Herding Cats At Home - December 2004

Q: My husband and I owned a 2 year old neutered male (Kingston) and a 9 year old neutered male (V8). V8 grew up around lots of different animals and has always been very social with new cats. Kingston has never met anyone other than V8. We decided this past August to adopt another kitty that could keep up with Kingston. He's so young and active, we thought he could use a younger friend. We adopted a 20 month old spayed female (Rutgers) that has lived with many other kitties and has always gotten along well with them without any introduction troubles.

We tried to do the introductions slowly over 5 weeks. But there were two accidental meetings that were very traumatic to Rutgers and Kingston. The first time, she got out of the room and was running down the stairs. Kingston was on the stairs and it probably appeared as if she was going to attack him -- they both stopped in their tracks, freaked out because they weren't expecting each other and a cat fight almost began. The second time, Rutgers was out in the house and we had the boys in the bedroom sniffing her "territory." Kingston got out of the bedroom and knew he wasn't suppose to be out -- so he went running under a couch to hide from us. Unfortunately, Rutgers was under the couch at the time too! The minute they realized they both were there, a cat fight broke out. Hissing, spitting, hitting, biting, etc. These two accidents occurred the first week - after that we improved our door locking skills to avoid more accidental meetings.

Over the next 5 weeks we kept her in the bedroom and we did the whole blanket trick, and playing through the door, eating on opposite sides of the door, vanilla trick, and Feliway diffusers on every floor etc. After a few weeks, we started letting them eat in the same room together -- all was fine. Over two weeks we slowly let her hang with each of the boys and there were no problems -- V8 liked her and Kingston ignored her. So we then let her have free run of the house. Things went well at first, but now everything is going downhill.

Kingston scares her to pieces... everywhere she goes, he is there. He lays down in doorways to try to block her in rooms, he walks up to her and sticks his face really close to her face until she lays down or runs away. If she runs, he chases her until she is trapped somewhere. He never touches her.. he doesn't hit her or harm her in anyway, but he scares her to the point that she avoids him and runs and hides anytime he comes near her. She WILL hiss and hit him if he traps her for long enough although normally we intervene before it gets to that point.

We are keeping her locked in the bedroom when we aren’t home right now, but are still letting her run around when we are. She gets along well with V8, and Kingston and her ignore each other quite a bit... but there are always several times he stalks and stares her down. Is this something they will resolve themselves? Is this Kingston just showing her who's boss, or is this a behavior problem that will continue? I feel horrible that this little girl is being scared so often by him. Nothing we try seems to be helping. Do we need to separate them completely and start over? She cries when we lock her in the bedroom so I don’t want to have to do that unless it is absolutely necessary.

For the most part we keep them active and too busy to bother each other -- but we want them to learn how to coexist without us always having to keep them occupied on other things. We have already taken them all to the vet and everyone is fine health-wise.

A: You say, “She WILL hiss and hit him if he traps her for long enough although normally we intervene before it gets to that point.”

Believe it or not, I think that your intervening might well be a big part of your problem.

Every time a new cat joins an established group (even a group of two), the group dynamics and social structures shift and morph. With cats, this can take time. In your case, you added a female to an all-male group – and although all the cats are altered, gender resides in the brain every much as in the gonads. Your males, especially Kingston, have some learning and adjusting to do – after all, Kingston hasn’t had contact with females since he was a kitten.

Cats don’t form fixed hierarchies like dogs do; their social structures are much more fluid and dynamic. There’s no “always the boss, all the time” alpha cat. But there IS generally a “leader” who is usually the group’s senior female, or the female who has adopted that maternal role.

The more I live with groups of cats, the more convinced I am of the importance of letting cats work out their own social arrangements, on their own timetable. Sometimes, this can take awhile, and can involve a lot of hissing, chasing, posturing, and the like. The temptation to “meddle,” to “protect the victim” can be very powerful – I know that extremely well. You’ve stated that no one is getting hurt, so obviously the dust-ups are a lot of “sound and fury signifying …” well, not that much.

Those early accidental meetings were just that – accidents. I suspect the cats understood this quite well. In both cases, both cats were surprised, not actively hostile. Your assuming that these accidental meetings were “traumatic” and that they “freaked out” the cats is, I think, in error. That’s a very human, not feline reaction. Cats, being highly-tuned animals VERY close in temperament to their wild cousins, don’t stop to think when they’re startled – they just REACT. The result can be a noisy, even scary-looking and sounding dust-up – but it’s usually over in seconds – I call this, ”no harm, no foul.”

The meeting under the sofa was more prolonged only because both cats were in such a confined space. In all likelihood, they were both trying to find their way to the nearest exit (escape route) as soon as possible, but the surprise of the other cat’s appearance confused them, so they REACTED by going into a defensive-aggression mode.

I suspect that your reaction to the dust-ups affected the cats by placing undue importance upon them. They were probably more traumatic for you than the cats – and the cats picked up your reactions and strong emotions. As Myrna Milani, DVM (whose books and web site, www. MMilani.com, I HIGHLY recommend!) is fond of saying, “Calm owner, calm cat.” And remember, most of these little tiffs are just – to the cats – “no harm, no foul.”