cat looking for dead sibling

[Menou Lover]

We just lost Sheba to cancer (9/22/09) Tuesday. We have 5 remaining cats in the home.

We need to grieve the loss of our dear pet that is the way of life. How do you help cats with their grief?

There is one in particular we are worried about her sibling Shela. Shela was the runt and attached to her sister since birth. That is one of the reasons we brought Sheba home was for Shela.

Shela is searching the house everywhere for her sister. In toys, under things in closets calling her. She has become more vocal in two days time getting louder as if she thinks if she is loud enough her sister will hear her.

She sits and stares at me, as if asking where is her sissy. She crawls up next to me when I lay down in bed and lets me pet her to sleep (this is new)

Shela is a cat who when you touch her she has to lick herself clean. She could never stand being touched.

Any ideas how to deal with some of these issues?

She is sitting on my desk now just staring at me (again something she never did before). So I talking to her in calm tones.

hugs Meno Lover

[icklemiss21]

I have no idea, but I am going through the same thing with one of mine - the only time she stops crying is if I hold her (which is why I am typing one handed).

We are thinking of getting her a friend

[kscatlady]

Aww, poor baby. I'm so sorry for both of you. Maybe you could get her a friend?

[Menou Lover]

I don't think that is going to work

If you think about it in human terms. If I lost a sister I was attached to, there would be no getting a new sister. Their loss is as real as ours accept they don't understand what happened. One day their friend was their and the next gone.

Not all cats get along, in getting a new pet your looking at upsetting an apple cart. There has to be a better way to help ourselves and our pets through this time of pain and sorrow.

Hugs Menou Lover

p.s. there are 4 other cats remaining in our home. She knows its her sissy missing and she can't find her. she is not looking for a new friend she is looking for her old friend.

[sk_pacer]

You have to let the cat handle the grief itself. It cannot be fixed by getting a different cat as the cat wants its old buddy back, If the grieving cat choses you for a replacement buddy, let her be as it is her way of handling things - remember, YOU are the constant in her life as she knew it prior to the death. This will likely pass to a greater or lesser degree, it just takes time.

[CatMom2Wires]

I lost my Sheba to cancer on July 6 of this year. Her brother was crushed and was very sad, as well as very clingy to me. It took him a few days and he seemed to accept things and has moved on at this point.

Unfortunately, it does take some time, but you all will get through this.

I'm very sorry for the loss of YOUR Sheba.

Cally

[kscatlady]

Originally Posted by Menou Lover

Their loss is as real as ours accept they don't understand what happened. One day their friend was their and the next gone.

Not all cats get along, in getting a new pet your looking at upsetting an apple cart. There has to be a better way to help ourselves and our pets through this time of pain and sorrow.

Of course, however it does work in some situations.

[rapunzel47]

It also helps if you talk to the kitty about the lost sibling, about her passing -- tell her what has happened. It may seem strange, but they understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Just talk to her as you would a young child going through the same thing, and reassure her a lot.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[icklemiss21]

Originally Posted by Menou Lover

I don't think that is going to work

If you think about it in human terms. If I lost a sister I was attached to, there would be no getting a new sister. Their loss is as real as ours accept they don't understand what happened. One day their friend was their and the next gone.

Not all cats get along, in getting a new pet your looking at upsetting an apple cart. There has to be a better way to help ourselves and our pets through this time of pain and sorrow.

Hugs Menou Lover

p.s. there are 4 other cats remaining in our home. She knows its her sissy missing and she can't find her. she is not looking for a new friend she is looking for her old friend.

That depends on the dynamic of the household, I also have 4 remaining cats, Autumn was the last one in and bonded with Scully, the other three were our original cats and share a bond they are not willing to share with her.

I dont think a new cat will replace Scully, for me or her but I also do not want her to be lonely because the boys, as nice as they are being to her right now had a 3 year plus bond before we ever got Scully and more before she was introduced and are just not willing to share that with her.

She on the other hand has accepted every single animal I have fostered without issue - every single one has been a new playmate for her

[jennyranson]

When I lost Napoleon, his brother, Wellington, cried for him for weeks, whatever I did. I had four other cats at the tiome and none of them could comfort him in any way. But then suddenly Biscotte turned up in the barn one day, came inside and Wellington just adopted her. From then till now they have been inseparable just as the two brothers were. SO you never know what could happen. But as said, the cat has to decide what and whom it will accept. Meanwhile, just hug her and talk to her and give her as much love as she is prepared to take.

[mews2much]

So sorry you lost her.
When I lost Stormy Meekos half sister in December 2007 Meeko became very upset and sick because she refused to eat.
I had just got Oreo and that was the best thing I could have done because Meeko became friends with her and started eating.
A month later I lost Yoshi Meekos son and she became the same way but not as bad.
Her and Stormy were very close.

[KKH]

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

It also helps if you talk to the kitty about the lost sibling, about her passing -- tell her what has happened. It may seem strange, but they understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Just talk to her as you would a young child going through the same thing, and reassure her a lot.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I know it really sounds strange but this was exactly the thing my family did for our family cats several times.

First we adopted this female ferral who happened to be pregnant - we did not really know that she was until one day she delivered several at our house.
Unfortunately only 2 female kittens had made it. Few days after the delivery, this mother cat walked around looking, also kept meowing at my parents as if she was asking "what happened to my babies? I thought there were more. Where are they?".

Because she repeatedly doing this, my dad told her, "No sweetie, these 2 were the only babies you had. There were no other." as if he's talking to a human. Eventually, seemed she understood and stopped meowing or looking around.

When this mother cat died few years ago, one of the daughter cat who was extremely attached to her did exactly the same thing, walking around, looking everywhere and continuously meowing. Again, my parents did the same - talking to this poor kitty who was mourning the loss of her mother.

People(including my parents) tend to think & often says that animals do not have feelings or emotions like human-beings do. These 2 incidents made my parents realized that animals are just like us - they do understand circumstances and have the kind of feelings & emotions like we do.

I am very sorry for your loss.
Hope your would comfort her for going through this tough time