Very nervous cat

mceve

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Hi all.

The life story of our cat is relevant regarding what's happening to her now,
so I'll start at the beginning.

We got her from an SPCA organization (not spca but similar) at the age of 12
weeks. The most adorable kitten, still especially beautiful, but she showed
behaviour problems from the word go.

The first three days we had she had her face firmly pressed up against a
corner in our bedroom. She didn't show any signs of her recognizing our
attempts of getting in touch with her. After three days she started looking
around, and immediately fell for my husband. She managed to get up in our
bed and lay there licking his forehead all night. No need to mention he was
pretty sore in his forehead, but allowed her to do it as she was so scared,
and it seemed to comfort her.

stay with me.

After this intitial week she was more and more outgoing, playing with me,
but always seeking comfort and petting from my husband. We assumed that
whatever happened to her before we got her was done to her by a female, as
she never cuddled with me, and if we got a female vistor she would be gone,
as compared to when we got a male visitor she always came out after a while
to say hello.

Three years went by, she was always skittish. if we came into the same room
as where she was we always had to get down and say hello, letting her come
to us, before proceeding into the room, or she would run panicked. We were
always considering her needs and reactions before doing anything really, as
we felt so sad scaring her.

I know it's long post, but please be patient

She was fine really. She loved my husband and son, especially after he went
through the from child to adult voice. They both would hold their hands up
in knee height, and she would jump up to get stroked by the hand, litterally
stroking herself against the hand. She was happy, as long as we were careful
with what we exposed her to. Me - she accepted, but never got attached to.

Now, please stay with me, a month ago we bought a cottage out in the country
side. Our other cat took to the new enviroment like he's never done anything
else, exploring and enjoying the nature (they both had been inndoor cats in
the city earlier). But poor Susie...... she was just petrified. She would
hide under a blanket, with her nose firmly lodged into a corner in the
bedroom. Like we were back to stage one when she was a kitten.

Nothing we could do seem to get through to her, any comfort seemed like an
intrusion, she was just litterally stiff with fear. After three days we took
her back to the apartment as we couldn't stand seeing her like that.

Now almost three weeks later she hasn't improved. She's hiding in one of the
bedrooms, occationally coming out for food and potty, occationally coming
out to cuddle with my husband, as she always used to do, but now only for
short periods of time before going back to her hiding place.

She's still petrified!

Anyone seen this kind of behaviour before? I know there's nothing the people
in her enviroment is doing or has been doing (except from taking her out to
the cabin) that should make her this scared. And even an experience like
this shouldn't have made her so terribly scared.... Lasting for 3 weeks in
her home of 3 years! She's still not back to normal after three weeks.

Anyone known anything similar? Anybody know what might be wrong? Anyone know what we can do to help her? She's also extremely sensitive to sounds, always has been, but but even more now.

Much appreciated for any feedback.
 

pami

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She is just scared. I would get some feliaway, which is know to comfort cats, in addition to Bachs Rescue Remedy. Some cats are just prone to be more scared than others. She will work it out in her own time. Just continue to be patient with her. Are you wanting your cottage home to be her permanent home ? If you are, I would do the above mentioned at the cottage home.
 

tru

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Mostly I just wanted to post and wish you the best with your little girl. The closest thing I've ever had to a cat like this is one feral who is very skittish no matter what I've tried.

Perhaps some Feliway diffusers in the house and Rescue Remedy may help her calm down.

I'm sure others will have suggestions for you.

Good Luck!


Pami... It looks like we were posting at the same time and I am always soooooooo sloooooooooow.
 
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mceve

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Originally Posted by Pami

She is just scared. I would get some feliaway, which is know to comfort cats, in addition to Bachs Rescue Remedy.
Are you talking about remedies that needs to be administered? You're free to come and do that if you like
She has never accepted to be held or carried, unless all her feet are supported while carrying her. ANY restrain sends her into a panic. I still have holes in my arms from her canine teeth after having to give her a bath.

Please don't misunderstand. I've had cats all my life. I've bred show cats. I know how to handle cats, in general - but poor Susie is different.... I know she's scared. But she's SO scared, and after three years any change sends her off into a panic that lasts for weeks.

It's heartbreaking


Here she is, a beutiful darling of a cat: http://public.qtopia.no/snus.jpg
 

pami

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The feliaway is a diffuser, you plug into an electrical outlet. You can find it on Dr Fosters and Smith website, its called Comfort Zone http://www.drsfostersmith.com/produc...1&N=2002&Nty=1

The Bach's Rescue Remedy. you can find from several places on the web. That can be be administered into her water. Also another member on here, rubbed it onto her cats ears, with great success.
 
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mceve

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Hi Pami, she is beautiful and we love her very much, but as you can tell, we are very concerned about her mental health. Funny thing is, my husband tells me that she hasn't been out in the living room as much as she is today, so - even though I'm the "bad guy", "competing" for hubbys affection, maybe she feels safer now that she can hear my voice as well...? Maybe I'm part of her safe word? I came home today after two weeks abcense.

But still, it's not normal for a cat to react this extremely to a change in the enviroment.... I've never seeen anything like it.

A question about Feliway. Don't all cats have their own smell, and how can they be comforted by a generic smell?
 

pami

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It mimics a cats friendly pheromones they have around their cheeks. Im not sure about the science behind it really, but so many people have had great success with it in calming their kitties in stressful situations. The same with the Rescue Remedy.

Some cats are just more fragile than others. I have 5 that, 4 of them I have had since birth. They like no one but me and will hide from everyone who enters my home until they get to know you. (which takes a while) One of mine will actually shake when someone knocks on the door. They have always been extremely cared for, they just didnt interact with much more than me, when hey were babies. (my fault) ....

I hope you have some luck with your baby girl. Its hard on us humans when they can tell us exactly what it is .....
 

momofmany

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Originally Posted by McEve

But still, it's not normal for a cat to react this extremely to a change in the enviroment.... I've never seeen anything like it.
I have to disagree. I moved my gang of 13 on April 1st and it took my Oscar (age 3) over 2 months to come out from under the bed and even now he doesn't come to the ritual 7PM canned food dinner unless I find him, pick him up and carry him there. My Eightball (age 10) is the second most skittish cat in the bunch and it took him a month to come out in the open. He has never in his life come out in the open with strangers in the house and still occassionally runs and hides from my husband. Tigger, who crossed prior to the move was even more scared than either of these and I also have scars from trying to get him into a carrier - he could not be picked up at all - not even if we placed our arm under his legs for support. In 9 years he rarely let anyone see him. All of these cats have always been skittish. It is simply their nature.

There are no solid answers to your dilemna. I treat a skittish cat similar to a feral cat. Simply ignore them and let them live on their terms. If they want affection, they will come to you for it. Don't tower over them, never stare them directly in the eyes and if they make eye contact with you, blink your eyes (it is a cat greeting).

Cats like ritual and moving a skittish cat disrupts their already fragile world. Keep as solid as a ritual as you can in your new place and if you aren't doing so already, add a fixed time each day where you feed her a tidbit of canned or some treats. Always in the same place, always at the same time, always by the same person, always with the same rituals.

Your story started out when you first adopted her and that she decided to attach to your husband. That is actually very normal. Our Scarlett took to my husband a week after her eyes opened when she was finally strong enough to crawl herself over to him for affection. It took her close to 5 years to accept me as her buddy. This was a cat that we both bottle fed when she was orphaned at 3 weeks, who even when being bottle fed, preferred to feed from my husband and not myself. The majority of my cats have their favorite person, and in most cases, the boys like me and the girls like my husband. I've heard other's on the site witness opposite sex attractions and that could be what is happening with your girl.

I wish you lots of good vibes with this girl!
 

lookingglass

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I just wanted to say she is a beautiful girl. Feliway is a great product, all be it an expensive one. When we adopted Scratch, the cat in my siggy, he was also terrified of his environment. What worked for us was playing some classical music, some At Ease (a less expensive version of Feliway), and sitting the room with him and softly reading to him. It took a while, but he came around. In fact about two weeks ago, he "gave" me his toy that he brought with him from the shelter. He is now a lot more out going than he was in the past. What I would do is establish a set pattern with her, and stick to it like glue. It will let her know that nothing is going to harm her and she is going to be okay. Also, do you have anything that smells like your old home, like a blanket that you haven't washed or perhaps an old towel that made it through the move? You could give her that as a comfort object.

Please let us know how she is doing.

Here's a link for At Ease:

http://allpetvetsupply.stores.yahoo.net/pmsmgar029.html
 

shortee8866

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Hi there. Is susie hissing or growling when she is scared? Or just running off to hide? I posted a thread a while back about my cat. Actually she looks identical to susie! The thread is called Aniexty disorder. Read that. The situation is a bit different, but maybe it will inspire you.

Good luck!
 
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mceve

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Originally Posted by shortee8866

Hi there. Is susie hissing or growling when she is scared? Or just running off to hide?
She runs and hide without making any sounds. She's not making any sounds when her face is in the corner and we try to comfort her either.

On a sidenote, she was more than 6 months old before she could miow. One day she suddenly managed to get a sound out, but before that she would open her mouth and try, but no sound came out of her mouth.
 
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mceve

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Originally Posted by meow meow

Do vets prescribe any anti-axiety meds that may help her?
I'm sure we could get medicine for her, but I'm not going to administer it to her, at least not without somebody having 911 on the line
She draws blood if being held against her will
Not because she's aggressive, but she panicks - totally panicks and will do what it takes to get free.

We have ordered Feloway (?) and will see if that can help her...
 

momofmany

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Originally Posted by McEve

I'm sure we could get medicine for her, but I'm not going to administer it to her, at least not without somebody having 911 on the line
She draws blood if being held against her will
Not because she's aggressive, but she panicks - totally panicks and will do what it takes to get free.
My Tigger could also not be given meds. We found he loved yogurt and when we needed to give him meds, we would crush up the pills and mix them with a very small quantity of yogurt. Yogurt is OK for cats, but it does create an imbalance in their system so you should use this as a last resort. Vanilla ice cream can also work.
 

lookingglass

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Originally Posted by McEve

I'm sure we could get medicine for her, but I'm not going to administer it to her, at least not without somebody having 911 on the line
She draws blood if being held against her will
Not because she's aggressive, but she panicks - totally panicks and will do what it takes to get free.

We have ordered Feloway (?) and will see if that can help her...
It's a great product!

Also, have you taken her to the vet recently? If the Feliway doesn't work, I'd make an appt. just to be sure that everything is okay.
 
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mceve

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Originally Posted by Momofmany

Yogurt is OK for cats, but it does create an imbalance in their system so you should use this as a last resort. .
She loves youghurt, so we let her lick the lid. That might work.. thanks, even though I prefer to find a nonmedical solution I'll keep it in mind as a last resort.

BTW, I've found that dairyproducts generally gives the cat diareah, so none of my cats gets it - except for Susies licking the lid. We can't deny her anything
And it's such a small amount that it doesn't adversely affect her.


Originally Posted by lookingglass

Also, have you taken her to the vet recently? If the Feliway doesn't work, I'd make an appt. just to be sure that everything is okay.
Thanks I'll do that. She hasen't been to the vet since her last shot and spaying. You can imagine going to the vet is very stressful for her, so we tend not to do it except when we have to.
 

momofmany

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Originally Posted by McEve

BTW, I've found that dairyproducts generally gives the cat diareah, so none of my cats gets it - except for Susies licking the lid. We can't deny her anything
And it's such a small amount that it doesn't adversely affect her.
I agree - I don't recommend it unless you hit the extreme situation that you are describing. I so completely empathize with you - giving Tigger meds or taking him to a vet was always so dicey.

Honestly, you are describing a lot of what I went thru with my Tigger. The only way I could work thru things with him emotionally (for myself) was to celebrate the small improvements with him - like the times when he would come up to me and actually sit in my lap. They were so rare and unexpected. Some cats are just that way.
 

bab-ush-niik

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Since your kitty is particularly bad, you may want to discuss anti-anxiety meds with the vet. Our cat has an anxiety-type disorder, but he has settled down enough that we decided to not give meds. I have friends who have to give meds to their dog for this though. I believe they only do it during change periods, such as if one of them is away on business for a while.

Puppy (my special needs cat) is always more affected if one of us is gone, and a change in routine will set him off. During his last house switch, it took him about 6 months to get to some stable state....for some meaning of stable...if you are moving to this house permanently, I think it is best to take her there at once, and start treatment there. Going back and forth could cause problems.
 

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My cat Kitty is on Prozac, and I have to say right now it is a life saver. She is slowing coming out of hiding and becoming a family member again. This was my last resort though, I had tried just about everything else. It's hard to give them to her, but I have learned to strattle her with my upper body against her and put them in her mouth, then I just hold her mouth closed in this position until I feel that she has taken it. After two months of this, it has gotten easier for me and her. I'm telling you this has really help out our family, and I think she is feeling more confedient and wants to be part of things again.
 
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