I've HAD it with my boyfriends' cousin!

[KiTTYL0VE4]

I have been wanting to post something about boyfriends' cousin for a long time now because the problems we have been having with him have been minor. But today, WOW.. I just have to rant about him. Let me start from the very beginning..

A few months after I moved into Mikes (BF) house, his aunt and 2 cousins moved in with us, because they got evicted from their apartment. Since then, he has been in and out of jail, and in between his jail times he had been kicked out of our house time and time again for various things.. Like getting drunk and peeing on Mikes dads computer, bringing under age girls into our house and drinkinbg with them, stuff like that.

Well, this summer, his cousin got evicted from the place where he was living, and even though Mikes parents didn't want him living here, they couldn't let him live on the street cuz he's family. He was told he could stay here UNTIL he found somewhere else to live. This was in July. Since he has moved here, he hasn't even started looking for a place to live.. Everyones patience with him is wearing thin. He works, and he NEVER pays Mikes mom rent, even though he was told he has to pay her. He keeps me up at night, and wakes me up every morning because he is inconsiderate and he doesnt even try to be quiet. He was told from theb get-go that his drinking and drug abuse would NOT be tolerated in the house, because of the above-mentioned peeing on the computer, and he takes anti-depressant pills to get high and he falls asleep with cigarettes, were afraid the house is going to burn down. He is always purposely getting on my nerves.. I am easily agitated and if someone is messing with me and I ask them to stop, but they keep doing it, I start to flip. I had a brain injury and since then, I have a hard time controlling my emotions, and people don't understand how easily I can snap. He is hanging by a thread as of right now.

Today, I went with Mike to my work to help his mom put away the grocery order. When I left, both cats were sleeping. When I got home, I yelled out for them to eat. Monster NEVER misses a meal.. Well, he was gone. Mikes cousin has been told TIME and TIME again that he CANNOT leave any doors open and if he goes out the door he has to make sure he didn't let a cat out. Well I finally found him in between the two fences in the backyard, and I swear I have never seen Monster act the way he did. He was acting feral! He sliced open Mikes finger, and I JUST trimmed the cats claws yesterday. I can clip them very short, because I know what I am doing.

This is the last straw when it comes to this kid.. Seriously, Mikes parents can't stand him, I'm starting to hate him, he's gettin on Mikes last nerve, he doesn't pay rent. And everytime me or Mike says something to his parents about him they say things like "Well, we didn't want him here, you guys did". SO not true. I knew these problems would occur, they always do. I even mentioned this to them before they told him he could stay here, trying to save them the aggrivation. UGH..

Maybe this was pointless.. But I needed to vent, this dude is just so careless and he knows how much my cats mean to me.. Yet he still isn't careful when opening doors!

[strange_wings]

Who's house is it? If your bf doesn't own it you two could always move - if that's not possible and you're paying rent, kick him out.

One way to get him out of there would be to call the police when he is doing something illegal. You don't want him getting caught for bring minors in. Drugs you could claim ignorance of, but not people and that could get the two of you in serious trouble.

Kick him out, get his stuff out of the house, change the locks and make sure the windows are locked. If he tries to break in, call the police.


That sounds mean, but the cat being out would have been the last straw for me, too.

[KiTTYL0VE4]

Mike and I can't kick him out, its Mikes parents house..

When he gets drunk, he is told he CANNOT come home, Same goes for if he is messed up on pills. We lock the doors, and secure the windows. What he does is, he will wait until everyone is asleep, and he will climb onto the roof and try to break into his sisters room. He has done it before, but my BF got clever and shoved a board in there so he can't, and he'd have to break the window to get in.

Mike and I complain about him to Mikes parents, were hoping they will make him leave, but its their decision to make him, and so far, they just haven't. I'm really mad, Monster could have been killed.

[tierre0]

Originally Posted by strange_wings

Who's house is it? If your bf doesn't own it you two could always move - if that's not possible and you're paying rent, kick him out.

One way to get him out of there would be to call the police when he is doing something illegal. You don't want him getting caught for bring minors in. Drugs you could claim ignorance of, but not people and that could get the two of you in serious trouble.

Kick him out, get his stuff out of the house, change the locks and make sure the windows are locked. If he tries to break in, call the police.


That sounds mean, but the cat being out would have been the last straw for me, too.

Exactly, keep in mind that the stuff he is doing, drugs, bringing minors into the house and providing them with alcohol. These things are illegal and they could also get you into as much trouble as they could get him into.
And he doesn't exactly stand out as someone who would take the blame should he get caught. In fact he would most likely throw you to the wolves to get himself out of trouble.
You have given the guy more then one chance and he has proven that he is not worth it.
Get rid of him, and get him out of the house before he drags you down to his level and you all end up in trouble.

And as for the fact it's his parents house not yours perhaps you should remind them of the fact that they could be held a responsible as well.

Have you guys thought of doing a intervention and getting him into treatment.
And finally if his parents aren't willing to kick him out perhaps it is time for you and your boyfriend to severe the ties and move out yourselves.
Where there's a will there's a way.

[Dusty's Mom]

I'm a big believer of asserting your independence when you are an adult, or when you think you are. That means moving into a place you can call your own and where you make the rules. An adult should never need to depend on other family members for food, housing or cash. If that means living alone, well prove to yourself and your family and friends that you are woman enough to do it!

Good luck!

[Rosiemac]

The cats are priority so i would be looking for somewhere else to live. I couldn't live like that knowing my cats are being let outside by idiots

[KiTTYL0VE4]

Mike and I cannot afford to move, or we would. I do not make enough money to move, and Mike was out of work for a long time, just got a job, and even then we still wouldn't have enough income together to get our own place.

The thing with providing minors with alcohol, that was years ago, and it got him kicked out. Mikes parents keep letting him come back. We make Mikes parents aware of his activities, hoping they will kick him out, but they don't listen to us. It seems as if they don't care. I'm sick of always having to worry about his activities and how it can put my cats in danger..

Again, I would LOVE to move, but I just can't. I don't have the means to do so.. Going and looking for a place and finding one, would be taking food out of my cats mouths. They are the most important.

[SwampWitch]

I'd lay down the law for Cousin; tell him the rules and explain how much rent he is to pay and when. The rent should be a fair price, the amount that everyone else pays. Tell him if he fails to follow the rules, he's out of the house, and kick him out. (Mike and his parents need to be with you on this.)

Cousin needs to get himself some help or he needs to hit bottom then get some help.

[LaRussa]

Throw him the heck out, tell Mike he needs to make a decision. Either the cousin goes or you go. I would not have that jerk stay one more day in the same house, you were lucky to find Monster, things could've been a lot worse. Get rid of this guy, family or not.

[LaRussa]

Originally Posted by KiTTYL0VE4

Mike and I cannot afford to move, or we would. I do not make enough money to move, and Mike was out of work for a long time, just got a job, and even then we still wouldn't have enough income together to get our own place.

The thing with providing minors with alcohol, that was years ago, and it got him kicked out. Mikes parents keep letting him come back. We make Mikes parents aware of his activities, hoping they will kick him out, but they don't listen to us. It seems as if they don't care. I'm sick of always having to worry about his activities and how it can put my cats in danger..

Again, I would LOVE to move, but I just can't. I don't have the means to do so.. Going and looking for a place and finding one, would be taking food out of my cats mouths. They are the most important.

Couldn't you move in with your parents, is that an option.

[GoldenKitty45]

Its up to Mike's parents to kick him out (which they should - family or not). Is there ANY other relatives or friends that you guys can live with till you get your own place?

I would look at every other opportunity to get your own place. If it means living on bare bones - do so.

I would do whatever it took to get out of that house by the end of the year. And personally, I'd crate the cats or lock your door to your room to protect them when you are gone so they can't escape.

[capt_jordi]

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Its up to Mike's parents to kick him out (which they should - family or not). Is there ANY other relatives or friends that you guys can live with till you get your own place?

I would look at every other opportunity to get your own place. If it means living on bare bones - do so.

I would do whatever it took to get out of that house by the end of the year. And personally, I'd crate the cats or lock your door to your room to protect them when you are gone so they can't escape.

I have to agree with this. I would look for a large dog crate or 2 and keep the kitties in there while you are gone if nothing else. Make sure to exhaust all options. And maybe just drive around some and keep an eye out for for rent signs up in yards. There are landlords out there with hearts and you may be able to find one that will work with you. Maybe one that will let you pay rent in smaller payments more often than one big one once a month?

Good luck!