakita has to be the top priority. Phoenix is such a pretty and outgoing kitten, I'm sure she will find another loving home very soon.
post #21 of 47
I'm so very sorry. you'll be in my thoughts and I am sure Pheonix will find a good home.
post #22 of 47
Kass, I applaud you for making such a hard, heartbreaking decision. You are soo brave! Many of us wouldn't be able to do such a hard thing. You are such a good meowmy- please do not blame yourself! You did everything by the book- including the proper introductions. Rest in the fact that beautiful little Phoenix is HIGHLY adoptable and will find a wonderful forever home soon! And while you had her, you were able to spoil her rotten and give her all of the love and attention in your heart! What a wonderful gift! It sounds like you have done everything you know of to help little Nakita- she just sounds like she should be the only kitty though. I hope her health improves soon. I'm soo sorry you had to make such a tough decision, but know that you have the love and support of everyone here on TCS!
post #23 of 47
Oh Kass, I'm so sorry it came to this I know you tried everything you could, and I know you're heartbroken now

An outgoing, sweet, beautiful kitten like Phoenix is going to find a great home, so I don't think you have to worry there. You're right in thinking of Nakita's health. In my situation, I can "wait it out" more because it's not affecting JinJin's health. If it had, I would have done what you did. That's our responsibility. It's got to be so hard, though. I know you deeply love Phoenix as well
post #24 of 47
i am so sorry for you and phoenix,i dont know what to say,it must be heart rendering, all i can do is send you.....
post #25 of 47
I am so sorry things didn't work out.I agree with everyone else,your Nakita is your #1 priority! Pheonix is a beautiful little girl who shouldn't have a problem being adopted.
post #26 of 47
Awww I'm sorry it didn't work out between Nakita and Phoenix. You've made a very difficult decission but it sounds like you're doing the right thing.
post #27 of 47
Kass, I'm so sorry to hear this. Just know you gave it your best shot. I'll keep my eyes and ears open as well.
post #28 of 47
Oh I'm so sorry. I understand what it must feel like to loose someone you love!

This might be a little to late to ask you, but have you tried to keep one in a seperate room unless its playtime?

Our older, nasty cat hisses at Willie when he goes near her. She smacks him (no claws). Willie has his own room away from all the animals (my bedroom) and that where he sleeps. When I get home, I take him out (help him downt he stairs because he cant quite do that yet) and he plays downstairs for hours. He torments the older cat (but the older cat asks for it) and plays with his best buddies (the dogs).

Good luck in all that is coming your way! And I hope Nakita and you will always be best buddies!
post #29 of 47
I'm so sorry to hear that, it sounds as though you have tried everything, and did introductions exactly as you should.

You definitely don't want to risk Nakita's health, and it is the right decision - even if you do feel like the worst person in the world!!

post #30 of 47
Oh, Kass!!!! I have a really guilty conscience, because: "Been there, done that before", but I was nevertheless envious! A couple of days ago, I found myself wondering how you had managed to take in another cat, because there's a little guy at the shelter I just "have" to have, and my husband was berating me for being away for a whole month, since Jamie seemed bored with just him at home. I was really envious of you, but right now all I feel is empathy, as I've been in your position a couple of times, and I know how heartwrenching it is to have to give up. Some cats are just meant to be "only cats", and Nakita and Jamie seem to fall into that category. I've tried to bring in "second cats" a couple of times (actually, they've decided to move in here), which was probably stupid, because we had a resident cat when we got Jamie, and Jamie wouldn't accept him, not vice-versa. The only other cats that Jamie half-way tolerated were fwan's Teufel and Kaylee (he growled, and was aggressive with us, but didn't attack them), but there were two of them, they were both kittens, and we had strangers in the house at the time (putting in new windows/doors).
Nakita has to be #1, in her mind, and presumably as far as your sense of responsibility is concerned. Dividing your house is an option, but not a good one (it's something we've done).
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