Herding Cats at Home - February 2005

A: Many cat owners think of these soft bites-while-petting as "love bites." But it's not a good idea to encourage this behavior, or to encourage your cat to think of ANY kind of biting (even soft "love bites") in connection with petting and affection.

Cats are highly sensitive animals, and are especially sensitive to touch. They're very easily over-stimulated. When a cat is over-stimulated, his natural reaction is to use his weapon systems (teeth and claws) to terminate or mitigate the source of the stimulation - even if it's pleasant over-stimulation, like petting from a loved person.

Here's some advice from my latest book, "Outwitting Cats" (The Lyons Press, 2004). The situation being described is a tummy-petting session that has resulted in claws wrapped around your arm, or teeth starting to clamp down on your hand, but it applies equally to any situation of affectionate over-stimulation.

"Don't panic, don't yell, and don't get mad. And don't move. Remember -- your cat's over-stimulated and any movement -- especially trying to snatch your arm away -- will stimulate him further and make him dig those claws in even deeper. Instead, very slowly press your arm towards him. This should momentarily confuse him. (Prey doesn't move towards a predator). Let him calm down until you feel the claws retract. (Try not to squeal in pain.) Disengage your arm s-l-o-w-l-y. It may take a few tries before he's calmed down enough to let you go. Be patient!

If you know for sure your cat enjoys tummy rubs, wait until he asks for one by rolling over. But don't start with his tummy! Touch the back of his head or other "neutral" spot. Then, slowly move your hand around, paying close attention to his mood and reactions. When he's on his back he's very vulnerable, and self-defensive instincts can instantly trump friendship. Keep a close eye on his eyes, whiskers and ears for clues that he's had enough. Watch for these warning signs:

• body tenses up
• pupils narrow
• skin along his back starts to twitch and ripple
• tail starts to lash
• ears flatten
• claws or teeth (or both) sink into your arm (Oops! too late!)

If you notice them, stop at once. Give him some quiet time to settle down.

Keeping tabs on your cat's body language will help you see when he's started to become over-stimulated. Stop before he starts in on the love bites. Whatever you do, don't yell or punish him. Quietly terminate the interaction by getting up and leaving the area. If you let him continue to bite, he is likely to become more intensely stimulated and the bites may become harder - because he's getting positive feedback from you. Not a wise idea.

A: Take your cat to the veterinarian right away!. ANY bleeding wound should be looked at by a doctor. Even if the tongue DOES heal "on its own," the fact that your cat isn't eating or drinking shows that he's in pain, and perhaps even that his tongue is badly damaged. A cat who doesn't eat or drink for just a few days is at risk for a serious liver disorder. In addition, your cat may have other injuries you haven't noticed. He may have been in a fight with another cat, or tussled with a wild critter. Please call your veterinarian or emergency veterinary clinic ASAP. I would consider this an emergency.

A: Buster is a "toddler," and like human toddlers, he's trying to push your buttons to see just how much he can get away with. He sounds like a real character! Of course he "will not mind!" "Minding" just isn't a cat thing. Cats do what they do for reasons of their own, and punishment, correction and discipline just don't work with them. You need to persuade him, not command him.

If Buster is persistent in coming up on the dinner table during meals, lock him out of the dining room (or in a different room, equipped with everything he needs) during meals. Let Charlie, who behaves, stay. Don't make a big deal out of it; just cheerfully escort Buster to his retreat before you sit down to eat. He might be persuaded over time that if he wants to enjoy your company, he needs to stay off the table. Some cats just take a bit longer to get the message than others.

With cats, its vital to be consistent. If you want the cats to stay off the table while you're eating, you must make the table off limits at ALL times, not just mealtimes. So anytime you see him on the table, cheerfully and gently remove him to the floor and say a special "cue phrase" like, "No table hopping, Buster." Use the same words, and the same tone of voice, every time. Again, don't make a big deal out of it. Just put him on the floor, and quietly leave the room. If you stay, he's likely to think the whole thing is a fun game. Often, by removing the audience (you), you remove much of the motivation for the behavior.

Another strategy is to provide a cat-appropriate high surface in the room, from which Buster (and Charlie) can observe human dining rituals without tiptoeing among the serving platters. Much of the reason cats go up on tables, bookshelves, and the like is to get a better view. They really like to be high up, above it all. The more cat-friendly, high surfaces you can provide throughout your home, the better. A few sturdy scratching post / climbing trees are a great investment in feline health and happiness (and human sanity, too).

So: Be patient, be persistent, be cheerful and matter-of-fact and above all, be consistent.