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Written by Wendy Christensen
Q: I have an 11 month old boy Cornish Rex, Romeo. My parents and I bought him and his brother about 6 months ago. They got altered at 7 months and have been the perfect cats, unlike any we have had before.
A couple of months ago I moved into an apartment with Romeo and he has been a totally different cat. He is super noisy and needy. His play level has also increased a lot, probably due to the fact that he and his brother are separated now. He used to LOVE being held, not letting me put him down, sometimes I'd hold him for an hour straight. He also did this neat thing where he'd jump up to me (to be held) when I patted my stomach. Now that concept is completely foreign to him and he only lets me hold him for 5 seconds, then squirms to get down. It is just so weird, like a totally different cat.
He also has become VERY vocal, crying when he wants attention, even though I give him a lot. He also only drinks water from the faucet and meows by the sink until someone turns the water on. I've tried to ignore him, but feel so bad and he just won't stop. He just seems so neurotic now. He's still a very good cat, sweet, sleeps with me under the covers every night, etc. But a few things that I miss have changed. Do you think it's the move? A smaller environment? Being away from his brother? Oh, I also take him to my parents house every week or two and he visits with his brother. They love it, like they've never been separated, and he still knows where the litter box and food is, it's very cool. But, when I bring him there, he's quiet and doesn't act neurotic, although he still doesn't like to be held.
What I can do? Should I start ignoring his crying.
A: I think Romeo is definitely lonesome. And while he's specifically lonesome for his brother at the moment, I think what he needs in general is the company of cat(s) to be really happy. Cats are much more social, and sociable, animals that people generally realize, and really do prefer the company of other cats - as long as there's plenty of everything (food, love and attention, space, litter boxes, etc.) to go around. Small wild cats tend to be unsocial loners because their lives are so tough - they must hunt and compete, and defend territory, for every bit of food they get. So their social tendencies are overridden by their need to survive from day to day.
But a lone domestic pet cat, especially a social breed like a Rex, is going to be very lonesome if he doesn't have someone (cat or human) to interact with all the time. (I'm assuming you're at work or out much of the daytime hours.) Personally, I think it's cruel and insensitive to ignore a lone cat's social needs, though it happens a lot because people don't yet realize that cats ARE social animals under good living conditions. Is there any possibility that you could bring Romeo's brother to live with you and Romeo? Let your parents keep Romeo so the boys can be together? (And get a couple of new cats for yourself?) Adopt a couple of kittens to keep Romeo company at your place?
I think it's not just a matter of ignoring his cries. Many behaviorists will advise this, but what happens is that eventually the lonely cat just gives up and stops seeking out companionship entirely, and becomes a sad, lonely recluse. His true personality never gets a chance to shine. I think this kind of situation is tragic.
So rather than ignoring his cries, pay attention to what they're saying: "I'm lonesome, I'm unhappy," and brainstorm about what you can do to make his life more complete. He acts needy because he IS needy. He's not "neurotic," really; he's just trying very, very hard to communicate his loneliness and unhappiness to you. But if he remains in that state, he may truly become a permanently sad, even "neurotic" cat. And that would be a shame.
I wonder... Is Romeo's brother at your parent's house showing similar signs when the boys are separated? Or does he have other cats there to keep him company? You might well discover that answering this question shows that Romeo is not necessarily lonely JUST for his brother, but more for the daily company of his own species.
As for the faucet-drinking, he may just be enjoying the extra attention, or telling you he wants a cat fountain. There are several brands available (Drinkwell, CatIt, Fresh Flow) and most cats really love them.
Herding Cats at Home - April 2006 2
Herding Cats at Home - April 2006 3
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