Herding Cats At Home - December 2004

So… try to resist the urge to meddle – unless, of course, somebody is actually getting hurt.

You’re doing a lot of things exactly right, especially:

1) “For the most part we keep them active and too busy to bother each other but we want them to learn how to coexist without us always having to keep them occupied on other things.”

2) “We have already taken them all to the vet and everyone is fine health-wise.”

Both extremely wise moves! Daily interactive play is VERY important. It helps burn off extra energy, reduces stress, and lets the cats enjoy a pleasant, fun experience in one another’s company. Follow up with a few tasty treats and LOTS of praise for everybody’s leaping and running abilities. Make it fun and special – a much-anticipated event. Cats LOVE routine and ritual. Consistency gives them assurance that all is safe and well in their world. Use the same location, same cue phrases, same time of day.

My advice? First, adjust your own attitude to one more of joy and admiration in the company of your cats, than feelings of worry and stress. Cats are enormously sensitive to our emotions and moods. They readily pick up stress, fear and worry from us. Avoid the urge to meddle, and to “protect” Rutgers from Kingston. Let her hiss and whack him when she feels it appropriate. This will empower her and help her integrate into the group as a full member. She needs to “fight her own battles” to gain and secure her place in your cat group. Observe all interactions discreetly, but act as unconcerned as you can manage.

Try diversion. Cats are opportunistic animals. If a cat is doing something you’d rather he didn’t, offer him a better alternative. For example, when Kingston is “eyeing” Rutgers (you probably recognize that “pre-chase” look by now), perhaps toss him a toy, or a treat. Re-focus his attention. Walk into another room and say or do something that will catch his attention and make him follow you instead of remain focused on Rutgers.

If keeping Rutgers physically separated from Kingston while you’re not there makes you feel more comfortable, go ahead. But don’t do this long term, and try to minimize as much as possible the length of time they’re separated. They need to coalesce into a group, and physical separation will just delay this. In any case, since no one seems to be getting hurt, you might consider letting them interact freely while you make short trips away, just to get everybody (including you) used to the idea.

If the situation doesn’t gradually resolve, or if you feel the problems are getting worse, ask your veterinarian about possible pharmaceutical approaches. There are a number of well-proven, safe medications that can be given for a short period that will help cats get “over the hump” in touchy social situations. The medications calm them while they adjust. It also helps prevent the formation of bad habits and long-term bad feelings between cats. I’ve used some of these medications, very successfully, with my own cats.

Q: How does one know when a cat is happy ? We are fostering a cat and her kittens from the refuge, and as far as we know she appears to be happy, but sometimes we wonder how does one tell if a cat is happy.

A: In general, a happy cat eats well but not compulsively; grooms herself regularly and thoroughly, but not obsessively; and eliminates regularly in the approved location (usually a litter box).