Thinking of adopting neglected sisters...need help/insights please

[chris gadbois]

Hi, I brand new to website. I am a long time cat owner, however I just lost both my cats in the last three weeks (Cancer-19 yr old, and Kidney Disease - 15 yr old). 

I was at a shelter today looking for possible adoptions. I want 2 siblings, not kittens, There is a pair of GORGEOUS Maine Coon sisters, approx 3yrs old. That were removed from a neglected home. I do not think they were physically abused, as their long coats were beautiful and they looked well fed too. They were cowering under their cat beds and could not be seen at all. They were in separate cages too which I'm sure only adds to their anxiety.  

I have no idea what kind of neglect/abuse these two babies were exposed to. I was told by the shelter that one of the neighbors called and complained...and in the following welfare checkup the Animal Control Officer removed the cats from "deplorable cockroach like" conditions. The homeowner was said to be home very infrequently and that the neighbors had been feeding them. A note was left for the homeowner that they were now in the care of the shelter, and to this day the homeowner has not called to inquire about the cats (almost 2 months now).

I carefully picked one of the girls up, and she is just so scared. She didn't claw or bite, just clammered to get back in her cage and under the blankets.  I didn't want to ajitate her, so I helped tuck her in under her blanket and let her be. 

My question is this - can these two 3 year old sisters be saved, and if so, what kind of timeline do you think I should expect. 

I would love to save them both, and maybe they can heal my broken at the same time. 

Thank you for your time  ~ Chris 

 

[mani]

Chris, this story touched me.. Welcome to TCS, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your cats.

I'm thinking that these two could be wonderful to heal your pain, but it may be a long process.

It's feasible and there are ways of working with such traumatised cats, but I don't think anyone will be able to give you a timeline.

I'm wondering whether they have had any human interaction, especially as kittens.  

There are many people on the site with more experience than me.. I hope they'll be along soon with advice for you.

 [article="32735"]10 Must Know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat​[/article]  

 

[jfoley85]

I agree. and the more affection you show them the faster the process will be to them getting used to you ! When I first found my cat I showered him with love and affection. Then only three days later he escaped. He was gone for 24 hrs and then decided to come back to me, purring, rubbing up to me. They know who loves them and they pick up on that faster then you'd think. Puss never escaped since then either.

 

[kittychick]

Welcome @Chris Gadbois! You'll find this is a very positive, supportive, amazingly helpful group of people. I hope you'll take advantage of it if you do adopt the sisters - or if you decide to go another direction and need help with that.

And SO sorry for your lost. We lost two last year also - - almost 19 and alsot 20 - but still so hard. 

And I applaud you for thinking about the 2 of them. As Maine Coones, they hopefully won't sit too long, but as shy cats, that will most certianly work strongly against them in a shelter situation. Often people adopt the breed only, ignoring the personality, and then they're returned again, upping the stress for the kitties.

As said above, there is no timeline unofrtunately. It not only depends on the situation, but on so much more - the individual cat, the home they're going into, the relationship they have with each other, the relationship they have with you, and on and on.....in other words, like people, every situtaion is different. Which I think you know - since you've had two (at least!).

I work alot with socializing anti-social cats and kittens. I know some people like to separate siblings - and yes it can speed the process and help them bond to you. But I just generally can't do it. At least not in the long run. If you adopt  - I'd adopt both, then see if separating short-term only is necessary to speed things (I rarely even do that - - but I'm a softy). 

I think a lot of it depends on ultimately what you want/need. If you definitely want/need a lap cat to heal your heart - you can't depend on either/both of these guys to come around to that - not that they can't/won't!!!!! But know they will take work - - work that will probably be VERY rewarding and bonding.

Keep us updated - either way it goes. 

 

[StefanZ]

 
Hi, I brand new to website. I am a long time cat owner, however I just lost both my cats in the last three weeks (Cancer-19 yr old, and Kidney Disease - 15 yr old). 

I was at a shelter today looking for possible adoptions. I want 2 siblings, not kittens, There is a pair of GORGEOUS Maine Coon sisters, approx 3yrs old. That were removed from a neglected home. I do not think they were physically abused, as their long coats were beautiful and they looked well fed too. They were cowering under their cat beds and could not be seen at all. They were in separate cages too which I'm sure only adds to their anxiety.  

I have no idea what kind of neglect/abuse these two babies were exposed to. I was told by the shelter that one of the neighbors called and complained...and in the following welfare checkup the Animal Control Officer removed the cats from "deplorable cockroach like" conditions. The homeowner was said to be home very infrequently and that the neighbors had been feeding them. A note was left for the homeowner that they were now in the care of the shelter, and to this day the homeowner has not called to inquire about the cats (almost 2 months now).

I carefully picked one of the girls up, and she is just so scared. She didn't claw or bite, just clammered to get back in her cage and under the blankets.  I didn't want to ajitate her, so I helped tuck her in under her blanket and let her be. 

My question is this - can these two 3 year old sisters be saved, and if so, what kind of timeline do you think I should expect. 

I would love to save them both, and maybe they can heal my broken heart at the same time. 

Thank you for your time  ~ Chris 

Yes, i too think this is a wonderful idea, a quest worth of your effort and the memory of your two deceased. Not instead, but in their name and honor.

I want to add - you can cheat some.   You can use a Feliway adapter, which they surely didnt had in their first living place, probably not either in that shelter.

Relaxing, calming music may help too...   Using your voice a lot and friendly sounds is a strong instrument.

Welcome back with all questions as they arrive.

Good luck!

 

[ondine]

I am so sorry you lost your cats but I think these two kitty angels were sent to you! If you allow them to be themselves, adjust to all the changes and adapt to their new environment at their own pace, I believe you will have a wonderful life together.

 

[mservant]

I am sad to read of your recent loss and know how our older cats can have such a special and close bond as I had mine for nearly 18 and 21 years, but like you I also felt an emptiness in my home without a cat there with me and adopted another as soon as I could.  It brought back warmth to my home and a purpose in my heart and I know my previous cats understood that I needed this which is why they stayed with me for so long.

If these two sisters have captured your heart I am sure there is a reason, and it sounds like you have already sensed things about them which are contributing to their anxiety and shyness at the shelter.  I agree with others, it is difficult to put a time line of things like this, and also on what the outcome might be as all cats are so individual in addition to what ever their former life has been like.  That said, if you give them a peaceful and loving home where they can take their own time to familiarize and to find ways to share communication with you then your home sounds like a wonderful place for them.   What I do think you need to consider is whether you would feel content if one or both of them did not grow in to people loving cats who wanted contact and lap time with you.  It may be that they relax as soon as they enter your home and decide that they want to curl up with you, or they may never want such contact and you should think about whether you could accept that.

I have a good friend who adopted an older and very timid little female cat from a shelter some years ago now.  When she first took her home the cat would do nothing but hide and it took a good few months for her not to be looking over her shoulder and bolting from her food bowl if anyone was around (and my friend lived alone so it was a peaceful home).  Over the course of about 3 years she gradually calmed around my friend, and then slowly with quiet visitors.  She as a lovely, gentle cat and would curl up on the furniture and enjoy human companionship as she started to relax more, and would brush past my outstretched hand if I was sitting quietly and allow me to pet her a little.  She was never a lap cat but she did sometimes join my friend on her bed at night once she thought her human was asleep. My friend was very happy with this arrangement but I know I would have found it hard if it were me.

 

[chris gadbois]

UPDATE - These two girls were left behind when someone move to a new apartment. They were loved, and cared for/spayed in their early life, but were callously abandoned in the beginning of December. For 3 weeks they saw no one and the departing owner had dumped a bag of dog food on the floor for them to survive on. 

They have been is the shelter for the last 10 weeks...and the two were separated. ( I understand doing this until the shelter has them tested, but after that ?!? ). Both cats had flipped over their cat beds and were cowering under the blankets. Yesterday I went in and told them I'd like to see the two of them together again. They may be in fear of me for awhile, but as long as they had a strong bond I figured we all might have a better chance for saving them emotionally. 

For a couple seconds they hissed, then joined each other under the blanket hiding together. I put my hand under the blanket to do some light ear scratching and the calico (Jinx) started head rubbing and purring pretty loudly right away. The black tiger took a little longer, but started purring a lil bit too, but very shy/distrustful still. 

*************

I adopted them both. I getting them later today, as I needed to convert my living room into their 'safe room' (lots of hiding spaces under the ottoman and sofa). I'm going to let them set the pace, not force anything but love upon these two. I'm expecting the black tiger to hide from me until she is ready to say hi, but that is ok. I plan on laying on the floor of the LR and reading a book to them (albeit quietly).  I try not to make too much eye contact, and not touch them until they start coming to me. 

I went to the front of the shelter to fill out the adoption papers for 5 minutes....when that was done I went back to let them know I would take them home in the morning....I picked up the edge of the blanket to peek under, and this is what I saw. I think we're gonna be ok. 

12789790_10153926488369593_1589396681_o.jpg

• chris gadbois
• Mar 9, 2016

 

[AbbysMom]

Aren't they just gorgeous??? Good luck with them. Please keep us updated on how it is going.

Welcome to the site. I'm so sorry for your recent losses. :heart2:

 

[catpack]

This just warms my heart! I have to think that after being loved and cared for and then suddenly abandoned and dumped at the shelter is playing into their fearfulness. Once out of the shelter and into a home, they may progress quite nicely. And, I'm sure it helps with them being back together!

I look forward to your updates!

 

[Kat0121]

Welcome to TCS!! 

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• Kat0121
• Mar 2, 2015

The box was eventually replaced with a large plastic storage tote with a blanket in it that he also liked. I gradually introduced him to the girls and then the dog. They all get along fine but he would NOT come out of that room for anything. I sat in there with him, talked to him, read to him and gave him treats and little catnip toys which he likes. He does not like any other kind of toy including wand toys or laser pointers. He loved to be petted and started coming out of the tote for pets when I visited or brought his meals

Here he is coming out of the tote for pets. Starting to blossom

IMG_0261.JPG

• Kat0121
• Aug 2, 2015

Once he started coming out of the tote, I figured he'd be coming out of the room soon after. Well, no one told HIM that because he did not. It was months before he'd even go near the door to peek out. The door had been closed all the time until he met the girls and the dog and I determined that they were OK with each other. Then it was closed only during his mealtimes so he could eat in peace. Then it was open all the time, probably about a month or so in. It stayed open all the time after that and the girls and the dog visited him often. Finally after about 6 months, he started lurking by the door. DD and I would coax him out of the room with treats and pets. He's not food centric so that wasn't easy. He'd venture out a foot or 2, enjoy some pets then realize he was out of his room and bolt back in. A month of this and he started venturing out to explore just a little- a few feet outside the door. When he came out, he would look at me as though he expected to be scolded. I just acted like it was the most normal thing in the world and told him he was a good boy. He got braver and braver. Soon he discovered the big cat tree in the living room

Here he is relaxing on the top platform. His confidence is growing! 

IMG_0324.JPG

• Kat0121
• Aug 8, 2015

He was still going back to his room to sleep and it was still he safe place but he was venturing out more and exploring more. After a total of 8 months he finally came out of there for good and started visiting in my room and exploring the bed. Imagine my surprise when he jumped up on the bed one night when I was reading and snuggled down on one of the pillows

Look at that face. He's pretty happy

IMG_0510.JPG

• Kat0121
• Jan 14, 2016

It was always Sophie's job to wake me for breakfast. I guess she tagged him in because now I am awakened by the two of them and now I often wake up with him standing on my back. 

IMG_0549.JPG

• Kat0121
• Feb 2, 2016

He's still a work in progress. He's still skittish but he's come so far. Cats like ours are special. When he wouldn't come out of that room and it was months in, I started to panic. I second guessed myself, I was convinced that I had made a mistake, that I was doing everything wrong and that he didn't like me. I had to force myself to get a grip and realize that I was looking at this situation from my own point of view and not his. He was doing things the way he needed to and I had to calm down and just let him be himself. He was picking up on my anxiety and that wasn't helping. As soon as I relaxed and let him do his thing, he started to progress. I let him know that we loved him, we wanted him there and he could come and go as he pleased just like everyone else. He picked that up too and came out to explore more and more until he was out of there for good. The safe room is now the cat room and in it is all the litter boxes, the smaller cat tree that I got him when I originally put him in there and a twin sized bed that he loves to nap on. 

It takes more time and patience when you are dealing with a timid cat and this is a scenario where you CANNOT try to control the relationship.  You have to let them adjust at their own pace but they will. It's great that the girls have each other. That will help. They will realize quickly that your intentions are genuine and while they know that, it will still take time to build the trust.. They will come to you when they are ready. Yummy treats and interactive toys can be your best friend as they will help them associate you with good things. You can't change their past but you are changing their present and their future. They will adjust and soon it will be like they have always been there - for ALL of you. 

If they have a hard time getting adjusted, you can try Feliway diffusers or sprays or calming collars or treats. These things work for some cats but not all. There might be setbacks along the way but they are normal. You can do this and we are here to help. 

They are GORGEOUS!!!!  

 

[crazy4strays]

Those two girls are just beautiful! Thank you for rescuing these babies! 

Lots of love and patience and some Feliway diffusers should go a long way towards helping their stress.

I hope that your transition goes well. 

 

 

[jfoley85]

UPDATE - These two girls were left behind when someone move to a new apartment. They were loved, and cared for/spayed in their early life, but were callously abandoned in the beginning of December. For 3 weeks they saw no one and the departing owner had dumped a bag of dog food on the floor for them to survive on. 

They have been is the shelter for the last 10 weeks...and the two were separated. ( I understand doing this until the shelter has them tested, but after that ?!? ). Both cats had flipped over their cat beds and were cowering under the blankets. Yesterday I went in and told them I'd like to see the two of them together again. They may be in fear of me for awhile, but as long as they had a strong bond I figured we all might have a better chance for saving them emotionally. 

For a couple seconds they hissed, then joined each other under the blanket hiding together. I put my hand under the blanket to do some light ear scratching and the calico (Jinx) started head rubbing and purring pretty loudly right away. The black tiger took a little longer, but started purring a lil bit too, but very shy/distrustful still. 

*************
I adopted them both. I getting them later today, as I needed to convert my living room into their 'safe room' (lots of hiding spaces under the ottoman and sofa). I'm going to let them set the pace, not force anything but love upon these two. I'm expecting the black tiger to hide from me until she is ready to say hi, but that is ok. I plan on laying on the floor of the LR and reading a book to them (albeit quietly).  I try not to make too much eye contact, and not touch them until they start coming to me. 

I went to the front of the shelter to fill out the adoption papers for 5 minutes....when that was done I went back to let them know I would take them home in the morning....I picked up the edge of the blanket to peek under, and this is what I saw. I think we're gonna be ok. 

12789790_10153926488369593_1589396681_o.jpg

• chris gadbois
• Mar 9, 2016

Wow, they both look so cute !!! Good luck !!!!

Welcome to TCS!! 

Thank you for taking in these lucky girls and caring about them. 


I have 2 persian sisters, Lilith and Sophie who were rescued from an abandoned house in town with about 20 family members after a backyard breeder moved out and left them all behind. I call them sisters but I think that they are mother and daughter (Lilith mom to Sophie but no one knows for sure). They were both pretty young. Sophie was very timid and when I went into the shelter, it was to meet Lilith because I was only intending to get one cat. I ended up taking Sophie because the woman at the Humane Society was very dismissive of her. She told me I could ignore her because she wasn't friendly. I wouldn't call either one of them "outgoing" but Lilith is a little more so than Sophie. The fact that they had each other helped them adjust. 

I also have Henry. Henry was in a shelter from 4 months of age until 8 years of age. He was not socialized while he was there. He was used to humans being around but I really don't think that there was any interaction other than handing out food. When I brought him home, I had him in a spare room as a safe room. He was terrified and hid constantly. I set up a large cardboard box with a soft bed in it for him as his safe place in his safe room and he hid in there for a long time.

This is him in the box not long after he came home. He only hid behind the bed. he didn't use it

IMG_0033(1).JPG

• Kat0121
• Mar 2, 2015

The box was eventually replaced with a large plastic storage tote with a blanket in it that he also liked. I gradually introduced him to the girls and then the dog. They all get along fine but he would NOT come out of that room for anything. I sat in there with him, talked to him, read to him and gave him treats and little catnip toys which he likes. He does not like any other kind of toy including wand toys or laser pointers. He loved to be petted and started coming out of the tote for pets when I visited or brought his meals

Here he is coming out of the tote for pets. Starting to blossom

IMG_0261.JPG

• Kat0121
• Aug 2, 2015

Once he started coming out of the tote, I figured he'd be coming out of the room soon after. Well, no one told HIM that because he did not. It was months before he'd even go near the door to peek out. The door had been closed all the time until he met the girls and the dog and I determined that they were OK with each other. Then it was closed only during his mealtimes so he could eat in peace. Then it was open all the time, probably about a month or so in. It stayed open all the time after that and the girls and the dog visited him often. Finally after about 6 months, he started lurking by the door. DD and I would coax him out of the room with treats and pets. He's not food centric so that wasn't easy. He'd venture out a foot or 2, enjoy some pets then realize he was out of his room and bolt back in. A month of this and he started venturing out to explore just a little- a few feet outside the door. When he came out, he would look at me as though he expected to be scolded. I just acted like it was the most normal thing in the world and told him he was a good boy. He got braver and braver. Soon he discovered the big cat tree in the living room

Here he is relaxing on the top platform. His confidence is growing! 

IMG_0324.JPG

• Kat0121
• Aug 8, 2015

He was still going back to his room to sleep and it was still he safe place but he was venturing out more and exploring more. After a total of 8 months he finally came out of there for good and started visiting in my room and exploring the bed. Imagine my surprise when he jumped up on the bed one night when I was reading and snuggled down on one of the pillows

Look at that face. He's pretty happy

IMG_0510.JPG

• Kat0121
• Jan 14, 2016

It was always Sophie's job to wake me for breakfast. I guess she tagged him in because now I am awakened by the two of them and now I often wake up with him standing on my back. :lol3:



They got hammocks for Christmas and he loves them. Here his is recently having a nap in one. Big difference from the first picture in the box,right?

IMG_0549.JPG

• Kat0121
• Feb 2, 2016

He's still a work in progress. He's still skittish but he's come so far. Cats like ours are special. When he wouldn't come out of that room and it was months in, I started to panic. I second guessed myself, I was convinced that I had made a mistake, that I was doing everything wrong and that he didn't like me. I had to force myself to get a grip and realize that I was looking at this situation from my own point of view and not his. He was doing things the way he needed to and I had to calm down and just let him be himself. He was picking up on my anxiety and that wasn't helping. As soon as I relaxed and let him do his thing, he started to progress. I let him know that we loved him, we wanted him there and he could come and go as he pleased just like everyone else. He picked that up too and came out to explore more and more until he was out of there for good. The safe room is now the cat room and in it is all the litter boxes, the smaller cat tree that I got him when I originally put him in there and a twin sized bed that he loves to nap on. 

It takes more time and patience when you are dealing with a timid cat and this is a scenario where you CANNOT try to control the relationship.  You have to let them adjust at their own pace but they will. It's great that the girls have each other. That will help. They will realize quickly that your intentions are genuine and while they know that, it will still take time to build the trust.. They will come to you when they are ready. Yummy treats and interactive toys can be your best friend as they will help them associate you with good things. You can't change their past but you are changing their present and their future. They will adjust and soon it will be like they have always been there - for ALL of you. 

If they have a hard time getting adjusted, you can try Feliway diffusers or sprays or calming collars or treats. These things work for some cats but not all. There might be setbacks along the way but they are normal. You can do this and we are here to help. 

They are GORGEOUS!!!!  :love:

That story was very nice !!!! You have a handsome cat too !!!!

 

[mservant]

What a wonderful update @Chris Gadbois, I am so happy and excited for you being about to bring these sisters in to your home.  Their getting to be beside each other again left me speechless, and seeing that beautiful photograph of them under the blanket.  If they have already let you pet them a little under the blanket I feel positive that the introductions to your home should go well.  Your sitting peacefully in their room with them and reading aloud quietly is a wonderful idea.  They are very lucky to have caught your eye when you went along to that shelter.  

    I am looking forward to hearing how you get on intruducing them to your home, how they take to your readings, and hopefully some more photographs when you feel they are comfortable enough to let you bring out your camera.  

Do they have names which will be kept or are you planning to change them?

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I am so sorry you lost your previous cats, but so very happy that these two girls now have the benefit of a loving home!  I was getting weepy, reading about them huddled under their blanket, but hopefully purring.  This will take a little time, most likely, but it will be so worth it!  And if they purr when given affection, then the timeline is certainly shortened.  They are willing to try to trust.  Keep the photos coming.  Names?

 

[chris gadbois]

I got them home, the Calico has ventured out of the crate and under the couch (somewhere). The Black Tiger has yet to leave the crate, still hiding under the blankets. I laid down near the opening of the crate and lifted the blankets so she could see me....and I put a couple of Pounce treats in front of her face. She scooped them right up as I whispered to her how I wasn't going to leave her alone again, that I would take care of her, etc, etc. She started purring pretty heavily, but made no effort to leave the crate, so I left it at that.

Names - The Calico was named Jinx....I was gonna call her Copper, but I think I like Jinx, or Jinxy.

               Black Tiger was named MittMitt (2 white feet), but I'm gonna call her Kaya  (Bob Marley song, also Hopi Indian name meaning "elder sister" or stay, don't leave". - both of those meanings work for me)

will keep updated on the progress, for now just trying to let them settle. 

 

[jfoley85]

^ Yes, all they need now is a little bit of loving and time no matter how long it takes !!!!

 

[chris gadbois]

Update: The Calico (Jinx) came out after a day or so. She is a super friendly lap cat, sleeps on the bed all night. She has had a devious bout of diarrhea so I cut out the wet food until she stabilizes. I took her to the vets already and got a clean bill of health.

The Black Tiger (Onyx) I am having a problem with. She has been here a week and just started coming out to say hi 2 days ago. A couple of head butts, some ear scratches, bit of purring and then right back under the couch. I have her cat bed from the shelter set up under there and she spends 98% of the day in there. HERE IS MY PROBLEM -  Onyx has not really eaten since she came here. It is now Wednesday and she has not pooped since Sunday morning. She has a totally separate litter box from Jinx and (my vet recommended) her food and water bowls are behind the couch for ease of access.

Is not pooping for 4 days normal transitioning, or time to be concerned?

Normally I would have taken the cat to the vet already. But we are working on building trust and love and I fear that catching her and boxing her up for a vet trip will undo any good progress we already have made.

Thanks for any input.  ~ Chris 

 

[catpack]

How much has Onyx eaten? Is there anyway that Jinx could have eaten some of the food?

Yes, giving her easy access to the food was a great suggestion.

 

[jfoley85]

If I were you I'd call the vet and ask for advice. Mention to him/her your issues with Onyx and see what they have to say !!! If my cat ever had any potential problems pertaining to him and I was concerned about him, I'd call.Good luck !