i hope this doesnt come off sounding mean-spirited, but take up the momma cats food and let her get hungry. you can tease her by picking up her food bowl and putting some food in it then pouring it back in the bag and set the bowl down to let her smell the bowl. when she gets hungry she'll eat...
wait until the cat gets in the "i need some stroking mode" then carefully fold a towel around him and begin to slowly brush it watching for reaction. if he squirms then give it time to relax.
