Lessons Learned and Some Ponderings

[Trouts mom]

So, I have been a member of another forum for almost 2 years now, and I am still a nobody there. I post as regularily as I do here, and yet still noone makes notice of me.

I realize that this is do to my "not cliqueing" if that makes sense.

I have noticed throughout the years here at TCS that mods always try to make everyone comfortable, and they try to make a point of discouraging "group" behaviour as to make sure noone feels left out.

I guess I am just trying to say that I love it here, and at the other forum I am a part of, everyone is very "group" oriented. I don't feel at home there and it really is a shame. Sometimes there will be entire threads that go on for weeks just about inside jokes. The mods don't do anything other than delete spam. Also, some of the members can find drama in ANY thread, and I mean ANY. Personal attacks are rampant.

So anyway, I remembered tonight how I myself have been a part of cliques in the past and I now realize that it is VERY apparent to other members, and it can make people feel alienated.

This is my lesson learned. I am much happier here than I have been in a while even though I don't post as often. I love how this forum is run, and I think members may take it for granted sometimes. I will continue to visit the other forum because I enjoy the topics, but this is my online home.

Thanks to everyone here who make others feel welcome. I hope I do the same.

[ut0pia]

I don't really belong to other forums so I'm shocked to find out that people form cliques on forums ...
In real life, I don't like cliques so I'm happy that they don't form here on TCS

[calico2222]

I know how you feel. I was a member of a forum a few years back and it was either inside jokes, or completely hostile if you don't agree with them. It was a forum for a book series (which I loved) but if you actually tried to discuss the books with them in a reasonable manner you were jumped all over if you didn't agree with what "they" thought.

I hate cliques. I hated them in high school and I hate them now. In fact, in high school when they put up all our names on a board, people wrote "nerd" beside our names. So...we became the "nerd-clique". We were actually happy, and 2 of my friends were validictorian and saluditorian for graduation (I was never that smart). But yeah, we were the nerds..we were in drama club, band, etc....but we had fun.

[Trillcat]

I was once booted from a depression message board. Yahoo
A woman had posted that she was near suicide, I posted to her on board. to try to help, I got reamed. NO CROSS TALK I was told and not in a good way by the site people. When I spoke my mind about that, they banned me and made fun of me for weeks. Did I mention this was a depression board, way to go guys and gals.

[strange_wings]

Originally Posted by ut0pia

In real life, I don't like cliques so I'm happy that they don't form here on TCS

There was a HUGE past thread about this. There is a clique - either you don't notice it or you're in it and will claim it's not there.

A good example is several people will have what they say completely ignored over and over again (unless they say something that can make someone else attack them) because they're not part of it.

[ut0pia]

Hmm stuff I say gets ignored sometimes..sometimes I just don't have anything interesting to say and I ramble on, or I post pointless threads.. But I don't feel like certain people get more attention or anything like that, just like I don't think the threads I do start that get a lot of responses are popular because I started it, it's all about the content IMO ..If people find it boring they won't respond..

[Snake_Lady]

Originally Posted by strange_wings

There was a HUGE past thread about this. There is a clique - either you don't notice it or you're in it and will claim it's not there.

I think all boards have their cliques.... just like in real life. Theres a few around unfortunately for some people.

I belong to many messageboards, and run one myself.... the only one without a clique is the one I run LOL and that is only because there's a low number of members and we all know each other well.

I do consider this board one of the friendlier ones to a point, and definately well moderated..... I'm glad some people feel very comfy here, I know I've made some wonder friends whom I cherish deeply and if it weren't for this site, I wouldn't have them. For that I'm thankful.

I've found many people here willing to share experiences, and for that I'm thankful.....I've learned so much, some hard lessons, some educational, some emotional....but I value all of em.

[Nekomania]

And that is why I left my other forum when I found you guys!!




The place I used to be a part of had very very choosey Mods that favorited certain members over others, which meant that I got stepped all over and insulted to high heaven without them doing anything to stop it.

One time I even had my picture stolen, edited, and then used for another member with the purpose of making fun of me.

[Duchess15]

I think this forum is pretty well run. A lot of people do care and that is what makes this place special!

I think there are a few cliques, but also many people know each other so that could also lead to the impression that others may get more attention in their posts.

I think a lot of it has to do with the content, but also who starts a thread. It is not always the case, but it does happen.

I am thankful for the friends I do have on here. It still is a forum and not everyone can be trusted, but if we don't take risks then we wouldn't gain anything in life.

[Catkiki]

Originally Posted by strange_wings

There was a HUGE past thread about this. There is a clique - either you don't notice it or you're in it and will claim it's not there.

A good example is several people will have what they say completely ignored over and over again (unless they say something that can make someone else attack them) because they're not part of it.

Originally Posted by Snake_Lady

I think all boards have their cliques.... just like in real life. Theres a few around unfortunately for some people.

I belong to many messageboards, and run one myself.... the only one without a clique is the one I run LOL and that is only because there's a low number of members and we all know each other well.

I do consider this board one of the friendlier ones to a point, and definately well moderated..... I'm glad some people feel very comfy here, I know I've made some wonder friends whom I cherish deeply and if it weren't for this site, I wouldn't have them. For that I'm thankful.

I've found many people here willing to share experiences, and for that I'm thankful.....I've learned so much, some hard lessons, some educational, some emotional....but I value all of em.

I agree with both these statements. Sometimes I feel ignored or overlooked but that may be because I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in. But I do like that the moderators do not allow bashing.

[Trouts mom]

Originally Posted by strange_wings

There was a HUGE past thread about this. There is a clique - either you don't notice it or you're in it and will claim it's not there.

A good example is several people will have what they say completely ignored over and over again (unless they say something that can make someone else attack them) because they're not part of it.

I honestly don't notice the clique(s) anymore on here. Maybe I am not around enough. I feel totally comfortable here now...maybe it's because I am not part of a clique anymore I am a "nerd" so to speak But I like it this way.

[GoldenKitty45]

This one, most of the Ocicat message boards, and the Labrador Retriever boards are the friendliest ones I'm on. Some others are not used a lot and so I kinda dropped out and only go there occasionally.

I think I am on about 6-7 different message boards