Oral cancer and emotional rollercoaster

[Scarlett 001]

I am sorry to have to introduce myself under such sad circumstances. But I need all the support I can get.

Callym was adopted into my home over 4 years ago now, and had been a very sad rescue case at the no-kill shelter who found him - just a few pounds with frostbitten ears. I was deliberately looking to adopt a senior cat who needed a good retirement home when I found Callym (I had the space in my home for another cat, and wanted to help and old kitty out who needed a nice loving home) - he joined my family of 5 other cats. He is hyperthryoid and I've given him meds for 4 years now. We think Callym is about 16 years old now. Callym fit in with my cat family so well, and has been nothing but joy to have around. He is a part of my soul.

A little over a month ago my cat Callym was diagnosed with oral cancer at the back of the mouth. I decided on palliative pain management, and not to put him through chemo/radiation which are not that useful for oral cancer and I thought was too much to put him through given his age. So far he has been doing quite well, and he has quality of life and wants to be here still. He is eating quite well all things considered, and still purrs in my arms and is interested in life. The tumour does not physically impinge on his eating due to its position, but rather on occasion during the few downturns he has, it seems to get sore and ouchy (most of the time his pain meds control this). He's had about 3 downturns in the past month, but he has always rallied back. But at each downturn I think the end is near (I do not want him to suffer, so once he has a few days lacking quality of life I will let him pass peacefully) - and then he rallies and keeps on going with quality of life back again. The emotional rollercoaster this past month is beyond anything words can express. And I know that one time, he won't rally and I will have to let him go.

I've cried enough tears to fill an ocean, but every single day I have with him is a blessing. But now I am getting scared that his body won't be able to keep rallying back and sooner than later I will have to let him go. I don't know if I am seeking advice so much as words of support that I will somehow get through this. Right now I feel like I will never be happy again...my world has been torn apart by this.

This is Callym (orange and white kitty) snoozing with his sister Rexy about a week ago.

[Rosiemac]

Oh goodness, i'm so sorry

I imagine you working with your vet to know when the time is right?. Members who have been where you are will help you through this, but we all will

Lots of pain free, comfortable coming Callyms way, but keep us updated on how he does?

[Scarlett 001]

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

I imagine you working with your vet to know when the time is right

Thank you for your kind post. This is undoubtedly the saddest experience I have had to go through in my life - so kind comments help so much.

The vet is seeing Callym about 2 times a week, and we are indeed having a good conversation about the quality of life Callym has. My vet is not one to let a cat suffer, nor to take away the chance of more weeks of quality life if it is possible and the owner is willing to put in the effort it takes to manage this - we are on the same page throughout this. I also keep a wee journal (got the idea from an internet site) where I write notes and sort of rank how well he is going each day. That way when I see the not-so-good days appearing too much, I should recognize it.

[Rosiemac]

Originally Posted by Scarlett 001

I also keep a wee journal (got the idea from an internet site) where I write notes and sort of rank how well he is going each day. That way when I see the not-so-good days appearing too much, I should recognize it.

Your being so thorough on this, and it speaks volumes on your love for Callym

[Bella713]

Bless your heart Callym is a handsome boy, I hate to hear that he is going through this

I lost my beautiful Bella to lung cancer that went to her bone, it was so difficult to watch her go through it, but I gathered strength for her, because she needed me so much.

My advice would be to do exactly what you are doing, tell him everyday, many times a day, just how much he means to you and how much he brought to your life; how much you love him, etc. And when the time comes you will know it, he will let you know. I didn't have to make the decision to take Bella to the Vets, she died at home in my arms I pray Callym's passing is peaceful, and when that time comes, you will find the support here of many caring people that have been just where you are

My heart and my prayers are with you and Callym If you need anything do not hesitate to PM me

[Scarlett 001]

Thank you. Callym is sleeping peacefully on the couch now. He stopped eating last night as the tumour flared up, but once again he is rallying and he just ate a sort of average-sized meal about 1/2 hour ago so it must feel somewhat better. He may be rallying again, but like I said it is bittersweet as I know this cannot go on forever. Just wish I could hit "rewind" button on life and go back to the day I adopted him and brought him home. It does not feel like four years ago.

This is totally heartwrenching. Sharing this on this web site is already helping. I am going to write an entry in the New Cats section later this evening, in which I will formally introduce all 6 of my kitties.

[Rosiemac]

Poor baby, bless his little heart. This must be awful for you both

Originally Posted by Scarlett 001

I am going to write an entry in the New Cats section later this evening, in which I will formally introduce all 6 of my kitties.

I'll keep popping over there to have a look

[merindah]

I'm sorry to hear this sad news.

[motoko9]

Just wanted to add my condolences; it's never easy to go through this. I hope you take some comfort in knowing that you've given your friend four great years. It's obvious from your words and your photo that he has been very happy with you.

[white cat lover]

I wish I could offer advice....but there isn't much to do - but I do want to thank you so much for giving an older "reject" kitty a chance at life. Not many would.

[booktigger]

i am sorry to hear this, I know how you feel about being on an emotional rollercoaster, I have just lost my third terminally ill cat this year, and it is so hard weighing things up. The journal sounds like a fab idea, and one I shall try in the future, as it is easy to miss things. He is so lucky that you gave him that chance though, and you have done so much for him. I hope he can keep rallying round and surprising you, but just enjoy him as much as you can, take loads of pics so you have some fantastic memories. WE are all here if you need to talk.

[Scarlett 001]

Thank you everyone.

I do try and focus on the fact this guy almost did not get rescued and how lucky he was to find a real home - the woman who runs the cat rescue group had been trying to catch him for a week with no luck when she was cat-sitting in the countryside, and finally on her last day there after avoiding her all week, he strolled up and let her pop him in the carrier. What a blessing as that one decision on his part led to 4 years of love and security with me and my cat family vs. dying a painful death alone in the woods. I know I did the right thing adopting this great cat, but it sure hurts going through this and feeling so helpless when I feel so protective about him.