Tabbytudes Cat Behavior Column - February 2003

February 2003

Dear Readers,

I am delighted to be writing the TabbyTudes Column. I look forward to hearing from you about your feline's foibles, and hope to offer useable advice and insight that will improve the lives we share with our special felines. Although I can't answer every letter in detail, where possible I will try to offer some general advice at the end of each column, to address readers' concerns that have been raised. And of course, lots more information is available in my books.

Purrs,
Amy

Letter of the Month: Our Cats Hate Each Other!

Hello to you,

I have quite a problem and I hope you can help my daughter and me work this out. We had a four-cat home, all are fixed and totally indoor cats, and all was fine. We have fostered many kittens through the house for a cat rescue and adoption program through Petsmart. All cats did well with having other kittens in the house. Then four months back we found a kitten, half dead beside the road. We isolated it until it had a health check from the vet. My youngest daughter wanted to keep him but my cat Suki hates this kitten with a passion. She is what my vet calls the alpha leader? She has attacked him many times and we tried the squirt gun at first to make her stop. But the vet said she won't kill it, let her have it and see what she does. It didn't go well. Suki put a puncture in his head and it had to be drained lots of time at the vet's office.

We have tried everything, but for some unknown reason, Suki hates the poor little guy. He on the other hand, is scared to death. He stays locked upstairs, so that Suki cannot get him. And when we try to put her upstairs and let him have time downstairs, he is paranoid and so frightened that he tries to scrabble upstairs to his safety zone. I feel it's best to place him for adoption, I hate to think of him having to live his life out in fear and I think he is going crazy (does that make sense?) The lady who runs the cat adoption center told me that chances are, that for whatever reason, Suki will probably always torment this kitten and she advised me try to place him asap. But my daughter wants to try different things to see if it will get better. I don't want to upset my daughter, but feel guilty having this poor dear be a prisoner in our home.

Do you think that Suki will quit tormenting him? Knowing cat behavior, do you have any opinions for us? We sure could use your expertise. The adoption lady said that since he is soon due to be neutered, she can have that done at her vets and then place him and he would soon find a good home. If not, then we have to have him fixed, which I wouldn't mind IF we thought things would change and Suki would stop trying to kill him. I had thought maybe when he was fixed, he would not anger Suki so much. But the vet told us that Suki has hated him ever since he was a tiny kitten, so fixing him won't change her attitude. Please please help us? And not trying to be a nag, but if you could get back with me as soon as you could, that would be great. I need to make a decision and feel either way that I will end up the bad person in my daughter's eyes, as it's my cat that attacks the kitten. But I told her when she asked if she could keep it, we would have to see. Thanks so much for reading this long mail and I will await your advice.

Kind regards, Donna Marie

Amy Shojai's Reply:

Dear Donna Marie,

First of all, bless you for rescuing this needy kitten-and for all your fostering work over the years. That experience has no doubt given you a good feel for cat behavior and interactions, particularly as they apply to your four resident cats. Thanks for your letter and detailed history of the situation-I'll do my best to offer some suggestions. From your description, Suki does appear to have definite ideas on who is to be welcomed into the family. And as you know, sometimes we make a heart-connection with a kitty waif-as has your daughter-and then must struggle to make the rest of the furry clan accept the newcomer.

I know it's frustrating to have fostered kittens with no problem in the past, and now have Suki protest. Some of that may have to do with Suki's age. You don't mention how old she is, but cats often are quite forgiving of intruders and more emotionally flexible earlier in life. The older they get, the more they seem to cling to the religion of "status quo at all cost!" You should also know that cats tend to reach social maturity between two to four years of age-prior to that age, they may have been very accepting, but once they hit this magic period their tolerance quotient may narrow. Just as it may be love at first sight, there's an equal chance cats will dislike each other on sight.

Also, cats allowed to indulge their anger to the point of reaching attack mode tend to develop a sort of toggle-switch reaction to the mere sight of a hated one. Suki doesn't need to be aggravated by the kitten, nor does she even think about the situation-her lil' kitty brain just remembers that, "when I see him, I hiss and attack" and so she does. It's become a habit, she's almost trained herself to react in this way. In fact, every time the boy has visited the vet clinic, he's come home smelling "foreign" all over again, and that may have also prompted Suki to continue throwing her fits.