This was sent to me by my Dad, a staunch Republican. No offense indended to my friends who are Democrats, these are generalizations about the left-wing and I fully realize that not ALL Democrats believe all this stuff! Turnabout is fair play, so if you have a funny about the evil Republicans, feel free to post it. :D


HOW TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by yuppies driving SUV's.

You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but loony activists who've never been outside Seattle do.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.

You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

You have to believe that this letter is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.

That was the best!!! Being a staunch Republican myself, I agree with every point. I realize it was meant to be humorous, but it is so true!

LOL!!!!!!!!! I am neather!

Question: isn't the phrase "good Democrat" an oxymoron?;) :D

Yes!:D

I personally find it offensive, because it is divisive. It smacks too much of the old "better dead than red" (remember learning about McCarthyism in school?) or "my country, right or wrong" (don't you think many of Saddam's Republican Guards share that sentiment?) As an expat, I can no longer vote, but when I could, I never automatically voted for the party I was registered with, because I feel mature and knowledgeable enough to make my own calls, without listening to the parties' rhetoric. Don't you ask yourselves why the Republican Party in particular spends so much time attacking others, rather than allowing people to judge the party on its merits or lack of merits? I simply don't trust anybody who tries to paint a picture of a black and white world - not even a six-year-old is naive enough to believe it (I hope / wish, though I unfortunately know a lot of adults in various countries who really are that naive).

But that's exactly what this is poking fun of, the people who will vote strictly party lines, never know or care about what is going on within their party, and see the world only in terms of following strictly what the party says. Democrats are right, Republicans are wrong, period (or vice versa). ONLY their party has the right way to run

I'm a Republican, and I'm sure there's a very similar list of How to Be a Good Republican. Both parties are equally ridiculous if you look at what their strict line is, and the extremes on both sides.

When it comes to humor, politics are fair game.

How true. You should see what it's like in other countries, where they don't have a two-party system, and countries are run by coalitions where a little extreme-right or extreme-left party can blackmail its bigger coalition partner into pursuing certain policies.
Austria and Israel are recent examples, and I've lost count of how many administrations Italy has had since WWII. In other words, no system is perfect, but the party spindoctors and "purists" really rile me.

What I love about Canada is there is a political comedy show called This Hour has 22 minutes. They hold nothing back and everyone is fair game. The best thing is that the politician get involve and help make fun of politics. The actors go right to parliment hill and get everyone involed. A few years ago the sho won a Gemini award (Canadian Emmy) and they brought to a public meeting where the Prime Minister was giving a speech. The actor walked right up to the PM and gave it to him saying "you are the reason we won this". The PM laughed , took the award and then started thanking everybody from his wife to his mother. It was hilarious! I love it when politicians don't take themselves too seriously! Another time on the show the politicians sang a song to the peace keepers in Bosnia.

Ady that show sounds like a hoot! I would love it if they could do that here in the US. Unfortunately, most politicians take themselves WAY too seriously here. You rarely even see them as guests on late night talk shows like David Letterman. There are a few, but not many. As much as I didn't care for Bill Clinton's politics, he did make himself available to the humorous side of things and was able to take it all in stride. I will give him that much. ;)

I got a kick out of John McCain's stint on "Saturday Night Live", a few months ago. The sketch, in which he sang Barbra Streisand songs was priceless!

I take no offense with the humor, but I resent the statement that it is true. There are no two people alike, let alone two Democrats. I am a Democrat. I am pro-life and anti-death penalty. Religion, upbringing, moral standards and education shape the person, not politics. This was meant to be a joke, not an insult. We find the party that meets as many of our personal standards as possible, and those who are intelligent split their ballot when that party's candidate does not meet those standards.

I'm sure the Republicans in our group would consider it equally insulting if I used the stereotypical description of the cruel, gun-loving Republican, who would rather see a mother and child starve than assist mother in gaining the skills necessary for gainful employment. That's the same sort of blanket statement without the humor, but no more insulting. It is just as ridiculous as saying all Democrats meet the criteria in Heidi's original post, but there are Democrats who believe it. I was taught a valuable lesson in Grade 2. If a statement contains the word "always" or "all", it is usually false.

Right on!

Well said, Jeannie. It is fine to joke about things, but to truly believe it is what I have a problem with. I am also a Democrat, although I label myself a moderate who leans to the left.

Neither party is perfect, there are extremists on both ends of the spectrum. I feel that the Democrats represent what I believe in more closely than the Republicans.

What we need in the US is a strong third party to shake up both Dems. and Repubs. Then maybe some actual work could get done.

Jcat: Yes, it does seem that Republicans attack Democrats more often than Democrats attack Republicans.

Jeanie and Brenda - do you think it's just a coincidence that all three of us are from Pennsylvania (I'm from Philly)and appear to have very similar political views?

To be brutally honest? I think it takes a lot of courage to post a dissenting opinion when you know it's going to be met with insults, instead of informed and respectful argument. I know we are not alone in our opinions. Mr. Bush was not elected by the popular vote.

Also, we are all teachers, and don't accept generalities as truth. I love philosophical discussion, but the first rule of philosophy is that you respect your opponent. Thank God our country has a system of checks and balances, and that we are a democratic republic, in which every person's rights are protected. On this forum, as on all forums, we are supposed to treat one another with respect-- individuals and groups, even dissenting groups.

Hehe!! I love politics humor. Overall, I'm a Republican, I guess, but I still make all my own decisions about something. I don't just "agree with whatever my party says."

OK, since I'm the one that posted the joke, I thought I should jump back in here. :) It was meant as humour, and I know that there aren't many if any Democrats who actually believe all the tripe in that joke. I would love to see a humorous account of what Republicans believe. If any of you have one, PLEASE post it! I can take it! ;)

I can't speak for anyone else's replies, but I took it that they agreed with the joke, not that Democrats actually are this way. The title, "How to be a Good Democrat" says to me that it's showing what the strict party line is. I know everyone here is smart enough to make their own choices, not just follow the party line.

I do apologize profusely for offending people. That wasn't the intention and I was hoping that all the Democrats could take this as it was meant, as a joke.

As for posting a dissenting opinion....there are just as many Democrats as Republicans in this country. You want to know what disenting opinion is? Try being a Republican teacher (I was for a while, a teacher I mean). :)

Heidi, my dear friend, why are you apologizing? My objection was to the people who said that ridiculous list was an accurate depiction of a Democrat, not you. But believe me, not one of those statements is a strict party line! There aren't many people with an IQ low enough to believe even one of them. Example:

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
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I enjoy humor, but I can't believe anyone would think that list was anything other than humorous- or that you intended it to be anything other than a joke. I'd have to re-read it and hunt very carefully, in fact, to find one statement with which I would agree. It's very broad humor, that's all- nothing wrong with that!

My remarks about dissenting opinion refer to the fact that 35% of the population disagreed with the president-or, as in my case, were unsure about the wisdom of his decision. Yet, only a few members out of the thousands we have are posting that opinion in any of the war threads. IMO, they have seen others being insulted and choose not to post.

Philosophical discussion is not an excuse to insult those who disagree, but an opportunity to present our various opinions in a respectful manner. That's how I was taught when I studied philosophy and English, and it's how I taught my own students. Not once in a philosophy class with students from the ages of 18 to 45 did I hear anyone insult a fellow student. It's just not done. That would be called "fighting," not intelligent discussion.

The idea for this forum is a good one. I hope people use it the way it was intended. State your case, back it up with facts and reasoning, and be prepared to defend it.

Heidi, Please don't apologize. I know it was meant as a joke, and was not bothered by it. It's just that a few people carried it further and said how true each and every statement is. Like Jeanie, I find it hard to agree completely with any of those ideas.

Of course, there is probably an equally ridiculous one about Republicans. Our political parties are becoming a joke, too concerned about the party line to get any meaningful governing done. That is the sad part.

Take a look at "Over here, in the equal insults corner".